Right.
Gwyneth Paltrow. I do not fancy her. But dye her hair ginger and call her Pepper Pots and GrrrRrrrr! /testosterone
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:11, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd test your osterone.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:11, Reply)

I'd Oster your Testes.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:13, Reply)

I'd tetch your otters

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:14, Reply)

I'd root your toes

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:16, Reply)

Would you two just fuck already please?
Time's running out for both of you
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:19, Reply)

We can't.
It'd be like meeting your idols, we'd both end up disappointed.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

Well, I would
you'd have a fucking amazing time.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:21, Reply)

If you were less arrogant and more of a considerate lover
then maybe I would. But it's a quick finger up the bum, then WHAM WHAM WHAM and a warm sticky feeling. And then a wobbly walk home.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:24, Reply)

I just get so angry after I finger your bum
I can't help but punch you three times in the nose and leave you to make your own way home. It's your filthy homo nature. It disgusts me.

But at the same time I love it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

I'm reporting you to Stonewall
you horrible violent homophobe. SEXY.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:30, Reply)

I'm deporting you to stonehenge
so you can sit among the big stones and think about what you did
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:38, Reply)

I'm stoning you with deportment.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:39, Reply)

I have fabulous deportment skills thank you.
I just choose to act like a twat so you lot don't think I'm a snob at bashes. Really I'm looking down my nose at you all thinking WHY?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:43, Reply)

That's nothing
my driver takes me to bashes in a Bently, I change out of my standard top hat and tails and put on some jeans and other clothes I borrow from the gardener and then glue on some false stubble to make you think i'm lower class.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:45, Reply)

That's FAR TOO DESCRIPTIVE for it not to be true

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Like that time you violated me with a green banana and half a pound of pickled swan meat.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:30, Reply)

That definitely happened
I remember the call I got from your mrs afterwards.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:32, Reply)

Yeah, she was wondering what the smell was

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Not necessarily
I did, did him, wasn't disappointed
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

Bert was your idol?
Wow, you're more fucked up than I thought.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:28, Reply)

Hahahahahhahaha. No
Cunt
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:34, Reply)

You are Robert Downey Jr
AICMFP!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:12, Reply)

If he was
Then his Mrs wouldn't be getting him next weekend. He'd be locked in my understairs cupboard.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:13, Reply)

I'd get out.
Master of escapology, me. Hence why I type this now.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Why
did she leave you handcuffed to the bedposts earlier?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:15, Reply)

Why?
Because I CAN HAZ BEEN NAWTY.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:19, Reply)

Does she beat you with her rubber truncheon?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

She shoots me with rubber bullets.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:22, Reply)

From her well toned vag?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:23, Reply)

I... I have no response.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:24, Reply)

I had that exact same reaction
It really does leave you speechless doesn't it. Especially when she's dressed as a bee.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:25, Reply)

HAHA
Stalker!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

errrrr, yeah
yeah, that's exactly why I know.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Bullshit. He'd be tied to my bed

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:18, Reply)

I Wish.
Man, the guy is brilliant.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Especially
when he's wearing metal underpants. Eh?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:17, Reply)

EH?
Yes. I love Iron Man
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:18, Reply)

I can't wait for teh sequel
Black Widow? That'll do.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

Whiplash.
With Mickey Rourke playing him.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:20, Reply)

Like, WTF?
Also, Avengers!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:21, Reply)

But Thor!?
shit character
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:22, Reply)

Tru Dat

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:23, Reply)

Needs moar Sam Jackson as Nick Fury.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:23, Reply)

HULK SMASH!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:25, Reply)

Nick Fury wasn't black originally
But Marvel reinvented him in the Ultimates series and took their inspiration from Samuel L Jackson.

It's almost as if the film makers knew... spooky.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:26, Reply)

Sam Jackson
is twenty kinds of aweseome.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:27, Reply)

He's the only Jedi
to have had a purple lghtsaber too.

God I'm starting to get pissed, my fingers won't type properly...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:29, Reply)

That's Parkinson's for you.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:31, Reply)

Pffffft!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:32, Reply)

Nah, young people get that too
You're thinking of Raynaud's disease.

Could be Lupus of course
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:34, Reply)

Is you calling me old?
cos you'd be more or less right
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:36, Reply)

Maybes
It's ok. I'm old too :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:38, Reply)

You're not old
You're just less young than you used to be. Like meself.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:47, Reply)

pfft, we're old. Accept it and embrace it
speaking of which, I've been up since 5am and have worked my first five day week in 8 months. I'm officially tired. Night x
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:50, Reply)

TRU DAT
Parkinson's Disease is a bastard. I've just had Tom Cruise and Billy Connolly in all night talking about their new book/film/stand-up show.

Bastards have drunk all me coffee.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:34, Reply)

Oof!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Pffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!!!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Fail

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 14 Aug 2009, 23:39, Reply)