Now then
there's an awful lot of what looks suspiciously like seriousness on here at the moment. This will not be tolerated.
I know that most of you are socially-inept, semi-retards, who have a job seperating truth from fiction, but come on, buck your ideas up. This is b3ta, bile-inducing sweetness and good-natured yet extreme nastiness can coexist here.

today's question: why don't you fuck off?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:42, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Because I love you
Now let me back in the house darling, please? I'll be good, I promise! I'll even iron the socks and polish the cat.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:44, Reply)

because your mum begged me to stay just a little bit longer.
Well that and I kinda lost my housekey. :(
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:45, Reply)

yeah, she'll do that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:50, Reply)

she only wanted me to try her cooking.
it were yummy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:53, Reply)

my mum's cooking is the greatest
it is true
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:56, Reply)

ohhhhhhhhhh I dunno
My dad's cooking is pretty damn nice. And Mum's quiche is the best ever. It is undeniable.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:09, Reply)

Because without you I'm only me.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:46, Reply)

I like what you did there
bonus points if you can name the song
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:49, Reply)

Not without google.
Care to enlighten me?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:54, Reply)

aha! accidental lyricism.
Love it. :p
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:55, Reply)

Faith No More
Midlife Crisis

"you're perfect, yes it's true, but without me you're only you"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:57, Reply)

I was just reading up on
The background to Land Of Sunshine.
Interesting way of writing a song:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Land_of_Sunshine
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:29, Reply)

that is interesting
I need to get me a copy of angel dust. midlife crisis is probably among my favourite songs

also, tried to go to the cinema last night. got there at 8:15 to see the hangover to find that every fucking film was full until harry potter at 11:20. how shit is that?!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:32, Reply)

Very shit
I enjoyed the Hangover immensely when I saw it.

Also, FNM are amazing; anyone see them this year?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Yes!
Download.
They were fucking awesome.

EDIT: So, how WAS Harry Potter, Mr. V?
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:41, Reply)

didn't see it :-P
went and got caned instead

also: bastard :-P

saw Mike Patton (can't remember which band) at Roskilde a number of years ago. They were shit unfortunately. My mate and I were gutted, because we both love FNM
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Maybe when he was fronting
The Dillinger Escape Plan. They weren't great.
( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:44, Reply)

it wasn't them
but I saw them supporting SOAD. They were the worst band I have ever seen. I incited the crowd to boo them.
seriously, the best part of their set (apart from when they left the stage) was when the guitarist fell over, and on getting up dropped his guitar.

the twat.

fuck they were bad.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:46, Reply)

Because this is the only place I feel loved : (
Validate me please.
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:48, Reply)

/validates
better?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:49, Reply)

*validates hard*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:49, Reply)

/validates harder then noel!
:P
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:52, Reply)

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!
*Lets the warm love of B3ta wash over her*
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:55, Reply)

If you want to call it "love", fine
I didn't realise that love was so yellow though.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:56, Reply)

Oh crap.
It's not supposed to be yellow??
/pales
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:56, Reply)

*provides nourishing validation*

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:57, Reply)

cos i've got to get off to work...
oh, um, right...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 8:50, Reply)

Simple
I have nothing better to do!

EDIT: You slavering, pus filled, distendend cunt of a man.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:02, Reply)

I here to make everyone else miserable.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:11, Reply)

You don't make me miserable.
wait. I'm not supposed to admit that am I? Am I supposed to wobble at you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:13, Reply)

Everyone secretly loves me,

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:15, Reply)

even himjim, whoever that is

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:19, Reply)

maybe he's doing that schoolyard thing,
y'know - where you're real mean and nasty to those you have a huge ginormous crush on and who you want to stick your willy in.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:22, Reply)

I think that's probably right,

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:26, Reply)

You're right.
I love you.

My secret is out.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:22, Reply)

He makes everyone
miserable.

End of.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Because I make the world a better place.

( Cawl, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:22, Reply)

In order to do that
Take a look a yourself and make that change

na na na, na na na, na na na na, na na naaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Because, quite frankly, I dont bleeding want to!
I like it here

*shoves feet firmly under the table*
*nails feet to floor*
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:22, Reply)

ahhh silly boy
/puts ice over feet to stop swelling.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:24, Reply)

Ahhhh
Thats much better
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I've tried...
..however a tear in subspace results in a temporal causality loop which always brings me back here.
( HSDriver was probably still at work on, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:23, Reply)

I can't live
if living is without you.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:31, Reply)

I can't live.
I can't give anymore.
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:32, Reply)

This is stuck in my head now
/shoots self in foot
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:34, Reply)

It's not enough!
*shoots self in head*

*misses*

Fuck.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 16 Jul 2009, 9:37, Reply)