little fucker
back from hospital as contractions stopped the minute we got there. plus midwife was being a bit of a btich. told me to try paracetamol. right, like that'll make any fucking difference.

so am strapped up to a TENS machine, which feels like a million tiny horses galloping across my back, but makes little difference to the pain.
bitch midwife said it'll probably be a few days yet. Days! am rapidly going off the idea of having a baby, and almost long for just being uncomfortable and unable to sleep, which i was was whining about earlier in the week.

oh, and i've had a severe sense of humour failure too noel.
( ascorbate, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:12, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sorry hon.
Seriously, I hope it goes smoothly for you from here.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:14, Reply)

This might cheer you up

(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Sick Filth

( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Sorry.
Try and imagine them with foaming cocks spraying hot jizz all over a massive pair of chebs.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:17, Reply)

Sick Enjoyable
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:19, Reply)

Days?????
I would put a speaker up there and bellow at that naughty little fucker.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:15, Reply)

Paracetemol?
If only women had known this was all they needed.
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:18, Reply)

You see!
It's just women being stupid and whinging, if you actually bothered to get off your arses and try some stuff out of the medicine cabinet you would have realised that two paracetamol would cure your "headache" and you could get a lot more shagging done.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:22, Reply)

*takes two paracetemol*
*al disappears*
Oh Em Gee, you're like totally right - my headache has completely gone.
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:24, Reply)

I haven't really dissapeared
I'm just behind you shagging you while you can't feel it because of the paracetamol.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:27, Reply)

*takes rest of paracetemol*

( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:29, Reply)

Oh well,
your corpse will stay warm for a while.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:31, Reply)

the paracetamol my tiny penis
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:30, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha

( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:32, Reply)

I imagine you typing most things with your eyes rolling
and large amounts of sarcasm dripping from your fingers. Is that the case?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:37, Reply)

She types with her bosom heaving
and large amounts of jizz dripping from her nipples.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:38, Reply)

can't beat a bit of boobal heavage

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:40, Reply)

I type things either laughing and saying 'what a twat'
or sighing and saying 'what a twat'.

Al, bugger off.
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:55, Reply)

:(
:(



:(



:(
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Cheer up, Aleroo.
There's always SLAYER.
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:58, Reply)

Will you still be angry with me at SLAYER!!!!!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:59, Reply)

No, because we have to make up in time for DIO

( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Wooo!
If I send you a picture of my pants will you forgive me?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 17:01, Reply)

I reckon I can do that.

( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 17:02, Reply)

*squeals*
THAT'S NOT YOUR PANTS!
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 17:06, Reply)

Paracetamol is a more powerful painkiller than most people think,
It would make a difference, just not totally shut out the pain.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:52, Reply)

and it works with everyone
unlike those tens machines.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:55, Reply)

It's fatal to cats too

(Bazongaloid, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:57, Reply)

He's taken over from Kaol.
He bought a meal-deal in Boots the other day and now he's a pharmacist.
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 17:09, Reply)

There you go Vits.
This (pretend) man has also suggested you take some paracetamol.
Let's suggest he does the same after we've sliced one of his nuts off.
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:56, Reply)

if it has made a difference
i can't feel it

plus the TENS machine is quite shit too.

have to try and not go back to hospital before tomorrow though, to avoif awful midwife.
( ascorbate, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:59, Reply)

try a plunger?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:21, Reply)

Hmmm...
be careful what you wish for Vits.
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:33, Reply)

start poking it

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:34, Reply)

I suspect this is what caused the problem in the first place.

( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:35, Reply)

can't get any worse from here

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:37, Reply)

I've always said to start beating you children at a very young age to prevent later behavior problems...

Now you just have to get the kid out of your body so you can give him a good tellig off.

You poor dear. Perhaps the only reason I got rushed into a room to sit through a very long labor while on the extra-fabo epidural is because I showed up to the hospital in a prison guard uniform with military-grade mace. I vote take a weapon with you the next time you give the hospital a go.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:55, Reply)

that's my plan
for our next trip to the hosp. weapons.
( ascorbate, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 16:59, Reply)

It works in Texas
I don't see why it shouldn't work over there.

Granted, over there, the nurses don't shoot back.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Fri 25 Sep 2009, 17:02, Reply)

They don't,
but they will leave you on a trolley in a corridor until you die.
YOU TOO CAN HAVE THE NHS IN THE USA.
( thealternativefact, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 17:03, Reply)