DAMN YOU, VILE WOMAN!
This woman in the office has just got back from a holiday in Cyprus and has brought in sweets to share, as is the custom. The problem is she's brought in two boxes of Cyprus Delight (like Turkish Delight, but don't say that to a Cypriot). Nobody in the office can stand the stuff, so it's just sitting there. Nobody even opened it for a couple of days, and I think a visitor has had one piece.

This would just be unfortunate and a bit sad, if it weren't for the fact that she's visited Cyprus twice a year for the past few years (I think she has relatives there) and she does the same thing every time.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BUY SOMETHING ELSE AND STOP MAKING PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE "OOH, THESE AREN'T GOING DOWN VERY FAST" COMMENTS.

Anyone in your office who just WILL NOT LEARN?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:23, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We've got a guy
Who phones me up a few times a day, asking me to open attachments on emails for him.
So I have to print them out.
Fucking tool.
He's my manager though. So I can't tell him to fuck off.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Yuck
little cubes of gelatin covered in icing sugar.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:29, Reply)

I'm gonna send him some porn, for you to open, Kaol.
I like Delight. But Chains, when she makes those passive-aggressive comments, why don't you just say, 'Yes, they don't seem to be very popular. Perhaps biscuits would be better.'

Or chuck the box at her and be proper aggressive?
( thealternativefact, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:29, Reply)

You could just send it
Directly to me.
*sighs*
( Cawl, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:31, Reply)

Dirty Boy

( thealternativefact, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Well, fuck
can't people just take one back to their desk, not eat it, and just *pretend* they enjoyed? fucking be polite, at least.

hahaha on the attachments, Kaol. used to have the same problems before I attained the sacred state of unemployment. my 'how can I help?' always meant, 'you fucking moron, earning 6 times my salary. what the fuck do you want now??'

ah the werkplattz!
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:33, Reply)

cackers
We did that the first couple of times.

Now we're passive-aggressing right back at her by just leaving them there.

And Clendrix - "but that's not Cyprus-y!" or just "maybe". And then it's two more boxes of Cyprus Delight.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Arbeit macht frei!
(username1, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:36, Reply)

at least, that would get rid of the sweets.
Some people will *not learn*

I know, because is special needs, meself. Witness how I completely mis-read the valence of your post. Perhaps should go back to printing attachments.

Nah.
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:37, Reply)

I once worked with a girl at Natwest who refused to batch total the cheques
this involved adding up 10 cheques (with an adding machine) twice, just to make sure you had the correct total.

She refused to do it on the grounds that it was maths, and she didnt do maths. She got moved to the call centre where she could do less damage.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:38, Reply)

fuck her, then.
There's much better stuff that she could bring back from Cyprus. I never understood the point of taking a vacation and bringing stuff back for the office. As far as I was always concerned, they were just lucky that I turned up after my holidays. It's just *work*, innit?

Don't know what that says about me. But also doesn't care.
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Chains
Take the whole box and give it to me.
*yum*
( thealternativefact, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:45, Reply)

Oh dj, you horrible man :(
You're clearly not old enough to do the creepy-old-man-thing.

At least stink of cheap whiskey when you do it, and leer more.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:49, Reply)

^ agree
Kaol is an expert at this.
( thealternativefact, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:51, Reply)

tears in the workplace!
oh, goodness. I don't miss that for a second. is the forgiving type, and I did have love for my staff, but...

had a receptionist who was dumb as a box of hammers. and prone to little fits of emotion. 'my mouse is dead. my computer won't work'

"um, did you check the batteries on that cordless mouse? do you see that fucking red light flashing? also, I think you knocked the power cable out of your pc". (again!!!)

oh, endless stories. I'm half-moron myself, but some of these people...it's a miracle they find their way home each night!
( cackers, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:53, Reply)

@username1
My elder brother seriously considered getting that put onto his metal gates at his house, when he was replacing them. He also collects Victorian midget postcards. Not quite right, that boy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:55, Reply)

Shurt yer maaaaaf darlin'
Damn you Clendrix!
It's not true.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 16:55, Reply)

just put them in the bin
so that she sees they're in the bin

if that doesn't make the point, just say 'i don't think anyone here likes it and the smell was upsetting people'
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 22:55, Reply)

as to your last question, yes
the fat smelly cunt at the next desk refuses to learn that my desk is not an extension of his desk.
he also refuses to learn to brush his teeth and wash his pits

i'm glad he has been given his notice
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 22:57, Reply)

Col. Dracula
She works in a bank and doesn't do maths?

I'd have thought that was a pre-requisite for banking work, no?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 9:58, Reply)