Chavs - They Just Can't Help Themselves...
...or in this case, that they have few problems helping themselves is the issue.

My mum paid me a visit this weekend and doesn't like to drive to Manchester from my hometown on her own, so she brought my cousin with her. Also, my younger cousin/her brother, a 14-year old already some way down the Path Of The Chav and his not-too-dissimilar mate came along for the ride.

Those familiar with my postings will know well that I have no love for chavs on account of their being scrounging, thieving, graceless, gutless, witless, amoral wankers and worse still, thinking that's a good thing. Still, since one of them was family I decided to let them in along the logic that I'm happy to give anyone from my hometown a break from that fucking awful place provided they don't take the piss. Hell, maybe I could convince them that there's more to life than the very, VERY little that my hometown has to offer.

So, I spent a few hours in the study with these two letting them try out a couple of my games on the PC whilst my mum and cousin talked the BF's head off in the sitting room (I made it up to him later lol). Some chav hallmarks were in evidence; limited vocabulary, piss-poor attention span, cheapass sportswear etc but otherwise they were respectful of my shit and myself. So far so good.

Still, allowing chavs in my place requires a fair leap of faith for me and they expressed a strong desire to return at some point, which would require a complete change of philosophy on my part, never mind a leap of faith. So I set them a test.

I skinned up some hash for myself and the BF after I'd laid on pizza for everyone, telling them that my mum would have a few things to say if I was offering it to 14-year-olds. Once I was done, I left my weed in plain sight. Shortly after, time came for the clan to head back home, so I left them in the study alone with my weed for 5mins whilst I said a proper goodbye to my mum and older cousin, whom I'd barely been able to chat with the entire time for their presence.

I watched their faces carefully as they left and they were decidedly and suddenly sheepish, which didn't bode well. Once I'd waved them off I checked my stash, and some was missing. Not a lot, maybe two quid's worth but they'd taxed me all the same after I'd fed and watered them and kept them entertained for three hours, the pair of little shits.

I'd really have liked to have been proven wrong, but as I said, they just can't help themselves. One of the definitions of a friend to me is someone whom I don't have to watch like a hawk around my stuff. So the rule is set - no more chavs in my gaff, the younger cousin included. And as for his dibs on my PC when I upgrade next year, he can fuck off in no uncertain terms.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:40, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Let's face it, if they were proper fully fledged chavs then they would have stole all of your stash.
I'm amazed at their self-control.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:46, Reply)

Indeed...
...I took a risk. But these were only proto-chavs, and one subject to a smack around the head by my mum which he'll probably get anyway when I have to tell her why he can't come to my gaff any more.

If they'd been old enough to have served thier chav apprenticeship then they wouldn't have gotten through the door to start with :)
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:50, Reply)

Futhermcukers!
Jeez, nicking from your own?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:57, Reply)

Give him your PC
Just after a severe downgrade and salt it with some useful images.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 18 May 2009, 12:49, Reply)

twunts.
that bugs me. I mean if you want weed - just ask and pay for it! it's not that damn hard!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 May 2009, 13:01, Reply)

Would have set them up with a decent supply as well
/wants a decent supply, not random people I only see once and never again.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:06, Reply)

This is it...
...if they had asked then I probably would have chucked them even a little more than they took without asking, provided that they didn't tell my mum - if you're family then you're never too old for a smack upside t'head from my mum and I'm no exception lol.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:07, Reply)

I'm gonna play devil's advocate here..
..Weed is addictive for many people, so it wasn't just another item of your stuff. They didn't nick anything else, hmm? Seems like a bit of a cruel test, and that's quite apart from the moral implications of putting drugs in the way of 14-year olds.

This year I've broken a cycle of weed addiction lasting years that was only ended when my druggy brother moved out. I hated myself for it but could never stop helping myself (admittedly his stashes were pretty large). I'd go for weeks without then cave in and start a new cycle of addiction. My late twenties were ruined by the stuff. It is definitely addictive. And I'm not a chav.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:38, Reply)

That's precisely why I chose it...
...on account of its attraction to those who indulge. I needed to be sure that they wouldn't be prepared to theive from me, and my stash was the most potent litmus test that I could muster. No-one that I currently call a friend would take even that without asking no matter how much they fancied a puff, and these two had to qualify if they wanted to come back.

As it stands, they failed. Harsh maybe, but with chavs subtlety doesn't work.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

Fair enough I suppose
and on refelction there's not much comparison with my old situation. I despised my bro for various reasons to do with drugs. He went from nicking my cash regularly aged 14 to becoming a nasty ketamine/coke-head, so things weren't exactly even between us to start with. Haven't spoken to him in two months now. Good riddance.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 18 May 2009, 13:52, Reply)