Wanker at the Grace jones concert
Care for gig review cleverly disguised as a rant?
(MyFakeName, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 2:43, 10 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

TL/DR at the bottom
Apologies in advanced for length & general rantyness.

I just got back from seeing Grace Jones at Somerset House & it was fucking brilliant. She is just incredible. I'd always considered myself more of a casual fan of hers but I think that's just changed.


However, I digest.

My friend is a massive Grace Jones fanboy & we work 2 minutes walk from Somerset House so we were there stupid early, doors were at 7.30 & we were there by half 6. Doors end up opening at 7.45 & we stroll to the very front & centre. I didn't want to go right at the barrier so let a couple of people in front of me & was perfectly happy a row or two back chatting to a few people around me. Including a couple who I'd guess were in their late 30s. He is continually taking calls on his mobile to which his wife/girlfriend is obviously not that chuffed with. Anyway, I'm chatting to her about nothing & then the show starts.

All is going swimmingly... having a little dance, joining in on the chorus, all that good stuff. A costume change for every song & general good vibes.
As I said, we were down the front so space is in relatively short supply but there's enough for everyone to get a little bit of a funky shake on. Everyone except the guy behind me that is. I felt him push me a few times but assumed it was just general crowd movement so I ignored it & carried on enjoying the show. As it progressed the pushing continued until I half turned around to see it was the guy from earlier with the phone. He waved an apologly to me & I waved him a 'no problem mate'. I figured that was the end of it.

It wasn't.

The pushing continued.

At this point I feel like I should clarify something. I have been going to gigs for many years. My first was (a little shamefully) Chris De Burgh with my parents when I was 6. In my teens I was going to gigs pretty much weekly. I have been in many mosh pits at all kind of venues & on loads of overcrowded dancefloors. I've seen dance acts in big fields & solo artists in basements that hold 50 people. I've even been caught in a riot or two (they weren't so much fun though). The point is that I like to think I have an fairly good understanding of crowd etiquette & can tell the difference between a gentle 'steady there fella' nudge, the 'scuse me, coming through' duck & weave or the 'fuck you' shove.

Back to the show.

So... more songs & more pushing - I can tell it's not accidental but the last thing I want to do is cause a scene at a Grace Jones gig so I try to nice. I turn around to the guy & politely ask him if he can try & stop pushing me. He immediately gets aggressive & slurs something at me about 'being in his fucking way' or something. I try to be cool with him & just laugh it off by saying 'sorry mate, it's a bit crowded here innit?' or something along those lines & get back to the show.
Sure enough, it carries on so I turn around a bit angry now & say 'c'mon mate, don't be a twat, it's crowded here, if you don't like it maybe you shouldn't be at the front? Just be cool man'. More slurring from him.

So, one last time I try to get back into the show. Thankfully, that part was easy. She really was top draw. The band strike up a wicked sweet version of 'Pull up to the bumper' & all is well. There were some confetti launchers at the side of the stage & they went off, I looked up to see shiny gold ribbon. Awesome! That was when he pushed me again. I spun round, proper angry now I screamed at him 'WHAT'S YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM? STOP FUCKING PUSHING ME & JUST BE COOL. OK?' he mumbled something about me being in his fucking way again so I just carried on shouting at him about that I'd move if I could, there's no space at the front, would he prefer I trampled the tiny Japanese girl in front of me, all that kind of stuff.


He didn't push me anymore but I could hear him bitching to his lady about me the rest of the gig. Can't say I heard much in the way of agreement form her though. I think he was just pissed at me because I was chatting to his missus before the show & I don't think he enjoyed the verbal bitch slapping I gave him either. Maybe he was just pissed off because I was having a better time than him? I dunno... I guess my height is probably a pain in the arse if you're behind me but I can't do anything about that & there's no way I'm going to a Grace Jones gig & not having at least a little dance.


What's really strange is that this kind of thing is totally out of character for me. I'm not so good at the fighting you see. Poet not a warrior, lover not a fighter blah blah blah.
He was quite a big guy as well! I don't know what I was thinking. He had that private school, rugby fan, probably partly responsible for the credit crunch kind of vibe about him. He could've flattened me if he wanted to.

What's even stranger is that I've rarely seen this kind of behaviour at any of the shows where you might expect it. So to see it at a show that was so... flamboyant was just baffling.

I don't understand why people deliberately go out of their comfort zone & then bitch about it?


Anyway, I guess all that really matters is that it was a wicked evening apart from that little blemish. Oh well, no big deal & I just wanted to vent. Goodnight.



TL/DR?
Some guy didn't like that I was having a good time, I had to shout at him.
(MyFakeName, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 2:44, Reply)

I like this
welcome to b3ta and write lots more please

kthxbai
( chart cat has an itch, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 7:48, Reply)

Oooo! I love Grace Jones.
*is jealous*


No matter what you do, your bound to bump into the odd twat here and there.
( girlinthehole, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 8:33, Reply)

Exactly.
There's only so much you can do to avoid bumping into people in a crowd innit.
(MyFakeName, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 13:01, Reply)

You digest?
Did you eat Grace Jones?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 8:32, Reply)

I was going to comment on that
but I got distracted :-(
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 8:37, Reply)

It's a Simpsons reference
You should both be ashamed of yourselves.
(MyFakeName, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 13:03, Reply)

Gigs
They seem to be an unusual place. People who will be polite and friendly if you pass them in the street, will automatically turn into arseholes as soon as they get inside. I find that the people who others avoid in the street are much more fun to go to gigs with.

For example -

I went to see Disturbed, the 'heavy' band of the nu-metal scene, and ended up nearly getting into about 5 fights, was ridiculous. Not really something you want at your first gig.

A few years later I went to see Napalm Death (and a few others), and the camaraderie was much greater, we were sharing beers, outside people were sharing spliffs, I saw at least one guy buy about 10 burgers, then wander round giving them to people who looked like they needed them most.

Just seems odd to me, pseudo-heavy gig, bunch of arseholes.
Actual heavy gig, friendliest people in the world.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 9:01, Reply)

I hear that
the friendliest mosh pit I was ever in was for Tool.
(MyFakeName, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Sorry love I missed this earlier
He sounds like an utter cuntwomble, mightily pleased you stood up to him though.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 10 Jul 2009, 18:20, Reply)