I have just had to leave the office
This was because the twunt who got my job has just come back from a training course so that he can actually do the job, and he is boasting about the fact that he now knows some of the keyboard shortcuts for Excel.

WTF, he's only been using it for the last 10 years.

I went out, had a smoke, and a damn good laugh.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:16, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I know how to alt tab,
I'm awesome at internet technology.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:19, Reply)

alt-tab
is your friend.

Especially in a busy office.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Put araldite on his keyboard
that'll teach the smug cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:20, Reply)

But Al
You can see araldite, surely superglue would be much better.

Or how about some kind of contact poison?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Stick a massive spike
to his monitor. When he asks who did that, ram his face into it.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:29, Reply)

*snigger*
I admire the subtlety of your plan, Al :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Swap the keys around
so the top line spells "QUIERTWAT"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I think
I'll have to do that before I go.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:26, Reply)

My keyboard only has one 'T'

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:28, Reply)

Ah so it does
I'll do QUIERCUNT instead
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Damndamndamn
Clocked the lack of two 'E's, missed the T.

If you're leaving, you could leave him a 'cunt' instead...?

/Edit: Hooray!
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Britain's Got Talent?
Clearly fucking not.
Can't we shoot these people?
( thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I wish we could
I'd also settle for stabbing them in the eye!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Set up Macro's for all the common keyboard shortcuts
Alt + S should perform the following command:

shutdown.exe -s -f -t 05 -c "You thick twat"

Other can close Excel, insert text, change the formatting... if he really knows what he's doing he should be able to fix it.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 14:29, Reply)