Fuck My Life!
www.fmylife.com/

(No, I have not posted any entries in here- I've been too busy laughing at some of them and feeling the pain of others.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:42, 13 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Pfffft
Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin.

Bunch of emos, the lot of them.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 13:51, Reply)

The hamster one made me laugh.
Poor thing.
( girlinthehole, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Ouch.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I just wrote my own
I hope they post it.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of
the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

Now, a B3tan would have passed comment on his Boss's post-self-coital hand washing habits.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Oli
A real b3tan would have asked to lick his hands.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Hahaha!
"Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out."
( Cawl, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:47, Reply)

ooooh errrrr
Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML

I bet daddy now thinks of his 'little angel' everytime he does sex with mum
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:48, Reply)

Women...
Today, I decided that I was bored while I was pooping and decided to paint my nails. I had to wait at least 30 minutes to wipe. FML

And another

Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
( Captain V, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Heh
The flop ones are just as amusing as the 'that's fucked up' ones.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:10, Reply)

This is the best so far
Today, I was at my friend's younger brother's birthday party, who also happens to be deaf. His father gave him a bat and a blindfold and the boy started swinging away at what he thought was the pinata. Unfortunately, he could not see or hear anyone shouting to stop hitting his father. FML
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Standing up fail
Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 6 Feb 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Does FML stand for "fail"?
I'm too fucking pussy to much check out an emo site like that but a lot of the posts reported here look like piss-takes. I mean.. really? One-off anonymous posts about depressing-yet-unintentionally-hilarious bullshit that have no obvious basis in reality or logical sense? Or I have I finally crossed the generation gap?
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 0:53, Reply)