b3ta.com qotw

Home » Question of the Week » Off Topic » Post 351675 | Search

Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

« Go Back | Popular

Go on then
(Hi becks!)

*does best lusty impression*

It's fucking Friday, you fuckers!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:43, 194 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning Sam
I wonder if today will be as quiet as it has been all week?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:51, Reply)

I'll talk to myself then
since you're all ignoring me...

How are we all? I should've got paid today (aka midnight last night) because the 25th falls on a weekend, but checked this morning and I didn't, fuckers!

Puts paid to my ordering of an Xbox that was planned for today, and my weekend long gaming session...

~~*sads*~~ *angry*

Edit: Hi Dok, yeah it has been dead in here all week, maybe we should advertise on the internet to get some fresh blood!

I was well busy at work yesterday and haven't got paid as stated above so I am on strike today.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:51, Reply)

Bwhahaha
I've KILLED HSH, but you're welcome to join the hate thread.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Fuck off the lot of you.
You're all a bunch of sagging, squelching herpes-ridden cunts.

@Bert, I used to be such a nice girl and now you've made me all sweary :(
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:03, Reply)

Happy B3tamas Lusty!
Did you get anything nice?

You can't blame that on me, I'm not the one putting bad things in your mouth.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:04, Reply)

*puts a bad thing in your mouth*

(

Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:09, Reply)

I got tickets to go and see my friend in Sweden.
But that's an early real life birthday present, not a b3ta one.

I should be booking my tickets to NY and Canada this afternoon. I'll be poor now, so if anyone's willing to pay me for sexual favours let me know.
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:09, Reply)

Happy b3taday lusty
I'd pay you for sexual favours any day but there's a credit crunch on doncha know.

I've got 32p and a packet of Tesco own brand salt & vinegar crisps if that's any good?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:11, Reply)

*takes No3l's cock out of his mouth*
Lusty, I'll pay you for a blowjob in monthly instalments of £10, at an interest rate of 100,000,000%

*puts No3l's cock back in mouth*
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:14, Reply)

*sighs*
It's fine, thanks for the offers guys but I think I'll get a better rate if I hang about the carpark next to Iceland.
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Morning spazmos
I have figured out how to turn off the folding linklists in Opera Mini, so I'm feeling very pleased with myself.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Morning Lusty & Bert
are you having a good time?

Happy B3taday as well Lusty.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:23, Reply)

Morning Light in Chains
I'm supposed to be a geek, and I don't have a fucking clue what that means!

Do you not have internet access on your PC then? That must suck...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:26, Reply)

Dok
Lusty seems said, I'm no good at cheering the ladies up, so you give it a go.

Ok lusty, I'll give you £50 for a blowjob, £75 for full sex, or £100 for full sex, but you dress like John Belushi and call me James.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:27, Reply)

@Bert
John Belushi from animal house or blues brothers?
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:30, Reply)

No
John Belushi from The Rutles, of course!

'The most feared promoter in the west' or whatever he was called
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Lusty Sad
I don't believe it!

*hugs Lusty*

*is a good boy*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:34, Reply)

You bunch of hairy arsed fuckers!
I'm currently eating a banana.

Well I would if it was ripe, its a bit too stiff :(

Herr, thats the least comforting comfort sig I've ever read.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Hi Red
How's life treating you today?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Happy B3taday Lusty!
Roll on 12 when I can go home!

Lusty I'd pay you lots but I don't have any money either :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Morning Ethel and TGB!
Do you want to swap bananas Ethel? I like them stiff, mine today's a bit overripe and limp for my tastes.

_{The innuendo in this post was brought to you by Kenneth Williams}
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Sam
When Opera sees a list of links, like on the main QOTW page, it replaces them with a little + you can click on to expand (it folds them). It's annoying. I do have internet on my work pc but b3ta is blocked and usage is monitored - so although I found out this morning I can access sickrik, I'd best not.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Hmmm...
Am I the only one here who gets paid weekly?

*looks at Lusty*

*grins*
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Tis the Credit Crunch
It's making everybody skint. Mainly because the shops are increasing prices so they can stay afloat! Bastards!

Hi Badger *hugs & snogs*
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:45, Reply)

Herr
I'm all good thanks.

Sam,

Please do.

