I'm going to have a really slow and dull afternoon today
any suggestions for how to liven it up?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:49, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

put bell end in light socket.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:51, Reply)

And...
...put a light bulb in your mouth and anus.

See if they light up.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:56, Reply)

or thread a fluro through the space between your ears
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Set your hair on fire,
Strip naked, punch a cop.
Start running, whilst wanking.
See if you can finish the job before you get arrested.
( Cawl, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:54, Reply)

mess about with this, but dont cheat
www.freerice.com/index.php
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:55, Reply)

managed level 45 without struggling. not too bad

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Soak a Mars bar in water for a few minutes
Roll some sweetcorn into the surface and rough it up a bit.

Leave it on your boss' desk.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 22 May 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Bonus points
if you walk in, pick it up and take a bite of it, Caddyshack style, when they shout.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:05, Reply)

Caddyshack!
My mate always answers when asked 'what do you do for a living?' with "What Bill does in Caddyshack"

Most people get confused, but the cool people get it.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Make a toilet roll periscope...
...hide under your desk and have this sample of a submarine sonar 'ping' looped.

www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=20223

If anyone asks what you are up to respond only in fake German giving name, rank and number.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:02, Reply)

this is a fantastic idea

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:10, Reply)

I second this.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Hmmm...
Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet
Bury all your clothes
Paint you left knee green
Extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet
Pretend your name is Keith

Any of the above
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:04, Reply)

already done that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Damn...
How about...
Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an eskimo
Eat a Renault Four with salami in your ears
Casserole your gran
Disembowel yourself with spears

Any of them?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:15, Reply)

Or alternatively
Push pineapple.
Shake the tree.
Grind coffee.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Do the monkey?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Mash some potato.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Do the smurf...
...and get funky.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Do the twist?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:38, Reply)

Aaaaaaaaaaaah

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:50, Reply)

FREAKOUT!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:57, Reply)

WIPEOUT!!
.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Invent a new letter for the alphabet
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:07, Reply)

Strip and run through the office with your pants on your head
screaming wibble is optional
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:18, Reply)

You've really got
a thing about underwear at the moment, Becky!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:20, Reply)

And why not?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, Reply)

Oh, I'm not complaining
Merely making an observation. :)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:20, Reply)

Stick two fingers up at the establishment
literally: Walk out to the front of the building and strike the pose.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:24, Reply)

That's given me
a truly hilarious mental image, if just for the sense of puerile defiance
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Pencils and erasers.
Stick a pencil in an eraser. Repeat. Perform impromptu dance with said implements while singing "Good Ship Lollipop" in a falsetto voice.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 22 May 2009, 12:28, Reply)

Imagine...
...you are spending the afternoon as an interpretive dancer. Make all actions and communications in a rhythmic manner without resorting to speech.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:34, Reply)

If you work in an office
1. Go to the cleaning cupboard and steal some Vim.

2. Chop a line in one of the traps in the men's toilets and leave it with a straw.

3. Have a quick spliff/pipe load while you are there.

4. Return to desk and play 'spot the nose-bleed'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:43, Reply)

Hahaha!
That's disgraceful! I must try it at once!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 May 2009, 12:51, Reply)

RAPE SOMETHING.
NOW.



_{AND HELP ME UNJAM THE CAPS LOCK KEY FROM MY KEYBOARD}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:25, Reply)

don't worry about it
caps lock is cruise control for awesome
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Isn't that
only on /talk?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Bless them
They think it makes them louder
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:34, Reply)

they are like a slightly retarded, ADHD having younger brother.


mostly annoying but you feel obliged to love them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Exactly: we can't blame them for being what they are
And it's cute when they try to join in.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)