Beef stew
1. brown beef in casserole dish then remove
2. fry onions, garlic & carrots cut like fat matchsticks until soft
3. make up a mixture of good red wine and beef stock
4. reintroduce beef to casserole dish, add flour, thyme, tomato puree, salt&pepper, Lea & Perrins or Marmite, followed by the wine/stock
5. cook on super-low heat for minimum 4 or 5 hours.
6. serve with carrot, swede & turnip mashed together with nutmeg & butter, and mashed potatoes w horseradish.
7. gaz Monty Boyce telling him you've cooked the best stew ever and you are very grateful


NB NO FUCKING CELERY, ALRIGHT?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:10, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I like celery
in stews.

By itself it's fucking wrong.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:12, Reply)

For such an innocuous-looking vegetable
the flavour is all-pervasive, I find.

IT MAKES ME ANGRY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:14, Reply)

Celery
Belongs nowhere.

It simply shouldn't exist, it is that bad!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:17, Reply)

You are 100% correct.
It's fucking shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Celery is a cunt

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:41, Reply)

I'm thinking of bullying celery.
Hopefully it will be home-schooled as a result and i won't even have to clap eyes on the STRINGY, GREEN REPULSIVE SHIT ever again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)

I heard celery has started cutting itself and telling it's mum that it's a teacher training day so it can stay at home.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Who wants something that looks like tubes of grass but tastes like Pear's Soap mixed with white pepper?
Who???
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Who is familiar with the taste of Pear's soap mixed with pepper?
Who???
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)

I've never mixed the two, to be honest with you.
But I've tasted both and feel that this gives me an insight into how they would taste. Together.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:51, Reply)

That's probably fair enough.
I was just being a pedantic old git as usual_{, you weird, soap-tasting type}.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:53, Reply)

In that case...
*pulls tongues and calls you an auld bastid*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Tongues?
How many tongues do you have?

...unhand my tongue, you weird, soap-tasting type!
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)

I was young and foolish
And I was mainly a soap-powder taster really.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:04, Reply)

I've tasted it.
I tasted it the last time I accidentally ate CELERY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:01, Reply)

Yeah!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 14:04, Reply)

I think I use a similar recipe
My own personal touch is to use cheaper bottle of wine and just chuck the whole thing in, but it does make a truly magnificent beef stew. Serve with a baguette.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Sep 2009, 13:27, Reply)