Why are some people so stupid?
Fact the first: it's snowed quite a lot over the last couple of days.

Fact the second: when trodden down, snow gets compacted so much it's incredibly icy and slippery.

Fact the third: the best way to walk across this ice is by wearing stout shoes with a good grip.

I wore my hiking boots to the office today. No, they don't go with my smart black trousers, and yes, I looked a bit strange wearing a smart fitted coat, and nice trousers tucked into muddy boots.

Some women exited the tube at the same time as me. They, being slaves to fashion and all, had elected to wear their delicate little kitten-heeled shoes with sparkly bits on. They cast scornful looks at my ugly, clumpy footwear.

Then one of them slipped on the ice. She grabbed on to her friend, who also slipped. Much to my disappointment, neither fell over, but the look of panic on their faces made me all warm inside.

It took me the usual 5 minutes to walk to the office. 15 minutes later, I saw them teeter in, looking on the verge of tears, and complaining loudly about how sore and cold their feet were.

Why oh why can't people dress appropriate to the weather conditions? Why are they so surprised when barely-there shoes offer no grip and no protection against the cold?
Bloody morons.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 13:57, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I blame New Labour
If it wasn't for the cossetting comfort of socialism and associated state nannying, the platform wouldn't have been gritted.

The women in stupid shoes would have slipped onto the track and either been electrocuted or clobbered by a passing train.

They might even have been removed from the gene pool before they had a chance to breed.

Natural selection...

I'm in an uncharitable mood (see above). Having returned from a walk to the Evans round the corner from the office (wearing stout footwear I might add), I had to negotiate my way around hordes of Meanderthals, taking up a whole pavement whilst they bimble along the pavement at half speed lest they miss a bargain in the window. Should they see anything of interest, they'll either stop suddenly or swerve off in the direction of said trinket.

Add icy pavements into the equation and you have chaos. Plus those ridiculous woollen hats with ear warmers give their owners tunnel vision too...

Grrr....
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Women
Know your limits.

...and put the kettle on, I'm parched.

Also, what PJM said^^ this country needs more fascism.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:07, Reply)

I love the ones who think they can walk faster than me
wearing regular shoes while I'm ambling along in walking boots. The guy who stacked it in front of me after pushing past me on the way to the tube this morning...I salute your open fly
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:14, Reply)

His flies were only open
because he was having a rummage while he looked at you from across the carriage.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:18, Reply)

I doubt that Bert
More likely he was running away from his mothers clutches as he looked like she'd dressed him.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:20, Reply)

I saw a woman fall over
In town at lunchtime.
Wearing heels.
For fuck's sake, she deserved it.

I, however was wearing my new army boots. So I laughed.
( Cawl, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:35, Reply)

I'm wearing my CAT boots today.
Doesn't help my car though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Boots made of Cat?
Poor womenfolk, they can't help it. Oestrogen rots their brains.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Oh Burt...
You and your insane statements.

If you weren't a brain surgeon, I'd dispute them. But your science is clearly better than mine.
( Cawl, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:58, Reply)

I would like boots made of cat.
Preferably live ones.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Oh, Kaol
Are we still on for your lobectomy later?

Al, they'd go, 'meow, meow, meow, meow' with every step.
It'd be ACE
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:00, Reply)

No,
The trains are frozen, so I don't think I'll be able to get there.

I could just run into a door-frame, really hard. Would that do?
( Cawl, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:04, Reply)

Do it now
but make sure you add golf shoes to the lintels. I want to be sure that your ability to think is removed completely, for the sake of others.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:05, Reply)

I am wearing smooth soled brogues today

and I serenly glided into work this morning like Torvil and fucking Dean.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Hmmph
It pissed down all night last night.

Result - no snow to witness people going arse over tit on.

I feel deprived.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:12, Reply)

You glided to work
like a fat bird and her dodgey older brother/sexual conquest?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:12, Reply)

I managed to drive
merrily the 25 miles here and back without having an accident sorry road traffic accident as the pohleece like to call it now in the last 2 days.

Unlike 5 people in our department.

fucking i.t. nerds, they should be culled
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:14, Reply)

I drove to the motorway
saw it was stationary, so I turned round and came home and watched Friday the 13th films while I worked via the world wide interhighway.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:16, Reply)

and had a wank too right Al
gotta set the scene just right :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Oh ffs
You lot got four fucking inches of snow and can't handle it! Four inches has paralyzed London!

