I prevented someone from getting arrested yesterday
at considerable expense to myself. What nice but dumb things did you do yesterday? (Zero points plus a kicking to V if he uses my name as an answer.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:45, 64 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I got stupid tanlines that I thought would have faded by today into a reasonable tan
but no.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:46, Reply)

There are of course
two ways of preventing tanlines.

1 - Stay out of the sun, and remain pale (usually what I do, as I just burn anyway)
2 - Sunbathe naked

Your choice.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:01, Reply)

With my neighbours?
I had my MP3 player cranked up as loud as it would go and still heard them shouting stuff in Polish. Cunts.

Or my suncream could actually work properly and not cause me to go bright red. Stupid suncream
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:07, Reply)

They would probably shut up
if they were ogling your Bristols.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:08, Reply)

^this.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Tried that, they just got louder

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:39, Reply)

I went out for dinner with Gonz (the nice bit)
but I ate too much (the dumb bit).
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:48, Reply)

All da honiez like dinner with gonz !
I ended up getting some hagondaz on the way home =/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I wish I'd had room for icecream :(
Next time. And soon.
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Why would I use your name as an answer?
You don't fall under the category of nice. It'd just be dumb and 'orrible.
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:48, Reply)

This was just so you could let us all know
That you and V rutted like filthpigs yesterday.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Yeh, and if it was V you helped to not get arrested
then thanks for nothing, CHCB.
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:50, Reply)

It wasn't

( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Hang on a second
How did you know about this?
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Jesus Christ
It's practically dripping off everyone's screens, V.
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:55, Reply)

It's actually getting boring.

( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

*sigh*
Gaztime.
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

*receives gaz*
*is feeling told off*
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:59, Reply)

Ha!
*licks Clendrix*
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:02, Reply)

*punches V in friendly way*

( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

I'm genuinely happy for you dude
You haven't yet fallen prey to her vagina dentata.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:58, Reply)

Haha
You've mistaken my post but thanks anyway.
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:00, Reply)

"filthpigs"
suggests an element of excitement and satisfaction.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Or excrement
And squealing
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:53, Reply)

This sounds much more typical
Can't beat a good bit of scat.
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Flaunting your lust for each other mercilessly
wont someone please think of teh single b3tans...Oh wait, I have a date tonight...carry on :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:59, Reply)

=D
Important questions.

1) Is he/she/it hot?
2) Will you be putting out?
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:02, Reply)

Becky's hot.
Well. Too hot.
She looks like someone ironed tan-lines onto her using a ruler.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:03, Reply)

stop stalking me you cunt

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:08, Reply)

But...
I'm so good at it :(
( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Not when you admit to it fuckwad
you are fail.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:16, Reply)

I must say though,
I'm not impressed with your choice our attire today.
I hope you're gonna get changed for later.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:18, Reply)

choice our attire?
I'm not sharing clothes with you, specially not your stupid hat
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Oh god the hat

( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:21, Reply)

HAHAHA!
Man, I love that hat.
I can't wear it at work though.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:23, Reply)

Meh, typo.

( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:23, Reply)

"Of course"
is the answer to both.
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:04, Reply)

He is very hot
No I wont...tonight.

No he's not a b3tan
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Not a b3tan?
Dear god woman, what's going on?
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Well the last few just weren't a good idea
so I'm on a b3ta dating strike.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Not being a b3tan is probably for the best
I found out the hard way =[
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Hey
You groped MY cock.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:12, Reply)

It was very hard though!

( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:13, Reply)

And you fucking loved it you slaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:13, Reply)

You're not wrong

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:18, Reply)

fuck you, cupcake.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:13, Reply)

You already did
Wish you hadn't though...stupid blood.
( Captain V, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:15, Reply)

I went and sat in the field to practice guitar
Last night, so I wouldn't disturb everyone.
But I got bit in the face by some insect. Dammit.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 10:51, Reply)

I got back from the pub last night and instead of going to bed like a good little boy
I stayed up 'till 2am drinking beer and watching series 3 of Lost.

I hate being hungover and I hate work. I am now combining the 2.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:06, Reply)

*points*
*laughs*
We're having alcohol for lunch today.
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Liquid lunch eh?
Afternoon hangover eh?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:11, Reply)

I have never had a hangover in my life
and this despite my very best efforts.
*smugs*
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:15, Reply)

I'm going to destroy you
with booze

at the first opportunity
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Believe me,
I've tried.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:17, Reply)

He's right.
So many have tried and failed and I've been slumped unconscious at the end of the night on more than one occasion, only to be up a few hours later making breakfast.

Hurrah for the genes of Alcoholic Nan.
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:22, Reply)

you clearly aren't drinking the right stuff
what you need is 4 pints of stella followed by another 4 pints each used to wash down 2 shots of sambuca
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Done it all, Vips.
Give it up. I do get drunk, btw. Just no hangovers and I'm OK with that.
:)
( thealternativefact, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:35, Reply)

I'm just hugely envious
I don't really drink much these days though, so hangovers aren't really an issue for me either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Yep.
I'll vouch the truth in this.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:27, Reply)

That's probably why I get bad hangovers
I'm making up for all the lucky bastards that dont get them
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:20, Reply)

I'll just add myself to that list then
of people who never get hangovers
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:22, Reply)

*Shakes fist*
why-eye-oughta...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Same here
It's a blessing.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:28, Reply)

I don't get hangovers
But I also don't drink sambuca anymore because it makes I forget...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 24 Jun 2009, 11:38, Reply)