Because CHCB is faffing around with text instead of just doing this...
xkcd.com/467/
( Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:25, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

GET BACK TO WORK, MIDGET!

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Oh, she's let you out has she?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)

I had to stand over him this morning and force him to send out his CV.
If he gets an interview it's because of my cunning Word formatting.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I should hope so to.
Everyone needs their mum to check their CV before it goes out.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:32, Reply)

And then I made him some egg beat up in a cup.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:32, Reply)

You beat him up in a cup?
You evil harpy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Don't tempt me.
It's been his turn to clean the bathroom for 4 days now.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

force him to send out his CV furiously masturbate
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:40, Reply)

Hey!
You wanna come do unemployed things with me, like break the aerials off shiny new Mercs, then use them to smoke drugs?
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:28, Reply)

I was going to call you yesterday and suggest this weekend
But CHCB told me you're moving so I decided not to bother.

How does sometime next week sound?
( Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:31, Reply)

Stop having fun without me!
I'm so lonely in London now with only becky and clenders and DIT to amuse me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Hahaha!
This reminds me, I need to start arranging my Halloween Party.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:35, Reply)

You can go out to play as soon as you've fixed the washing machine leak.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

As in "next week when we're going to that gig"?
You can come over earlier, if you like.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

I meant sometime during the week
Earliest I can really do would be this weekend but you're moving.

CHCB informs me that I'm being a grumpy bastard today. Apparently "I mean sometime during the week" sounds somehow grumpy.

I'm off again - house rearranging to do!
( Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:35, Reply)

May I also inform you that the bathroom is not self-cleaning?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:36, Reply)

This whole adjacent-desk thing is great. I can yell at you and type at you at the same time.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:37, Reply)

I have no idea what you're talking about.
Have fun arguing though :p
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:37, Reply)

I SO have a job for you.
I'll gaz you.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Ok...
EDIT: I can't kill anyone, or I'll fail my CRB.
( Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:38, Reply)