How to deal with racists.
Daughter asked a question yesterday: How do you deal with racists?

She was at the park and a friend of a friend was picking on a coloured kid, calling him an animal and saying they were all scum. She was wound-up by it but unsure if she should have acted.

What advice would you offer?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:19, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

At the risk
of sounding like a Benetton ad, we're all the same under the skin.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:21, Reply)

She knows that
which is why she felt so bad for the kid who was being picked on.

I was a bit stuck for advice really. Do you intervene and risk becoming a target yourself? Do you ignore it?

I did say 'Take a chance to tell the kid that not everyone feels the same way as that idiot' and it might help.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:23, Reply)

That seems like pretty good advice to me
Personally I'd tell the person to stop being a cunt. If you become a target yourself, or you the racist gets defended, then your friends aren't worth spending time with anyway.

I'd also be annoyed at friends who couldn't take a bit of racism, homophobia, xenophobia, making fun of special people etc. etc. when it's clearly not meant seriously and just in good fun.
( Captain V, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:58, Reply)

Tricky
Argueing back with them doesn't neccessarily work. But it does divert attention away from the person who is being bullied, and will make them feel better that someone is sticking up for them, which is worth it.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:22, Reply)

It IS tricky, isn't it?
I'm not one for withholding someone's right to an opinion, but racism gets right under my skin, too.

Unfortunately, I've learned from bitter experience that it's safer to ignore it than stand up to brainwashed bigoted idiotry like this.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:28, Reply)

^^ this
I have had a grand total of one person stand up for me and the gratitude I felt was just overwhelming.

So do both.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 21 May 2009, 8:28, Reply)

Are you a darky?
I never knew!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:52, Reply)

Smooth, dude.
Smooth.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:28, Reply)

erm...
I know I shouldn't but that DID actually make me laugh because it was so unexpected. You could've just checked her profile though and saved yourself the trouble of such a comment :D
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:42, Reply)

Can't
work filter.

Unless they display obvious stereotypical traits, I can't tell.

As far as I know, she's never talked about Fried Chicken and Watermelon, so I can't be sure.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:47, Reply)

I would tell her
to stay out of it to minimise her own risk unless the others will help her, but to get help from an adult nearby if it's getting really ugly. I would then tell her that she should comfort and talk to the "bullied" party and try to include them so that they have safety in numbers. Bullies and racists tend to pick on loners.
Apeface xx

PS: enquiring minds want to know where you chose to go on holibobs!
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:26, Reply)

No choice yet
as we've got plenty of time, but funnily enough she keeps going 'Can we go to Spain?'

All her mates keep telling her it's great :)

We might just end up 'round your way.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:29, Reply)

In a different but similar environment
I stood up and stopped a fight between two drunken people at a railway station (in a previous QOTW). I'd love to say that I'd do it again but not sure that I would.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 May 2009, 8:31, Reply)

Just out of interest....
What 'colour' are they? (I'm assuming your daughter in translucent?)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:05, Reply)

She didn't say.
She's always (a bit overly) careful describing someone's race. So no idea.

Out of curiousity... why?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:38, Reply)

Coloured.
Because the term ‘coloured’ (to me) implies that ‘white’ isn’t a colour, when speaking in this context.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Right.
How would you rather I put it?

Actually, no. That's a bit too politically correct for me. It's language. Deal with it.

No offence, like.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Laugh at them
Animals - those would be the ones making judgements based solely on appearance, right?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:48, Reply)

We're all Africans anyway.
I may visit my homeland before I die : )
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 May 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Ooh yes
I like this :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Anyone watching that programme about it on BBC 2 ?
It's very interesting.
( girlinthehole, Thu 21 May 2009, 10:15, Reply)

I wish I was
but I don't need any excuses to watch more tv.

That Dr Wossname pushes my groin-tingle button though.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:12, Reply)

Strange as it might sound
the friend-of-a-friend might not even realise that they're being racist: they might have grown up in a racist household, so that's how they're conditioned to think. If your daughter tells this person to their face that they're being racist, that might actually shock them into stopping it. If done in front of the mutual friend, that might humiliate the bully into stopping it, and reconsidering their attitude to others.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:01, Reply)

I did think this
I've seen kids whose parents are racist, and they become racist by default. Not all, but some.

It's a fair point, and I'll pass it on.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 11:15, Reply)