TGB

*snuggles and huggles*
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Morning all!
Had another threatening letter from ex-letting agent Cuntface McDischarge. *seethes*

Apart from that, I'm massively busy at work, exhausted, and completely spent in every way.

Time to find a rich woman to marry!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Red
Yup, thats the point of it. I'm not the best person at comforting people.

EDIT Lab, if you find one tell me where, I could do with one as well!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Rubbish Light
Can you not use your ninja computer skills to get round it, or do you work for a huge corporation and it's monitored in America or something?

Dok - food prices have also risen massively, so that's got something to do with it.

Morning Lab!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Happy b3taday, Lusty.
I'm lying on my sofa thinking about you, Sunday, cake and cucumbers :)
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Big throbbing juicy cucumbers just aching to be held?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Woo lots of hugs and snogs for me :D
Lab when you find your rich woman can I have an affair with her that way you'll get a pay out in the divorce and I'll get a sugar mommy :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Sure thing TGB!
Ooo, happy B3taday Lusty :D
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Come on then Kaol,
Hop on.
We'll work out how much you owe me later.
I sure my mother would be so proud if she read that

@clendrix. I actually had a dream about tea and cakes last night!

Edit: Thanks lab! :D
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Mmm...dreams involving cream.
Al, I think they're going to be sliced.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Dreams
I mostly hate them!

Last night I had a dream involving far too many B3tans, no it wasn't a sex dream, and it didn't involve drinking!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:04, Reply)

I'm not much of a Ninja
And my monthly browsing is already three times that of the next highest. Plus the monitors are a bunch of humourless twunts.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Er...
I can't with everyone watching :(
It's like their eyes are drilling into me.

I know of a shipping container nearby though.
Because, yes, I'm pure class.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:05, Reply)

Dreams
Just remembered! I dreamt I kissed Evil Pixie (some here know her). She was terrible.

In the same dream I shat myself, and had to clean up in a large fancy bathroom.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Kaol
Eyes don't drill, that would be the power drill I'm holding.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Hahaha!
Oh Lab, what a dream!

I had a dream last night that I had a brain tumour. And six months to live.
But they'd got it wrong, and it was actually only a few weeks.
I have rubbish dreams.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Lab
do you have a crush on evil pixie!?? I'm sooooo going to tell her!!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:11, Reply)

@Kaol
I once had sex on a roundabout in Kingsbury. I wouldn't worry about being classy.
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:11, Reply)

No Badger
I most certainly do not.

Feel free to tell her about my dream though, it would mean that any shin-kicks I receive would be somewhat justified, as opposed to being random acts of violence.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Hahaha!
Fair enough :p

I think my personal worst was up against a chest-freezer in an old pig-shed :|
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:15, Reply)

You're so classy Kaol!
Lab don't deny your feelings, it's ok.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:17, Reply)

.
A supermarket
A post office
The woods where they filmed The Omen.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Hahahaha!
I love "The woods where they filmed The Omen."
You win!

EDIT: TGB, I know... Pure class. At least there weren't any pigs in there.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Look Ma, no teeth
Hey up,

I'm off the dentist to get one of me front teeth extracted.

When I get back I'm gonna type like thith...
(Apathyman Prepare to be underwhelmed..., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Ok, it's true! I love Evil Pixie!
Like the sister I never wanted.

As for places... erm... never outside houses or hotel rooms!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Pics please, Apathyman!

(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:20, Reply)

I'll see your roundabout
And raise you a bandstand in a park, after drinking a bottle of vodka.

We're a classy bunch!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Against the outside wall of Vauxhall City Farm.

One of my friends did it in a half full skip, and ended up in A&E due to the huge gash he got!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha
huge gash
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:21, Reply)

I'm not going to discuss
where i've done it in case mrs al ever decides to read b3ta.

Of course, given some of the stuff i've posted, a small discussion on where we've done it is likely to be quite low on the list of reason why she no longer wants to marry me. But still, I have principles and that.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:22, Reply)

So, this sex thing
Is it any good? Better than a good book, or pizza?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:22, Reply)

Pffft!
huge gash indeed clendrix

*sniggers mightily*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:22, Reply)

I'm so boring
I don't have any "classy" places :(
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Chains
It depends on the other person/s involed, and what book/pizza it was.

