Be Inventive
With the things that you have on and in your desk come up with a way to inflict pain on as many people as possible.

Myself I would use the Duct tape I have to tie people to their chairs, then play with them with the screwdriver, hammer and pliers I happen to have.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:01, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I would
Tape them to my desk chair.
Get out my beading wire.
Use the wire to sew their skin in patterns.
clamp the wire into their muscle.....
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:06, Reply)

I farted
it's pretty noxious
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:14, Reply)

I like it.
1. I could use the phone to call everyone on my speed dial and tell them to go home immdiately as a loved one has died of swine-fever.

2. Cruise around the streets on a vicious stapler 'drive-by' spree

3.Pour scalding coffee into someones anus.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:16, Reply)

Dr
Number 3 please. Cheers.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:19, Reply)

I like my coffee like I like my women
Anally.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Guys & Galls
What great ideas. Keep them coming.

Bert, You can do better than that!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:23, Reply)

What!?
This is so stealing my idea

*huffs and puffs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:26, Reply)

I would use the coffee coaster to smack them around the head,
Stick the pens in their faces, give them papercuts and then pour the hot tea into the wounds, I'd use the thick heavy ringbinder to break their fingers, and the TV and DVD remotes to force them to watch Pearl Harbor on repeat.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:26, Reply)

I'd stab them with scissors
and then gouge their eyes out with the false teeth we have back here.

That do?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:30, Reply)

HP Photosmart 3310 All in One Fax/Scanner/Printer
To the face. From close range. After a good run-up.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Better Bert
I did like the false teeth bit.

Fredz, that just made me LOL, loudly.

Badger, who be stealing your idea? I've got the duct tape ready!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Thanks...
I say - go for the psychological pain. Broken bones heal, pearl harbor on repeat for a day or so though?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:47, Reply)

I'd
practise my ear piercing on people and give them attractive paperclip earrings. I'd probably have to use some scissors to make the holes though
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Oh yes!!
I have a bag full of silica crystals I use as a wrist rest. I'd make the bastards eat it then drink the can of pepsi I also have. The fun to be had while listening to them scream as the crystals swell and burst their distended stomachs.......
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 27 Apr 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I'd insert my penis into their rectums
but they probably wouldn't feel it.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Mon 27 Apr 2009, 15:42, Reply)