An outstanding battle
is taking place on this weekds QOTW for 1st and 2nd place:

www.b3ta.com/questions/tramps/all

I've not won anything for years, please help me win - just once!
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:02, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I clicked it for you,
couldn't be arsed to read it though.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:03, Reply)

I clicked the other one.
I like balance.
( thealternativefact, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)

To be fair
The other one is much better
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)

Actually Spikey,
I didn't really. That top one is smug and preachy and I don't like it. Good luck.
( thealternativefact, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:06, Reply)

Thank you :0)
I feel a bit gimpy begging for votes but fuck it, I want to be a winner for once in my life.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:05, Reply)

I voted for the other one.
MTFU.
( Cawl, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:06, Reply)

You're a vote slag though.
You're always pimping on here and you'll click anything.
( thealternativefact, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:07, Reply)

So?

( Cawl, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:09, Reply)

Doesn't mean you can't do it.
Just that your MTFU instruction is hypocritical and you should STFU.
And when you've won before, you've gone on about it for DAYS.
( thealternativefact, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:12, Reply)

So?

( Cawl, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:13, Reply)

Oh dear...

( thealternativefact, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:14, Reply)

There's one rule for me,
And a whole lot for everyone else.
( Cawl, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:14, Reply)

is the rule for you
don't go out during the day?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Most certainly not.
I've got sunglasses.
( Cawl, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)

And only ever talk in the mother tongue of Russian

(Bazongaloid, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:24, Reply)

I just can't believe that joke that browser posted is on the best of page
it's dire. just because a joke is really long and builds up well doesn't mean that a fucking awful punchline can be overlooked.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:07, Reply)

Is that the Ho Bow one?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:15, Reply)

no
the one about a tramp on a cruise ship
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:19, Reply)

That Ho Bow one's mine you cunt.
It isn't long and it's fucking brilliant only slightly shit.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:37, Reply)

Oh bollocks, I clicked yours without realising you wrote it
Is there anyway to unclick and give your vote to the other story?

Kidding ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:20, Reply)

I've given you my vote, but I hope you know, if you now win, it'll be a hollow victory.
To be honest, I should'nt be given a vote on here, if I'm going to pimp it out like some kind of prostertute to whoever asks for it. I don't have the time to dedicate to read all the enterys, and I am friends with some people who post on there. There are hundreds of thousands of people who read the newsletter and the front page, and the responciblity of who wins lays firmly with my vote. I can't take that sort of pressure. So many people are counting on me, and I just give away my vote !

I didn't even read it, and I don't feel your party's values reflect my upbringing eaither.

I wish to appologize to everyone for what I've done.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:36, Reply)

It's still a victory though :0)

( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:37, Reply)

They'll only let you have it so you can hang by your own words, Mr Griffin.
Can you give me the jyst of the story, just in case the media ask me who I voted for on my way out.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Here you go
Met a homeless chap when at uni
Gave his mrs my gloves.
Gave them coffee and fags in the morning.
She moved to London, he moved to hostel
See him a year or so later and he buys me beer and says thanks.
I cry
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:41, Reply)

What am I doing inside this bloody great nutshell?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Oooohh.
Pretend I'm trolling you because of that here, I'm not sure what stance to take, the "Releaving guilt of you having a relativly cushy life by giving away some old tat you don't use... with extra points for all those donner kababs you've binned." or the "Fags and Coffee will only releave them of their hunger for so long, would a tenner be so hard?" or a "Cried? Faakin' poof, innit." one.

Eaither way, I don't mind if I'm going to be honest.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Actually, no, you did a good thing, more people should do that.
I reguarly buy the big issue guy outside Marks'n'Sparks some dinner.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:48, Reply)

I don't buy it coz it's shit
I give the local seller the occasional coffee and a bit of grub instead
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Pimping for votes?
This never would have happened when I was Queen of QOTW. The sooner catface and I have a blazing break up and spend hours leaving passive aggressive messages on Off Topic blaming each other, then the sooner I'll get back over there to answer some serious, proper as-laid-down-by-the-mods questions and rescue it from teh shit it has become.

Pimping for votes on Off Topic! I'm surprised becky allows this.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 11:47, Reply)

It'll happen sooner or later
besides, I'm bequeathing my crown to someone else soon, have to decide on a successor
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 12:19, Reply)

you should do one of those X-factor style shows.
OT's Got Talent, or some such shit. We could vote for who gets a kicking.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 12:20, Reply)

This^^
But anyway, vote for my Ho Bow pun. You know it's for the best.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 9 Jul 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Fuck off with your nice happy ending stories
At least mine in 3rd place is mildly mirthsome.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 9 Jul 2009, 13:24, Reply)