As it's quiet and dull in here at the moment
And following on from Monkeysex's question the other day about which b3tan you admired the most (I noticed that almost none of you feckers said me! But I'll gloss over that one for now...but I'll be watching...)

Anyway, if you could have a 'free pass' to anyone in the world - celebrities included - who would you spend a night of raw passion with?

The free pass would mean that no existing partner would be upset/jealous/ditch you and so on, it would be as if it had never happened.

Personally it's a difficult choice...probably either Daniel Craig (I know it's a cliché, but he's such a hard man in the Bond films - after the naked torture scene in the first one I just slithered off my seat in the cinema) or Mark Ruffalo - particularly as he was in 'In the Cut' - yet another hard man with bags and bags of rough sex appeal.

Erm...is it me, or is it rather warm in here?



**EDIT***

While I'm at it, erm, so to speak...
what is it about that particular person you're attracted to? Is it an entirely physical thing? I can think of men far more physically attractive than Craig and Ruffalo, but both of them have this slightly tough and almost mean streak to them which I find sexy - in my head anyway, in real life men who are mean are just plain unpleasant.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:35, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hmm
So many to choose from. Do I go with a celebrity, or someone I know? What if the lady I choose is terrible in bed, or won't let me do the naughty things I want to do?

To keep things simple, I'll choose either Eliza Dushku, or Mila Kunis.

Edit: Why? I'm not sure, both are obviously hot, and have a bit of a feisty attitude!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:40, Reply)

If it's any celeb at any time in their career?
Racquel welch in her early forties.


Bollocks, I'd still do her NOW!

*shames*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:41, Reply)

I've always fancied a go
on some conjoined twins....

or a midget...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Hmmm
Cristina Ricci. Or Shirley Mansun
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Tina Fey.
But if I could be greedy I'd ask Amy Poehler to join us.

Yes, it is quite warm in here isn't it?

Edit: To the new part of the question - they are both brilliantly funny in an intelligent way and hot as all get out. It's a killer combination.

And funny women also, in my limited experience, are generally dirty too. That helps.

Is it getting even warmer?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Jenny Agutter
on the set of "Logan's Run".

Oh Ghodd!

*cums*

EDIT: Apart from her being just plain lovely, especially in the awfully 1970's costumes for the film, it's the vulnerable little posh girl thing would make me feel like one of Lady Chatterley's farmyard love (lust?) interests cos I'm a terrible prole really.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Geike Arnaert
Tall, blonde, effortlessly elegant. But particularly because her singing voice...does things to me...

I think I shall need to open a window. Not 'cause it's getting that hot, but I can't find a tissue or other absorbent surface...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:08, Reply)

@ Mme Poulet
The gentlemen with a mean/hard streak is, in my experience, almost universally lusted after by ladies. The fact that Mr Craig is tanned, toned, good-looking and minted is a bonus!

The pale, balding, fat and impecunious bits of MY persona seem to cool their ardour a bit.

Ah well, I console myself with the belief that all actors, regardless of their womanising reputations, are a bit fey.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Rachel Weisz
She's perfect. Gorgeous. beautiful voice.

Natalie Portman - I actually love her

Sarah Chalke (Elliot from Scurbs) - because she is hot and I reckon she's filthy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:17, Reply)

Captain,
you most definitely have a point there - I think it's because being tough suggests that they are brimming with testosterone and therefore good mates as they'll be able to provide lots of genetic material (in other words, they'll get it up, spluff bucketfuls and get us up the duff quickly).

Personally men who look like they can wrestle a bear are always attractive - even more so if they're fit and toned.

And muscley.

And now I'm going to go and think about this while I lie down quietly in a darkened room.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:20, Reply)

George Clooney.
Yeah I know he's the housewife's choice but damn he gets better with age and even though he's suave, sophisticated and witty, I know deep down he'd be a dirty little bugger.


I just know it.
( girlinthehole, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:20, Reply)

@Vipros
Yeah, you may be onto something which Rachel Weisz*. An English Rose, if ever there was one.

*_{In a manner of speaking...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Stephanie Leonidas...
...for that slightly mischievous innocence.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:26, Reply)

@Mme Poulet
but I believe it's the "Gentleman" part which has a great bearing on it. I've never met a woman who doesn't like good manners, good grooming etc. The ability to beat seven shades out of potential attackers is good for attraction as well.
I agree about the spluffage potential bit too. It's probably a cavewoman thing "Him kill lots of mammoth and shag like rabid baboon, bring me flowers too".

Or I could just be colossally stoned.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Stephanie Leonidas
was in a film called "Feast of the Goat"

she's the perfect b3tan choice
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:34, Reply)

"Him kill lots of mammoth and shag like rabid baboon, bring me flowers too".
Does it for me every time.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:44, Reply)

I can kill flowers, am shaggy like a mammoth and could possibly bring you a rabid baboon
_{Is this doing it for you?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:45, Reply)

I used to say Grace Jones circa 82...
...until Mrs Tugnut said that Grace would probably strap one on and roger my wimpy arse until I cried like a baby.

Hmmmmmmn!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Monica Bellucci
and I don't feel like I have to justify myself to you, or anyone else.

From Dusk Til Dawn era Salma Hayek too. I like my women dark (ok, latina), enigmatic, curvy and sexier than al in a goat suit.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:47, Reply)

No contest.
Salma Hayek.

Though I wouldn't pass on Asia Carrera...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Bert
I'm with you on Salma Hayek from that time (literally, we'll both get on her)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:49, Reply)

I've narrowed it down to 3...
Daniel Craig (yes, cliched, but he's universally lusted after for a very good reason: the man is sex on lovely muscley firm legs...).

