Hello. I am at work.
I don't have much work to do, and two hours in which to not do it.

However will I survive?



Plus I'm quite sweaty.
(TheColonel, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:37, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Do you have any litmus paper?

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:40, Reply)

I recommend
Having sex with as many items of office stationary as possible.
Clock's ticking.
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:46, Reply)

I like to see
How loud I can let my tinnitis go before I pass out. Passing out is to lose the game as last time I got rushed to hospital.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:48, Reply)

No Litmus....
were you goin to propose i test the acidity of my armpits?

I am a male, would the sex have to involve the insertion of my member, or could items be "mistakenly sat upon"?
(TheColonel, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:49, Reply)

How old are you?
It's important.
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:49, Reply)

22
with the mental age of roughly 8.
Edit: :D
(TheColonel, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Okaaaay!
*stops thinking about hot sweaty guys*
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Women
find sweat attractive?

If that's the case then I should be a God.
(TheColonel, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:53, Reply)

Well...
You could "sit on" a stapler.
You could fill a vending machine cup with paperclips and go thrusting-crazy. Or drawing pins.

You can always use tipex as lube.
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:54, Reply)

This Bored/Sweaty combination
seems to be a common trait in Colonels for I currently suffer the same affliction.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:56, Reply)

@Colonel69
Only the perverted ones ; )
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Perhaps it is, fellow colonel.
I usually spend my time imagining the most fun ways of killing/mildly irritating my annoying colleagues with stationary.

We have no vending machines, let alone vending machine cups so that is out of the question.

The best I can come up with in my overheated state is to swap the contents of somebodys drawers, or replace their decaf with normal coffee. Can anybody think of any more hilarious ways to be irritating?
(TheColonel, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:04, Reply)

Get on their unlocked computer.
Screenshot the desktop.
Set the shot as the background.
Hide their icons.
Hide the start bar.
Wait and laugh.
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Litmus
are a great band in the space rock vein of the mighty Hawkwind. I recommend their work to all and sundry.

The end.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:11, Reply)

Haha thanks Kaol...
used to do that in school. Absolute classic.
That and the Ctrl-Alt-Arrow key one, but that doesnt always work.

Any others? Not necessarily computer based either.
(TheColonel, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Nothing to do?
Nothing to do?
Put some mustard in your shoe,
Fill your pockets full of soot,
Drive a nail into your foot,
Put some sugar in your hair,
Place your toys upon the stair,
Smear some jelly on the latch,
Eat some mud and strike a match,
Draw a picture on the wall,
Roll some marbles down the hall,
Pour some ink in daddy's cap --
Now go upstairs and take a nap.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:16, Reply)

I like to eat
Preferrably with heat
This occupies my time
A little like this rhyme
Sausages and Bacon
Delicious to be taken
with sauce of red or brown
with tea I wash it down
Emptying my bladder
While I crawl down a ladder
Look. Out. Below.
My Pee's a deep Yel-low.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Oh my word
The poetry. Like angels wings tickling my optic nerve.

Thank you very much. It was delightful.
I now only have 56 minutes to go, if I time things right, I may be able to have a beer in the garden before the sun disappears behind the house. Life is nice again.
(TheColonel, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:33, Reply)