Let's see
Installed Vista on a really nasty laptop
Bought a brand new sofa
Fitted kitchen cabinets
Completed Tomb Raider 3
Given Mrs SLVA a facial
Mended a lawn mower
Laid a wooden floor
Cooked chilli from scratch rather than using a jar of sauce
Plumbed in a dishwasher

All since 7:30am this morning within the last 3 months or so.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:16, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Why on earth would you buy sauce to make chilli?
and was it a proper wooden floor, or that shitty click laminate stuff.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:17, Reply)

What are you?
The lovechild of Nigella and HandyAndy?
(Flid James carry on, mongs, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:21, Reply)

I do despair
when being able to make chilli, one of the worlds simplest dishes, is considered to be the realm of a professional cook by stupid people on the internet.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Nigella a professional cook?
You don't set your standards very high do you?
(Flid James carry on, mongs, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:26, Reply)

I'd kinda like
To try and milk her though.
( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:27, Reply)

To make cheese?

(Flid James carry on, mongs, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Of course.
In the name of Culinary Science.
Not gratification.
( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:30, Reply)

Is cat cheese scientific, culinary or just wrong?

( thealternativefact, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:38, Reply)

It's more wrong
than your outrageous racism
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Whoa there!
You're gonna create some kinda instability-vortex.
I dunno what kind. They all look the same.
( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:46, Reply)

She gets paid to cook
ergo, she is a professional cook. My standards have nothing to do with it. Though her Nu Yoik Lemon Cheesecake is quite superb.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Glad to have provoked a suitably middle-class response there.
Now I'm off to do something professional.
(Flid James carry on, mongs, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:36, Reply)

I love people that think middle class is an insult

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:41, Reply)

Haaaaaaaahahahaha
I think he was just saying that it suits you because you're middle class.
Which you are.
I, on the other hand, am upper class.
( thealternativefact, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:43, Reply)

You always use an embroided hanky to wipe your face after a Bukkake session

(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Don't be stupid.
Her maid wipes her down.
( Cawl, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:46, Reply)

I always wondered
why there was another woman hanging around the whole time.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:47, Reply)

How very dare you!
I don't wipe my face.
He licks it off.
( thealternativefact, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:48, Reply)

I know my place

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:48, Reply)

New money people
like my sister-in-law think that middle-class is an accolade to be proud of. She is a snooty and snobby cow though and for some reason she's bought a big house in Filey which is far too hilly for her other half who is at death's door with a dicky ticker.

Still, it gives her something to show off I suppose.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Well not always a jar
sometimes that powder stuff in a packet that you mix with water and a can of tomatoes and then tip into the pan of frying mince.

And yes it fucking well is a proper wooden floor too, and I make a point of telling everyone who visits and says "ooh, you've got one of those laminate floors".

and I think I knackered my car's suspension bringing it home.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:35, Reply)

That's impressive
I discovered that you can fit over 15 square metres of loft boards in a peugeot 106. It didn't do the suspension any good.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Mind you
going to collect god knows how many boxes of bathroom tiles, tubs of adhesive and bags of grout a few days later probably didn't help either.

The boot was full of tiles, the back seats and the passenger footwell.

I managed to get a bathroom door in the back of the Laguna, but I had to move my seat forward so I drove like a praying mantis... Praying that I didn't run into the back of something and be decapitated like something from Final Destination.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Is that facial as in "Here we are, darling, let me rub this cream into your visage"
or you just spunked on her chops?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Aren't they one and the same?

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 25 Jun 2009, 11:36, Reply)