Brendan Fraser: he was in George of the Jungle. And he's very intelligent. And in George of the Jungle he wore a loincloth. And he has a good sense of humour as far as I can tell. And in George of the Jungle, they covered him in baby oil. While he was in the loincloth. I might have to go and have a lie-down now

Sebastien Chabal: the big, hairy french rugby player, who looks like Jesus if Jesus were a rugby-playing bundle of sex-muscle.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:50, Reply)

Oi! Bert!
Who pulled your chain?

"I don't have to justify myself to you!"

Woooo!
Handbags at dawn!

You don't have to justify why you prefer Salma over our own darling Al.

And I suggest you behave or else we'll send Clendrix and Lusty around - Lusty'll motorboat you while she's wearing a sports bra and Clendrix'll get out the 'special' strap-on.


@ Crow
Corr!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Nobody pulled my chain, you sexy beast
I just think that when it comes to Bellucci, you really don't have to say anything.

I didn't say that I prefer Ms Hayek, but she'd definitely give al a run for his money.

Tell clendrix and lusty to bring it on, I'm totally into that kind of thing, but I've never been able to find a woman brave enough.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Empress
I agree entirely with Craig and Fraser - I loved him in the remake of Bedazzled.

The French rugby chappie scares me, but if Jesus really did look like this we'd all be Christians just out of fear...

www.sportlive.it/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/sebastien-chabal.jpg
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Bert
Never been able to find a woman brave enough?

Maybe you'll have to go out with Kaol on his prowls for dead prostitutes roadkill.

Oops, no, sorry - it's CHCB that does roadkill!

;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 14:59, Reply)

@chickenlady
Yup, despite the gammy eye, that's just made me go all weak at the mimsy knees.

Oh, plus any of the male leads (Angel, Spike, Oz, Giles, Xander) from the second series of Buffy.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:01, Reply)

You seem very excitable today, poultrygirl
Are you watching Casino Royale?

Speaking of which, Chris motherfucking Cornell would get it seriously hard from me, I'd let him return the favour, and suck his cock too.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:01, Reply)

No I'm not watching Casino Royale,
but I haven't had the pleasure of a certain mountain biker's company since last Sunday and I'm getting in the car to drive up for the weekend soon.

:)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:05, Reply)

OoooOOOOoooooh
Mrs Monkeysex (or possible ex Mrs Monkeysex, we haven't worked that out yet) is driving up to see me tonight.

We goan git it own.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:07, Reply)

Hang on,
I've been down-graded to only being allowed to have sex with road-kill?
Thanks a fuckin' lot.

Although I guess I could always steal a bus and go off-roading in a playground.
( Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:10, Reply)

So you could fuck dead kids?
Seriously Kaol, new low, even for you.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:10, Reply)

Hey,
I'm building burning bridges.
( Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:12, Reply)

Bridges to spending the rest of your life on
the Sex Offenders register.

Where's Lab? I'm going to tell on you!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:13, Reply)

Hey Bert,
at least if they're dead they won't turn him down.

;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:14, Reply)

No
they'll turn him ON
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:16, Reply)

Oh...
Fuck you, chickenlady!
Won't be so funny when I leave the violated, maggoty meat-piles in your front garden, will it?
( Cawl, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:23, Reply)

I want to say Johnny Depp
because he is the most beautiful man in the world, but I don't really want to sleep with a boy who's prettier than me.

So I'm going to go with Edward Norton, especially when he's got the spiky hair and devil beard in the SECOND half of American History X, not the skinhead nazi look from the first half.

EDIT: reason being because he's deliciously sexy and a rather impressive actor and also because I now can't read Palanhiuk books without him narrating them in my head.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Okay, to get us back on track...
Monica Bellucci is on the list in a very big way, as is Eva Mendes.

Cindy Crawford as well. And Elle MacPhearson.

But Salma is still at the top of my list.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:27, Reply)

Mendes
Has a fruit gum stuck on her face.

No thanks.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:29, Reply)

I'm fairly sure it was Frankspencer

That alerted me to the existence of Vida Guerra. I innocently Google-imaged her when I was in the library one luchtime, purely out of curiosity. Killed the cat? Damn near did for me too!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:42, Reply)

@ Kaol
That's alright, we'll leave it there for Al's goat to lick up.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Ah yes, Vida.
World's nicest arse, that is.

That said, you can find equally hot women in Brazil, I'm told.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 23 Jan 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Since watching 'P.S. I Love You'
I've had a craving for Swank, of the Hilary variety. Although at some angles she gets a Jimmy Hill Chin Bonus.


Otherwise, another vote for Rachel Weisz, especially in Enemy At The Gates.
Something about a dirty little girl getting it on in a crowded room.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Dora from Follyfoot.
The cause of my first ever custard-spillage - I still get a special feeling thinking of her straddling a horse, legs splayed, bobbing up and down...aaaaaaaaaarrrrghhhhhh!

Even that shite 'Whoa, whoa the lightning tree...' song is enough to get me harder than a jigsaw to a blind man.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jan 2009, 16:13, Reply)

*fwaps*
Oh yes... Rachel Weisz.

And Nigella and Kirsty Allsop. If I was very hard up, Sarah Beeny. But I'd be thinking of Kirsty.

And Debby Harry circa 1981.

And Leela from Futurama. I'd make her eye glaze over.

And Geri Halliwell. On the proviso she agreed never to sing, or appear in the media ever again.

I draw the line at Victoria Beckham though. Every man has his limit.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 23 Jan 2009, 22:27, Reply)