Transplants
Kidney transplants from living donors are no big news. But I recently learned that there are 40 living people in the world who've been heart donors. (Explanation in replies...)

This impressed me somewhat.

What have you learned recently?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:07, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

...

This explains NOTHING.
( Cawl, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:08, Reply)

*takes notes*
have you listened to that thing yet?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:12, Reply)

That thing?
The Lauryn Hill song? Frankly, I think it's awful.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:13, Reply)

I've now got that running round my head.
Thank you.

You jizzgargler.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:18, Reply)

this makes me glad I don't know the song he is on about

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:18, Reply)

That thing, that thing
that thi-i-i-ing

Repeat ad infitum
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:19, Reply)

nope
doesn't ring any bells
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Just keep reading my post repeatedly
You'll get the idea
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:21, Reply)

Apologies in advance...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMRiudMgHCs
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:23, Reply)

You're an evil, evil man

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:23, Reply)

No. Evil would be this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMRiudfdg4
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:27, Reply)

I was about to say the same thing!
You're a clever man, Mr Enzyme, may all your spaghetti hoops be unbroken.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:29, Reply)

*glees*
I'm going to be using the spaghetti hoops thing myself. As benedictions go, it's one of the best I've ever seen!
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:32, Reply)

for once
not being able to watch youtube stuff at work pays off!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:31, Reply)

jizzlobber
A much better song to have in your head
( djtrialprice, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:18, Reply)

This is true.
My copy of Angel Dust is reaching the end of its natural life...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)

You love it

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:19, Reply)

too slow

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Meh.
Should really have had it ready to copy and paste, shouldn't I?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:10, Reply)

Here's the science.
I don't know why, but a heart-lung transplant is more likely to be successful than a lung transplant alone.

So... imagine three people: A, B and C. A needs a heart transplant. B has diseased lungs but a healthy heart, so needs lungs but will get a new heart anyway as part of the deal. C is a tissue-match for B, is healthy, and has recently been hit by a bus.

You take the heart and lungs from C and put them into B, and remove the healthy heart from B and put it into A. Hence B is not only a heart donor, but a heart donor who can talk about it afterwards.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:10, Reply)

Everybody wins
Except the dead one.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Heart lung transplants are better because you have to less cutting and stitching.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:13, Reply)

Is it really that simple?
Blimey.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Well half of the hearts job is to send stuff to and from the lungs,
if that whole system is in place without having to stitch it together then that's a bonus.
Also tissue rejection will start where the implanted organs is attached to the host organs, less links the better.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:19, Reply)

Makes sense to me.
The "blimey" was indicative of one of those forehead-slapping moments.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)

I know someone who had a heart transplant.
It came from a 17 year old girl.
Sad times.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:14, Reply)

Was she fit
and where's she buried?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:16, Reply)

I don't know
and
I don't know
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:16, Reply)

You're pointless

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:18, Reply)

I could probably point out a couple hotties that I know that died.
If that helps.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:19, Reply)

That'll do
which way to the cemetery?

Unless they were cremated, in which case, megahappyfuntiem!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)

over the river and through the woods

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:23, Reply)

To be honest, I was hoping you'd say they were cremated
and their ashes were scattered to the wind, that way I could just open up a window and fuck the world, safe in the knowledge that they'd be getting a portion too.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:28, Reply)

stop, you're getting me all hawt

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Depends on your perspective.
A transplant means one person dead instead of two.

Unless you dislike the person who received the transplant, in which case you're right: it's a real shame.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:16, Reply)

I'm indifferent, I only know who he is, he's not a friend or anything.
I'm just thinking it's sad that she died at 17 and he's 50 some odd years and gets her heart.
It's like 10,000 spoons when you need a knife, or something.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:18, Reply)

ARGH!
Bert put that Lauryn Hill song into my head, and now you've eclipsed it with the Morrissette creature.

Today is just getting worse and worse.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:19, Reply)

It could always get worse
like when a song gets stuck in your head and it's like it's never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:23, Reply)

I like what you've done there
*handshakes*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Or that song by Uranus Moreface?

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:19, Reply)

do you think
they can do a 'cock and balls' transplant?

i hope so , so i can offload this monster onto someone else and maybe get something a bit more manageable in return



SQUIRT
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:18, Reply)

al says the same thing
about his gargantuan ass
( djtrialprice, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Yes, it's called a Strapadichtomey

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)

thats a
bernard manning joke, and i claim my £5

still funny though
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:25, Reply)

No no no,
my cock's the biggest.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Is it?
*waggles eyebrows and licks lips*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:22, Reply)

*licks eyebrows*
*and waggles lips to make that comedy "BRRRRRRP!" sound*
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:28, Reply)

*wipes arse*
*smears on face*

*belms*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:29, Reply)

*shits*
*moulds into cock shape*
*freezes it*
*rapes without discretion*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:33, Reply)

*joins in*
*rapes with this cretin*
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:36, Reply)

When I die they can harvest whatever they like from my usless piece of shit body.
Apart from my spleen. I've become quite fond of it.
( girlinthehole, Tue 25 Aug 2009, 15:54, Reply)