EDIT Drixy, we named him nd her Skippy after that.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Al
I never kiss and tell either, at least not specifics. I'm alright with stating that I've not had sex in crazy places though.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:25, Reply)

That's not true TGB
What about when you got motorboated by lusty in the middle of the pub?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Al
I was motorboated by Bert in the middle of the pub. Lusty motorboated me outside :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Sorry
I was so busy wanking into that pile of coats that I wasn't paying attention.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:27, Reply)

Sex
in crazy places is kinda fun, especialy if you're caught.

I once got walked in on while doing the dirty by my GF at the times little sister, I couldn't stop laughing, and was unable to tell the GF why.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Al, that reminds me,
Was talking to the lovely Ms. Ancrenne the other day, and she said that the official term for the "coat pile" is now a Tramp Nest.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Kaol
Remind me not to put my coat on the tramp pile ;)
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Well
I feel sorry for the tramp that was nesting in there.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:35, Reply)

I bet he loved it.
They call it "Street Milk" anyway.
It's highly nutritious.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:36, Reply)

What a crap day I'm having.
I am currently sitting in my warm house, in my pyjamas, drinking coffee.
Soon, I'm going to go to the office for a few hours to post on /talk and OT and drink more coffee.
Then one of my favourite people is coming to town, so I have to eat Chinese food/drink/smoke/play guitar with him.

Piece of shit, eh?
In other news, it's raining, so I shall look like 70s Perm Woman all day.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Well
I've got a day of sitting here pretending to work, then I'm off to London for Chinese food, smoking and guitar-playing with 70s Perm Woman.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Ahhhhh 70s Perm Woman
get out of my lurid imagination and let me get on with some work.

Why won't this cunting fucking bollocks shit fucking wank cunting arse buggering PDF PRINT!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!! CUNT

oh it's working.

as you were people.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:53, Reply)

My day will be
sitting at work doing nothing, then going home to annoy my neighbors by playing my bass at them!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:53, Reply)

I'm finishing at 12
then picking up my tat and it's carrier at the station and my housemate is cooking us dinner later! woot!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:57, Reply)

my day is going worse....
i have my last exam today(and possibly the hardest), and im finding myself on here instead. ive done hardly any studying for it, and it doesn't look like i'll be much today either.
*sigh*

anyone else having a worse day?
(binary, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:57, Reply)

TGB has a pet tat!
What's a tat?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 10:58, Reply)

A puddy-tat?
Grammar Tweety!
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:04, Reply)

Tat
is rubbish gifts from far away lands. The tackier and more hideous the better!

I have a tat shelf it's getting an impressive collection of tat especially when I found a troll in the attic a while back! It's a mummy esq one with bandages and bright orange hair!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:05, Reply)

I'm having a shit day as well binary
Just found out I'm getting paid Monday instead of today, when I should be. And there's the small matter of the £250 they've docked me for 'unpaid leave/sickness' even though I haven't been off ill since November (and I was docked for that on my last pay cheque), only took paid holidays in December and haven't been off at all this year.

Cunts!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:08, Reply)

holidays
are stupid in my work. i wasnt allowed to take exam leave, as apparently were not allowed holidays in january, despite most of the managers already having at least one each. also, im owed 2 days from last year, but ive been told ive taken them. i know that i havent, but it means that the stingy cunts dont have to pay me for them.
(binary, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:11, Reply)

My work
is thinking of bringing in a scheme where you can buy or sell up to 5 days holiday a year. The rate is your pay for a day worked out by salary/260.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Binary
I always did better in exams i didn't revise for.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:19, Reply)

i work
in a shop that is the messiah for the elderly of glasgow, has made more profit every day since that date last year, and we still dont get breaks that were supposed to(like no breaks for a 5 hour shift). they also have a habit of forgetting to pay us when were meant to.
i keep thinking about quitting to find a new job, but there doesnt seem to be many going at the mo.
(binary, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:22, Reply)

@red
i did that for my first 2 exams, and they were a peice of piss. problem is that for this one, i need to know logical formulae, or i am shafted!
(binary, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:24, Reply)

You're entitled to 30 mins break per 6 hours work
So that's why they give you 5 hour shifts - they don't have to give you a break.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:26, Reply)

I just had to go outside
And it's snowing.
Haha!
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Send me some snow Kaol
I want to make obscene snowmen!
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:30, Reply)

I'll obscene your snowman TGB

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:31, Reply)

I'll snowman
your obscenity, al
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:33, Reply)

I'll al your your, snowman obscene.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Bert is here
what a lovely surprise.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Nah!
It's not settling, as it's been raining for the last 24 hours.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Snowman, I'll obscene
your al. Your.

