He's not allowed in Tesco unattended.
He only buys crunchy sticks, party rings and fizzy drinks which, as you so correctly point out, he just can't handle. I am going to immediately change his life and stamp my authority all over him by making him eat vegetables.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:30, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes!
Take everything in his life that previously made it enjoyable and stop him doing it.

I'm pretty sure women must have this thought every time they move in with a man. How else do you explain it?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:32, Reply)

Oh fuck... Really?
It's not too late for me to back down, I guess...
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:33, Reply)

I used to like leaving the toilet seat up
I can't do that anymore.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Have to leave the toilet seat down,
Or the curtain will knock Mel's housemate's toothbrush into the toilet again :D
That was a painfully amusing minute or so.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:36, Reply)

a mate of mine once stuck this annoying girls toothbrush up his arse.
He also pissed in another girl's cider once.
He's a bad man.
(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:40, Reply)

A "mate of yours" yeah?
Shocking behaviour from someone in your profession.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:41, Reply)

I think you need this:
www.b3ta.com/questions/write.php?topic=294
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:42, Reply)

haha,
if you don't move then poor Catface will have no one to run away to.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Hmmm...
How much will you pay me not to tell him I've moved then?
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:45, Reply)

a six pack of Dr Pepper
and a packet of party rings.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:47, Reply)

I dunno if I'm ready for that kinda power.

( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:48, Reply)

This is good to hear.
Also, whatever you do, don't let him get a Bristol accent.
Don't let him out the house if you have to. Even cut his ears off.
There's no accent that makes me wanna hurl more than that.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:32, Reply)

I quite like the Bristol accent.
It's Brum ones that make me think of retarbs.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Brum = Retarded
Bristol = Retarded Farmer
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:41, Reply)

I think you mean retabed

(Bazongaloid, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:42, Reply)

I heard that you are so retarded that your name is another word for Scopey

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:42, Reply)

Scopey?
That was my old username.
( Cawl, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 9:44, Reply)