dear everyone.
I love all you cunts cos you make me smile ALL the fucking time.

Love from,
Your favourite underage lesbian antipodean vampyrecat.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 21 Feb 2009, 2:00, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

underage hmm?
lesbian eh?

thats sooooo wrong, its gotta be right!

runs off to the toilet
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 4:09, Reply)

Halfy
only if it's you. Or Bert. Or maybe Kaol.

/thinks hard about choice.

nah only you. Bert never shuts up about hitlercock or his manly chest, and Kaol gets stabby when things get heated!!
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 21 Feb 2009, 4:26, Reply)

Eh?
Underage? I thought you were 17?

In my book, 17 is ripe.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 8:55, Reply)

haha
bert, she means not old enough to drink.
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:07, Reply)

That's ok
for 50p I'll go into the off licence for her, buy us some liquor, a nice snack, and some condoms.

But we won't use the condoms.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:11, Reply)

What? Not use the condoms?
But I'm sure she LOVES balloon animals!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:22, Reply)

She won't love them so much
when I shove my shit-covered cock down her oesophagus.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:24, Reply)

er
anything good on telly?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:28, Reply)

Probably not, it's Saturday
and 'Going Live' died years ago.

Poor Sarah Green and her lovely knee-high boot. Poor little Sarah indeed.

*fwaps*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:41, Reply)

it started out so luvly and sweet and ting...
and within teh space of but a few moments it was all sordid and sullied and grim!

god i love B3TA and all teh mangey B3TANs!

including you VC, my little ray of sunday morning sunshine! and yes, i know it's only saturday but i'm not working at all this weekend, unless i gats a callout ;-)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:43, Reply)

It's called the Sexmonkey effect
when a butterfly in china flaps it's wings, I'll be here posting filth, lowering the tone of the board and making posts more interesting.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:50, Reply)

it's all about teh filth!
the sordid shite greases the wheels of teh interwebs!!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 21 Feb 2009, 9:58, Reply)

*reads Blaireau's profile*
You're not sexy at all, I'm not going to flirt with you.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 10:00, Reply)

i guess that reading my profile info would take about half a second...
but i are rather sexy, just ask my mrs!!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 21 Feb 2009, 10:03, Reply)

would you flirt with me Bert?
I'm sexy desperate.
( wanderlust, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 10:04, Reply)

That'll be a no then.
I can't even get hairy men from the internet to flirt with me.

:(

I'm just going to sit here shoving cakes, pies and deep fried pizzas into my mouth now til I get so fat firemen have to remove my living room window and lift me out of my house using a crane.
( wanderlust, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 10:23, Reply)

Awh
I'm sorry lusty, I had to do some work, I'll flirt with you if you like.

My my, you've got a lovely looking clunge.

*winks while stroking nipple hair*

EDIT I'm sure that you are sexy really, blair. I was just trying to make you cross.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Who's nipple hair?
Mine or yours?
( wanderlust, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Mine
Do you have nipple hair?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:28, Reply)

just one really long one
below my right nipple.
( wanderlust, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:34, Reply)

That's nasty
Can I lick it?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:40, Reply)

You can pull it out
with your teeth if you like.
( wanderlust, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:45, Reply)

Morning fuckers
Whilst you have all been pissing your life away on the internetz I have been to the opticians, been to Homebase, moved the frezer from the kitchen, washed my car and hoovered downstairs.

And I will soon be off to the hairdressers woot
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:45, Reply)

I don't want to remove it
I want to keep it there and hang laundry from it.

TGB It's the weekend, stop doing so much or the police will squnt your cribble.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:47, Reply)

But I have so much that needs doing!
And I'm all hyped up now *runs around*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Morning you lovely people
* big hugs all around!!! *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:52, Reply)

*dons police helmet*
*squnts your cribble*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Sat 21 Feb 2009, 11:54, Reply)

and back in the room...
just been setting up wireless hub thingy!

@Monkeysexboy...why make me cross? if you do then i won't reach through the interwebs and touch yer todger!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 21 Feb 2009, 12:03, Reply)