Say you died, right
You go to heaven and you get to ask God one question... What would it be?


I'd go for "what you been up to the last 2000 years then?"
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:40, 50 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

'can I have two questions?'

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:42, Reply)

No
Next
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:44, Reply)

you're not god
FINE

'Can I still have sex?'
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:49, Reply)

or should that be 'can I still have orgasms?' ?
*sigh*

I just don't know
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:51, Reply)

Haha no i'm not... yet
But thats what he'd (it'd?) say I can imagine
(Is this a good idea? ... Yes this is definitely a good idea, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:51, Reply)

"Only if your husband has died and is here"

( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:51, Reply)

D:
I don't have a husband :((((
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Exactly.
So you won't go to Heaven, as you're an awful sinner.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:55, Reply)

but he said...I thought...
gutted
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:58, Reply)

What the fuck am I doing here?
I had an appointment downstairs.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:42, Reply)

You're stuck in a paradox
Heaven would be hell to you and you need to be sent to hell which is like heaven to you.
( Captain V, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:57, Reply)

They'd end up agreeing to disagree,
And send me back here.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:58, Reply)

No
They'd send you to pluto. It isn't even a real planet.
( Captain V, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:00, Reply)

I'd be The King Of The World then.
This is awesome news.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Why did he mistreat his son?
Or


Is Jade Goody really with the angels?
( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:44, Reply)

Can you do THAT pre-cum thing?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:48, Reply)

Big Mac meal and coke please

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:50, Reply)

Just what the hell is your problem with the shrimp, then?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:55, Reply)

Best. Superhero. Ever.

( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:55, Reply)

Eh?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:09, Reply)

The Shrimp!
The World's Least Effective Satanist Superhero.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:12, Reply)

He's only the 43rd worst superhero overall though,
according to Uncyclopedia.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Oi Yaweh, ya cunt,
where's my fuckin' bike?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Al's having sex with it.

( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Oh, not again.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:03, Reply)

"That was great ...
... can I have another go Dad?"
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:02, Reply)

I have a query on the design of women.
Why wait till they're middle-aged and then give them raging libidos?

What's that all about hey?
( girlinthehole, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:03, Reply)

if I'm horny all the time now....I hate to see myself in twenty years

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:04, Reply)

You might be dead.
*shrugs*
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:04, Reply)

very very true

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Live each day
Like you're gonna die tomorrow.
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:08, Reply)

are you trying to tell me something?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Yeah.
Why did you fuck that goat?
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:10, Reply)

that's not telling, that's asking
hang on.....how'd you....are you following me?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Yes I am.

( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:13, Reply)

oh
:|
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:14, Reply)

And there's nothing you can do about it.

( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:16, Reply)

:/
maybe I'll invite you in, eh?
ha
totally threw you off there, right?
you'll want to stop now, eh?
haha totally got you there *wipes forehead*
*whistles awkwardly*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Also,
Why did you throw a perfectly good box of cornflakes in the bin?
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:20, Reply)

now THAT I've no answer for
in fact
I don't eat cereal
ever
perhaps you've got the wrong house
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:20, Reply)

This is terrible news.
You mean you're not a tiny Mexican man with a foot-fetish?
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:22, Reply)

well....at least two of those are correct

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:50, Reply)

What do I have to do to be as almighty as you?
or 'Can I have your job please'
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Given that God is infinite, and that the universe is also infinite
Would you like a toasted tea-cake?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:14, Reply)

so, letting me back in after all this time eh?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:41, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post488010
( Cawl, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:45, Reply)

*chortle*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:57, Reply)

I'll just ask "Why?"
And when he says "Why what?" I'll say "You know, you cunt. Why?"
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 22 Jul 2009, 16:47, Reply)

Oh fuck! You exist then?
You weren't being serious about those commandments and stuff right? I'm just asking because of that whole Coveting thy neighbors donkey thing, look, it was just that one weekend in TJ, does that really count as coveting?
(bill, Wed 22 Jul 2009, 22:04, Reply)