Sitting in a Working Mens Club
Wearing a flat hat.

Drinking warm, flat beer.

Laughing at a fat man telling mother-in-law jokes.

Eating pickled eggs.

Talking about holidays in Blackpool.

Buying lukewarm, greasy chips on the way home.

Repeat ad-infinitum...

EDIT - No you can't chip in. In fact there are still WMC's in the North that women aren't allowed in. You might have to sit in the car park with a coke and a bag of crisps.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:44, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've never ever
done any of that.

except buy lukewarm greasy chips. dousing them with vinegar. mmmmm.

Sounds like a good night out.
So would I have to wear a flat hat?
EDIT: You bastards.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:46, Reply)

If you wear a flat hat
And speak in a deep voice we could probably smuggle you in.

You'd have to put up with being addressed as Norman all night though.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:48, Reply)

I'd have to bind my chest too.
and that hurts.

Yes I've done it before.
Long story.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:50, Reply)

I'd not worry too much about that.
We'll just pad you out with some foam rubber to make you look morbidly obese.

Then you'd REALLY fit in.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:51, Reply)

awesome
I'll let my lesbian tendancies slip out and leer at all the women if that'd help ???
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 8:53, Reply)

That might be awkward
1 - The only women tend to be grizzled old hags behind the bar.

2 - For the standard WMC clientelle Lesbians were invented for, and exist solely in the realm of those mucky films that Derek the postman gets.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 10 May 2009, 8:57, Reply)

Ew.
/thinks of other half and beams.
Will behave. Promises.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 9:02, Reply)

Good
Work time.

Ta ta.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:07, Reply)

byeee
/waves
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 9:13, Reply)

God that sounds like a wonderful night out.
*reminisces*
( girlinthehole, Sun 10 May 2009, 9:07, Reply)

I know
doesn't it just?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 10 May 2009, 9:15, Reply)