dear god
I've just seen a comment about a game I was playing where the complete fucking moron had written "my'n" meaning "mine"

give me strength. go on, give it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:12, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have none of my own, let alone any extra to give to you

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:14, Reply)

in that case
at least commiserate with me about the poor standards of education.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:15, Reply)

i aint got no anikdote

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:17, Reply)

u ain't got no alibi

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:29, Reply)

stuf ya alibi ryt up ya jap

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:31, Reply)

bad spelling?
Online?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:23, Reply)

I think it's the fact that it is the same number of keystrokes

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:24, Reply)

I hate it when I see people write "n e thing"
Which is an extra keystroke.
( Peej, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:27, Reply)

that's not just bad spelling though
it's complete butchery. it shows absolutely no grasp of what basic words means, let alone how to properly use apostrophes and stuff.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:24, Reply)

I once saw someone eat a dessert with a soup spoon.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:25, Reply)

what....
I hope you gave them what for
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:29, Reply)

That's even worse than eating soup with a dessert spoon!
What plebs...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:30, Reply)

I once ate a spoon in the desert with a soup

( Peej, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:33, Reply)

I USE A TABLESPOON TO STIR MY TEA

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:35, Reply)

I ate a yoghurt with a fork

(Bazongaloid, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I forked 8 yoghurts

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:42, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop it stop it stop it! You're all aggravating my autism! ONLINE!
*shudders*
*counts to 100 obsessively in different languages*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:39, Reply)

HAHAHAHA IM JUST KIDDIN
I don't drink hot tea
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:42, Reply)

*mutters repeatedly under breath, "23 stirs anticlockwise"*
*tries not to think of cold tea*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)

how come iced tea is so delicious but hot tea gone cold is terrible?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:52, Reply)

We need an expert to answer this.
I think it's the milk that makes a difference when it's gone cold - yet cold coffee is quite palatable, so maybe I'm talking shite. Online.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:56, Reply)

coffee gone cold is nasty
I think you're just talking rubbish
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:03, Reply)

More than likely!
Or maybe it's because I've never had a hot one since giving birth ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:21, Reply)

I read that as
"hahaha I have a kid and you don't, you'll be alone for the rest of your days getting old and wrinkly. I'll be living a fulfilling life with my family while you die alone clutching your cup of hot coffee"
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:31, Reply)

No, not at all!
Truth is I'm 40 with sagging pelvic floor muscles - I have to cross my legs every time I sneeze or cough. Every time I make a coffee it goes cold because I can't remember where I put it, due to brain coming out with the placenta, resulting in fuckwittery. I think you win!
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:41, Reply)

unlikely
I have to cross my knees when I sneeze too :(
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:51, Reply)

that is a good question
I've never let a cup of tea go cold without milk in though, which I suspect may have something to do with it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Vast amounts of sugar
Probably. It makes most cold things nicer.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:17, Reply)

I've actually been put of men on dating sites because of bad grammar and spelling.
I blame you all for my poor love life.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:42, Reply)

do you mean put off?
*chuckles while running away*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Ha ha, smug spelling correction!
If you hadn't pointed that out, I would have ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I'm talking about severe bad grammar and spelling and not the odd missing F or apostrophe.
You'd be surprised how bad some of them are. I know my grasp of the English language is tenuous but if I was on a dating site and trying to give a good impression, then I would make the effort to proof read my profile.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:54, Reply)

you'd be surprised at how many people don't think it is important
or just don't know how to do it right.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:55, Reply)

It's every bit as important as size

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:00, Reply)

On such dating sites as I've been on
it put me off too. I suspect that some of it is the older generation trying to appear younger by writing in the style of kids.

I mark down people on HotOrNot for offences against English in the little blurb beneath the picture.

"hay im maddii mi life is pretty simple i luv ta party and hang out wit ma friends an yea xox " -1000 points
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I am drawn to men with a good grasp
of spelling and grammar.


That and a big knob.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:45, Reply)

And big feet!

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)

True
even though I *hate* just about anyone's feet except my own. Men's feet are particularly unattractive.

Toenails...ugh!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:52, Reply)

I hate feet too, apart from baby feet.
Baby feet just make me want to kiss them or tickle them.

The best think about my feet are that they are at the other end of my body.
( girlinthehole, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Baby feet are lovely
as are cat and kitten feet - I could play with them all day.


Man feet are all stringy and nasty - even George Clooney's or Mark Ruffalo's.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:00, Reply)

Yes but
do you also refuse to buy things off ebay when the description has poor spelling, grammar or comic sans?

I do...

/feels nazi-like
(berk, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Should that not be "from" ebay?
*scampers*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:52, Reply)

possibly
might be "via ebay" or "through ebay"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Don't you get to the Horn of Plenty
via ebay?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)

It's near the
Pirate Bay...


"All aboard the Skylark!"


or something.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Horn of
Plenty of Shite, perhaps...not that the relative shiteness of a thing has ever really stopped me buying something if I particularly wanted it. The first step of overcoming addiction is admitting you have a problem, though. *sighs*
(berk, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Perhaps
'from' would be more correct, but I'm a northern - it's perfectly correct english here to say 'off'f ebay when't description...' (read in broad Lancastrian/Yorkshire accent for full effect)

At least it was all spelled correctly...
(berk, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)

I'm more northern than you
Or should that be "I'm more northern than you are"?
I was just being a piss-taking pedant ;o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Pedant?
An ant who fiddles with larvae?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:06, Reply)

what about pedantichrist?

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:24, Reply)

pedantichrist is a kiddy fiddler?
Well I never, you learn something new every day.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:25, Reply)

*nods sagely*

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 14:28, Reply)

Maybe they were trying to abbreviate "my un"
Which, when said in a Cornish dialect, is near-perfect grammar.
"Excuse me my good fellow, is this coat yours?"
"Th'blue'n? Aaaar! S'my'n thaddiz!"
Or maybe not.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Tue 8 Sep 2009, 16:18, Reply)