Want to see what I grew up in? www.oldforge.net/

Two feet of snow would barely slow us down. They'd have it all cleared in about six hours.

In fairness, though, Richmond isn't any better- we got 16" in 1996 and it shut the city down for a week.

GAH!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:23, Reply)

I'll give you bloody four inches, TRL

I'm never going to get bored of making this joke.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:26, Reply)

The reason we can't cope
is we get four inches of snow for maybe two days every couple of years, if we're lucky. So no-one is used to it and no council has the insfrastructure to deal with it, because, lets face it, I would be pissed off if the council were wasting my money on high tech snow clearing vehicles that never get used. I'm quite happy to have a couple of days working from home. Some people just seem to think that this is the worst thing ever in the world.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:26, Reply)

I'll give you four bloody inches Bert
As long as you don't mind me chopping my penis in half*



*lengthways and then sellotaping the two halves together to make four inches instead of my usual two.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:28, Reply)

If they'd gritted the roads on sunday
we wouldn't have half thr problems we've had. They're useless, disorganised bastards.

Don't cut your willy in half al. I love it just the way it is. May I kiss it please?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Oh if you must

(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:35, Reply)

*does his Henry The Hoover impression*

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Putting down sand on it
would accomplish two things- it would provide traction when it gets packed down into ice, and it would also lower the albedo of the snow so that sunlight would melt it much faster. I used to put ashes from my fireplace on the ice to do this, and it worked perfectly every time.

But I suppose that the council wouldn't think of that, would they?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Albedo?
We're not trying to get the ice frisky, Loon.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:38, Reply)

They did think of it
Lots of roads have been covered with salt and grit. But they don't have the trucks to salt and grit every single road, and even if they did, people in the UK still insist on driving like complete retarded fucks despite the weather conditions.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:40, Reply)

They only put grit down around here yesterday
the stupid fucks. When there was already a foot of snow, which was then compacted into ice.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:41, Reply)

I'd get frisky on the ice with you Bert
But you might end up with frostbite on your knees.

And cock
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:42, Reply)

Would it go black and fall off?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:46, Reply)

I heard
that once it goes black, it never goes back.

At least, I think that was what I heard.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:49, Reply)

I'd be happy with a black cock
in every orifice
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:49, Reply)

*has had sex in snow*

It's fun but worrying...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:56, Reply)

As I said, around here they're not much better.
In 1996 when we had our last major snowfall here, the plow came through my neighborhood after a few days. One road has a rather short but somewhat steep hill- at a guess I would say about a 5-7% grade- and they tried to plow it.

Unfortunately the fuckwits tried to plow it by driving up it. The result was that there was one pass of the plow blade (wide enough for one car) that swerved and veered all over that little stretch of hill, and after that they were so discouraged that they didn't bother to plow the rest. It melted and froze into an icy sheet that no one could pass for about two weeks.

I wished soooooo hard that I could find the plow driver and bitchslap him...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Drivers
I've seen a lot of idiot drivers simply pressing their foot to the floor and sporting a confused expression on their face as if to say "why won't it go, innit?".

You feel like banging on the window and shouting "try pulling away in second or even third, you clot!". Even the most tasteless of expensive wankmobiles will still go sideways if the owner has no idea how to drive it.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:01, Reply)

I was coming down a steepish hill
on my way back home today and I was taking it very slow since there were parked cars on both sides of the road. And this fucking tool in a 4x4 was right on my arse the whole way down. I felt like stopping and cunting them in the fuck for being such a dumbass.

But if I started I would never be able to get anywhere for all the fuck cunting I would have to do.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:05, Reply)

I broke down five times before I'd even left my road
and broke down a sixth time at the roundabout with the giant cock on it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:08, Reply)

@Al
They're the type who think the "low range" lever is there solely to hang their indian takeaways from.

The twats.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:10, Reply)

I break down
every time I remember that night we spent together Bert.

My therapist says I'm getting better though.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:12, Reply)

*has the pictorial evidence*
It was a beautiful night Al, why are you trying to forget it?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:14, Reply)

You have made me feel better about
wearing hiking boots myself today :-)
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 16:22, Reply)

they should get wise, and get *boots*

( cackers, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 19:23, Reply)

^^Woody check!

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 3 Feb 2009, 20:35, Reply)