Some things made a good start this weekend:
Tottenham
Daylight Lies
Al's car

So to celebrate this, have a thread of crap.
( thealternativefact, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:40, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have nothing to add. Entertain yourselves.
I'm going out for a smoke.
( thealternativefact, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Thread of crap?
HAM IS KILLING OUR CHILDRENZ!
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8202188.stm
( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Sod that.
I'll eat apples and exercise and stop smoking and then the magnetic field will weaken and we'll all get cancer anyway and I won't have had any fun.
*eats ham sandwich*
( thealternativefact, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:48, Reply)

what a load of bollocks
smoked, salted and cured meats are awesome. you don't see the italians dying all over the place due to that sort of thing and they love it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Indeed
I think it's more a case that people who are fat, uneducated, inactive, drink to excess, smoke to excess and are unhealthy, generally eat more processed meats.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:52, Reply)

yeah
so they need to ban those people, rather than the meats.

my diet is rich in meat, booze and spliffs and I'm perfectly healthy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:54, Reply)

I think you'll find that your smug pressure is off the charts

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:03, Reply)

it's ok
I've got the smug glands to deal with it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:04, Reply)

It must be devilled ham
Badumtish.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:06, Reply)

Pffft!

( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:12, Reply)

Good start to the week -
Celtic!
Didn't touch a drop of booze so am uncharacteristically fresh for a Monday...
Went out a run last night! Health kick is on!

That's about it. Didn't get any decent action 'cos she's on 'blob...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 11:54, Reply)

My car has got better at starting over the years.
When I first bought it it used to cough and die unless I revved it for a few minutes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:04, Reply)

What's your car then?
I missed it!
( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:10, Reply)

It's a dirty white Pug 106

(Bazongaloid, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:24, Reply)

More crap:
The MD just came in, ranting about how he was gonna have to start making people redundant, as the wage bill is too high.
After a few minutes of that, he said "Anyway, I need to go, I'm interviewing for a new Sales Manager now".
You couldn't make this shit up :\
( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:07, Reply)

That is terrible banter from the MD
Alan Partridge-esque!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Yeah, he's a clueless knob-end.

( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:10, Reply)

He could always reduce his own wage
but then that would be an un-cuntish thing to do
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 12:26, Reply)

did
you all point and laugh at him for spouting such shite?
( ascorbate, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Only once he'd left the office.
Don't really wanna get fired.
( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 13:39, Reply)

fair enough
actually, just bitching about it on here is probably enough.
( ascorbate, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 13:47, Reply)

*nods*
Although, having seen the girl he was interviewing, and his disgusting flirting, we've decided that he's trying to trade in his trophy wife for a younger model.
( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 13:49, Reply)