TGB I've been here all morning, you plum.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)

I'll all round riendly your chap Bert.
You obscene snowman your your al.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:37, Reply)

completely random
i dunno if you guys have already been on this website, but its a great way to pass the time.
www.sporcle.com/games/
(loads of quizzes, so it sounds like your doing work!)
(binary, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:40, Reply)

*feels Bert's plums*
Binary is that the one with name all the English Counties? I'm quite good at that
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Hi binary.
You're new.
Which means that you have to answer some questions.

1) If you were in a situation where you either had to kill and eat someone, or kill and fuck them, which would you choose?

2) If you could have any part of your body replaced with a robotic augmentation what would it be?

3) Do aliens exist?
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:44, Reply)

It's not random
that is all
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Ooh!
Can we all answer?

1. Kill and fuck - no Noise of Shame for me.
2. Legs
3. Yes. I have travelled on London buses, so I know this to be true.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Instead of answering
I'm going to just snog Clendrix

*snogs*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Shit
We've just been informed that the department here that I work for is moving offices. Involved in this move is, and I quote, a major restucturing of the department.

I can think of one person in the office that won't have a job, and it isn't me.

Being honest I think we are being screwed over big time!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:52, Reply)

@TGB
yeah, its got loads more. ive been doing the album covers and music ones for most of the morning.
@kaol
1)depends on the situation(do i need the food?)
2)my eyes, being that they are shit
3)yeah, there must be some other form of life out there somewhere
(binary, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:54, Reply)

I may have another look when
I get home then.

a) Depends on if I have ketchup.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:55, Reply)

1. Kill and eat
2. my hair
3. Yes, i've met Bert.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:55, Reply)

Al
pubic or head?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Well, I'd go with:
1) Kill and eat. Then fuck. Work up some more hunger. Then eat some more. Repeat until maggoty.

2) Robot left arm. With claws.

3) Yeah. I reckon they're bacteria. Or we're the aliens.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:58, Reply)

Can I
Kill them and then Fuck them and THEN eat them, since then they'll be seasoned and tenderised?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 11:59, Reply)

Mr. Chains,
Only if you post pictures.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:00, Reply)

*applies for robotic lips*
No not those sort of lips.
Although...
Anyway...
*gives Badger the snog of her life*

Dok, where are you going?
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)

1) Depends on the person, I'd kill and eat Kaol, but I'd kill and fuck every other human being on the planet.

2) My brain, as the one I've got now appears to be broken. Oh, and my cock.

3) No. Fuck off, you fucking nerdy, speccy, sky-watching, Sir Patrick Moore-wanking, piss fucker.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:03, Reply)

Drixy
Torrington Place.

It's more of the whether I'm going to have the same job, and wage when it happens that's bothering me.

EDIT Kaol
A) Kill and eat, it's the way forward.
B) Eyes so I can have frikin lasers in them.
C) Yes I work with a few!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:06, Reply)

In answer to Kaol's questions.
1)I would kill someone, use their stiff fingers to dill myself off while muching on a bit of their tasty grilled thigh.

2)My bum, buns of steel and all that.

3)Ask me again when I'm drunk and I'll probably get quite shouty about aliens then forget if I believe in them or not and just start talking about how much I fucking hate The Pussycat Dolls instead.
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)

Question Time
1. I'd probably kill and fuck someone, but it'd be purely out of spite.

2. I'd love robotic legs, which would enable me to run fast, jump high, and kick through walls *daydreams*.

3. It depends what you define as 'alien'. Assuming you mean Extra-Terrestrial life, then yes I believe it does exist.
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Lab
You're wrong on count number 3, and I can prove it! Or at least, argue about it a bit and sulk if you persist.

