That's me posting below as Captain V, that is.
I know it may look like him, but I'm about 6 foot taller and have a bigger cock. And he's somewhere on the M4 right now.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 5:52, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You didn't drive him to a layby and abandon him, did you?
Every year, thousands of catfaces are dumped at the side of the road.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 6:27, Reply)

I have him well-trained.
He drove himself there.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 6:31, Reply)

I'm off the M4 now and at work
The M4 was more fun =/
( Captain V, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 8:15, Reply)

Sometimes when I'm at work I wish I had
an M4.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 8:57, Reply)

I used to have an M4 but I upgraded it to an M40
It's quite similar but it's a bit faster and goes to better places.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:13, Reply)

I have an M90
But apart from being easier to use, it's a bit shit as it's only 2/3 of the width.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:16, Reply)

That'll be because it's colder
north of the border
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Aye
It never expands to its full width.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:30, Reply)

You should put an elastic band around one end
and give it a shake.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:38, Reply)

I have an M25
It's impressive in width but sadly never really keeps going and is always getting bunged up, I think I'm just going round in circles with it really. It looks pretty from above though.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:40, Reply)

by comparison
my M5 is rather long, and really quite useful
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:41, Reply)

It's funny isn't it
the M5 really is one of the better motorways in the country. And it doesn't go anywhere near London.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:46, Reply)

the surface of it is shockingly bad down here
at some point in the last 10 years someone decided that absurd amounts of water lying on the surface of the motorway is fun and safe for all.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:47, Reply)

For fucks sake
do you really want to live in your cosy little cotton wool world with no sense of risk or danger? My mrs told me off the other day for driving too quickly in my car, yet she's perfectly happy to drive fast in hers just because it's got brakes that work and crumple zones and seatbelts. Some people are just unreasonable.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:50, Reply)

being completely unable to see for a good 5 seconds or more when driving past a lorry at 80 mph
isn't much fun. Risk and danger are all very well, but there is a limit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:53, Reply)

So you're boring as well as smug.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:57, Reply)

yeah, that's right

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Told you
Your suit looked especially snazzy in that picture you posted yesteday.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:05, Reply)

thanks
that's pretty much the best photo of me ever.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:07, Reply)

What's that?
Someone telling us how big their penis is on QoTW.
Mine's like Sol Campbell's, fucking massive.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:59, Reply)

I don't think you need the 's
yours is like Sol Cambell. It's a massive cock.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:00, Reply)

My Cock is the same size and shape as Emlie Heskey
Sometimes I dress it in a Leicester Strip and scare children with it.
The irony is, it's actually better at playing football than Emile Heskey.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:06, Reply)

Emile Heskey is the Candyman
fact

Heskey

Candyman
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Brilliant!

(Bazongaloid, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:12, Reply)

I'm almost tempted to shop a Leicester strip onto the Candyman now.

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:20, Reply)

This can only be a good idea.

( Cawl, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:22, Reply)