Only when he uses his penis pump

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:44, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I thought he had to stop using that
after too many visits to A&E and his missus complaining that the Dyson was full of cock custard?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:45, Reply)

You can't use Dysons for that
the suction's too powerful, and I've always liked to look into Henry's eyes as I blow my load anyway.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:46, Reply)

There is a certain, pleading look in his eyes
Like he's coaxing you on, and would reach up to tickle your prostate if he had any limbs...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:47, Reply)

He has a certain playful mystery in his eyes
if he could talk I imagine he'd sound like that little blonde kid from mock the week
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Yeah, but Henry wouldn't have the same massive front teeth
I wouldn't want him flossing those on my banjo string.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:50, Reply)

I dunno
I've always imagined myself giving it to that guy dressed as a scout leader, for some reason it just feels appropriate
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:52, Reply)

I can imagine
giving him a mouthful as a church choir master...but I think he'd look even more frightening with a centre parting.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:55, Reply)

You mean frightening in a sexy way, right?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Yeah,
in the same way that you like your missus to wear a clown mask when you're ploughing your mucky furrow.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:57, Reply)

you're ploughing her mucky furrow She's pegging you like a pirate on a sinking ship
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:58, Reply)

She certainly knows
how to shiver my timber.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:59, Reply)

She's had a lot of experience with salty brine

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:59, Reply)

I can imagine
with the amount she's had to shovel out of poor Henry...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Even then it'd be a stretch
What about those little extractor chimneys with the jagged edges? I could file them down.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:45, Reply)

how about
fucking a goats nostril

or

put a cat in a wicker basket, barely bigger than it. ensure that there is a large enough hole in the wicker so you can pierce its vibrating shitbox. once established in the feline colon, jab the cat with pencils or any sharp object at hand, the resulting distress should ensure plenty of anal constriction which should quickly releive the pressure in your loins.



/de sade
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:51, Reply)

That's the most sensible answer to a question on OT ever.
I owe you one
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 11:53, Reply)