Lusty Them Pussycat dolls piss me off too, teaching young girls to look like strippers, that's all they do. They should be shot with jizz cannons.

The Dolls that is, not the girls.

ok, maybe the girls too
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Next Question
Which Pussycat Doll is your favourite and which Pussycat Dolls song would you most like to be playing in the background while you had your wicked way with them and what would you say to them after you make your vinegar face?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Bert
Firing jizz cannons at young gilrs might be frowned upon in polite society.
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Can we fire our jizz cannons at you instead lusty?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:45, Reply)

I don't give a damn about society
Al, the one with the dark hair and the sailor outfit was my favourite. I'd like to listen to that one with all the bleeps.

The rest look like ladyboys.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Interesting Bert
I'd be delighted to hear your theories.

My belief stems out of my desire to fuck an alien, so long as they're hot like the blue chick in Mass Effect. I'd also fuck a female twi'lek, imagine what she could do with those head-tentacle things!
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:47, Reply)

Didn't one of them used to be a man?
Or is that some other pop-group?

EDIT: Lab, that was the most disgustingly geeky comment I've heard all week.
I'm really, really upset by the fact that I know what you mean on both counts though. Apart from the wanting to fuck 'em thing. That's just odd.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:49, Reply)

I just did a brilliant
good son thing and reminded my mummy to look for tina turner tickets.

I think I just earned some serious brownie points.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:52, Reply)

Lab
They are her genitals!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:52, Reply)

Al, didn't your mum get you
AC/DC tickets?
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:53, Reply)

Thanks for the compliment Kaol!
I've just found this! *falls about laughing*
(

Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:54, Reply)

@al
I'd rather you didn't fire any jizz at me. Last time someone did that it filled up my belly button and got a bit messy. :(
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:56, Reply)

Yes she did didn't she
I'd forgotten about that. Well, not forgotten, but I did buy her a big bunch of flowers to say thanks for that already.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:56, Reply)

So, al,
The balance is restored.
You can go back to being a cunt to her now.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 12:57, Reply)

This ones for my main girl lusty

Word
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:03, Reply)

Hmmmm
I think I deserve some sort of threadkilling knighthood for that one.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:41, Reply)

I knight thee
Sir Al the Thread Killer
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Woohoo!
Company at last, I was going a bit stir crazy there.

*puts cock away*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:04, Reply)

What the fuck
have you done with everyone else???
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Ooh Tattoos
UV ink bone tattoo, invisible in normal light.

I'm not that into tattoos but that's pretty darn cool.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:19, Reply)

I am spending the day with
Lusty~~'s boobs~~ on Sunday.

What a shame I have no jizz that can compete with Al's.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Baby oil and flour
mixed together can provide an adequate substitute.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Fanks, Al.
You're a diamond.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:26, Reply)

I had lunch
I had to get out of here or else I may have ended up lamping somebody, and at this point in time it would not have been a good idea!

I'm a bit calmer now though!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:26, Reply)

oooh people!
Were you al waiting for someone else so you didn't have to talk to Al?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:26, Reply)

I went to the pub instead of getting lunch.
I'm hungry now. Whoops.
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:28, Reply)

Fuck you all
you're all cunts and I hate you.

*cries*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Yes, Al,
that's right. By diamond, I meant cunt.

Kaol, dinner as big as you like later.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:29, Reply)

But Al
We all love you!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Not you Clendrix
you're nice, it's that nasty TGB really, she didn't want to talk to me. She pretended she wasn't there.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Ooooh!
Is it an Eat-'Til-You-Spew place?
Wicked!
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:32, Reply)

*hugs Al inappropriately*
Kaol, yes. And there's tons.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:32, Reply)

are those
"wan" tons?

Ahahahaha

Ahahahahahahahaha

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Al...
Have you ever stopped to consider that the world would be a better place if you couldn't type?
(

Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:35, Reply)

*gives Al his meds*

(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:35, Reply)

*goes back to crying*

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Lusty...
you should get over to the boob thread...
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I'm not mean!
I wasn't here I came back just to save you Al
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Well, if you say you're not mean
I'll believe you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Will you believe
anything I say?
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:49, Reply)

I was doing important things.
Like going to the post office and having a cup of tea with my friend.

Thanks for the picture al. It's beautiful.

*heads off to the boobie thread*
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Errrrrr, yeah, probably.
what else have you got to say?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Hmm
that I should be worshipped as Queen of the World! Lusty and Clendrix will also be Queens and we will make the world a better boobier place
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:57, Reply)

My boobs are majestic
and require a crown of pearls.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:59, Reply)

TGB
Boobies = better.

Clendrix you dirty minx. You just made tea come out of my nose. It hurts now :(
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:00, Reply)

AHAHAHA

They do WHAT together?

I do not think you're using that word correctly...
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:01, Reply)

Clendrix your boobs
shall have a crown of pearls. Lusty what kind of crown would your boobs like?

*mixes up baby oil and flour*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:02, Reply)

There's no need
for that baby oil and water, i'm here.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:05, Reply)

TGB
Is it ok if I don't have a crown? I'd rather someone just gave me a nice squishy boobie cuddle.
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:12, Reply)

bagsy that!
*gives Lusty a big squishy boobie hug*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:13, Reply)

HSH
It's all tits and cuddles in this place, isn't it?

Tits and cuddles.... mmm, could be a new buddy Cop film. Tits is the young, maverick cop who likes to break the rules, cuddles is just three days away from retirement.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:14, Reply)

A buddy whore movie
more like.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Two mismatched whores
desperate to make one final score and bring down the big boss all over their faces.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Potayto
Potatto
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:18, Reply)

I'll direct that film
*gets out directors chair*
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:21, Reply)

Going out with a bang
they have to be careful ~~not~~ to blow it.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:22, Reply)

I'll just stand here and jiggle.
*Stands here*

*jiggles*
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:22, Reply)

I want to be the pimp/Police Chief
I'll say things like, 'You're off the case, Tits, until you can get your act together. In the meantime, felch my pony while I film you for the internet.'

*smokes cigar*
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:22, Reply)

I'll hold auditions
Lusty your jiggling, as always, is impeccable. You're hired.
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:25, Reply)

I'll be the big bosses
chief henchman, who has to take on the younger whore in a one on one shorty before the pair of them team up for the big boss.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:27, Reply)

Turner and Cooch
"You're going down for this, Cuddles"
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:27, Reply)

Al
I'm afraid I've had a phone call from your missus who says you're not allowed to play :p
(

TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:28, Reply)

@Bert
That's just made me think of you being as Jimmy Savile. I think it was the cigar what done it.
(

wanderlust, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:28, Reply)

Oh
well, fair enough. She's probably right.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Aw, al
don't let that bitch stop you. She's manipulated you into asking her to marry you, I'm the one who really loves you.
Don't leave me, please, oh god please. Don't leave me.

*cries*

Besides, it's only acting. You don't actually have to shag any of us.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Well
if it's only acting, I don't want to bother then.

The whole point was getting to bum you all for a while.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:36, Reply)

All of us?
Somebody's exaggerating the extent of their sexual prowess, aren't they?

I'd give you two minutes with me, then four hours of crying.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Can you make it
one minute and six hours?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:40, Reply)

I'll have to get out the studded condom
but it wouldn't be a problem.
(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:41, Reply)

Speaking of Gigantacock
Although this looks more like a turd.

And if that doesn't give you a heart attack, how about this?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Oops
I killed everyone. With pork.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:02, Reply)

It's good pork mind.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Death by pork.
It's the b3ta snuff movie.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:08, Reply)

I'll give you death by pork Clendrix

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Pfffft

(

Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:15, Reply)

I'll Pfffffft you Bert.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Go on then, Al.
Get your hock out.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:21, Reply)

My hock?
This oversized bottle of disgusting white wine that I keep in the cupboard for when guests come round?

Okay then.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:23, Reply)

I prefer a lamb shank myself
as it were.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:28, Reply)

Al hates me...
but I deserve it.
*cries*
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:41, Reply)

What did you do?
Surely Al is a merry soul, friend to all and protector of small woodland creatures?
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 17:02, Reply)

He is! He's lovely!
But I lied to him and made him feel sad.
(

thealternativefact, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 17:05, Reply)

Darn
I put in some work on a Kitchener poster for the boobs thread before realising everyone else left 2 hours ago.
(

The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 17:41, Reply)

« Go Back | Reply To This »

Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1