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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Where is everyone?
I'm in a very good mood and want to converse with fellow B3tans in a jovial manner.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:12, 160 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I'm here eating cake and bananas

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:14, Reply)
Why are you so happy?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:16, Reply)
Not telling : )
And no, I didn't get laid.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:17, Reply)
New vibrator?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)



(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)
More "terrible bullying"
than pandering.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:24, Reply)
Really?
You were waiting for a reply you could sleaze all over.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:25, Reply)
So
A pre-emptive pandertronning?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)
Hello!
I'm here but about to hit a pile of work.

The ageing process has also hit home this morning - I had an eye test and found I need glasses for working at my PC and driving as my left eye is buggered.

Next stop, incontinence pants and liver spots :(
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:16, Reply)
Oh dear : (
I shall purchase one of those big pillows that help you get up off a low chair and bring it with me next weekend.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:19, Reply)
I think one of those
Round cushions with a hole in the middle might help him more.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:24, Reply)
How will that help me to see better?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:32, Reply)
You won't be squinting in
Old-Man-Piles-Related-Pain.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)
I don't have piles
apart from the piles of work on my desk, you young whipper-snapper you.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:38, Reply)
Oh right...
Of course, you WOULD say that.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:43, Reply)
The hole
may help you as some kind of focusing device?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:34, Reply)
I'm only 28
and have just been diagnosed with a cataract. Beat that for shitty oldness..
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)
*hugs*
Oh deary dear : (


It can be fixed quite easily now though, can't it?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)
Yeah.
If you count "having your eyeball sliced open while you're still awake" as "quite easily".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)
:(
*cries*
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)
On the plus side,
They'll give you an injection INTO YOUR EYEBALL first.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:40, Reply)
I already had that done once
Piece of piss*

*May be complete and utter lies, it was fucking agony
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:45, Reply)
*nods*
Apparently the worst part is seeing it come towards you.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:49, Reply)
Yeah
It's fairly simple, but they have to wait until it's "ripe" or something.. it's got to be well advanced before they can get rid of it. So for now, it's just blurry vision a-go-go! Woo.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:35, Reply)
hello I have bought a book called "Mr. Darcy, a Vampyre"
it has caused great problems as I couldn't put it down last night and am now very tired
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:16, Reply)
is that what i think it is?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:18, Reply)
I suppose it depends on what you think it is

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:21, Reply)
Fitzwilliam Darcy?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:22, Reply)
Yes. Have you read this?
I've never read Pride and Prejudice so I really don't know if the characters are the same and I feel quite stupid saying that, to be honest.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)
I only read it because I was forced
so I wouldn't worry hun.
I like books that take characters that already exist and then fuck with them. Like 'Beauty' by Sherri Tepper.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)
and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)
I've got that
Sitting on my bookshelf.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:34, Reply)
Need to read it still.

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:34, Reply)
let me know what it is like when you do
it sounds interesting at least
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:35, Reply)
I've read it
It almost made me want to read Pride and Prejudice, so it's pretty impressive.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
OH I looooooooove sleeping beauty, thanks for that, I'll definitely have to check it out now!!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:07, Reply)
I'm here
And feeling very jovial, if not slightly sick.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:19, Reply)
I'm here,
Lurking
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)
You just saw your mate Darcy up there ^

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)
Terrible lies!

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:21, Reply)
You did
You said "Ooh, Our Kid's online. I'd better see how he is."
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)
That is pretty rubbish.
I'm not a dirty Northerner, for a start.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:24, Reply)
You've got all fucked up since you moved to Wales
You're trying to retain your Englishness but you're getting your counties mixed up.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:25, Reply)
Ah shame.
I think being unemployed fucks the brain up.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:27, Reply)
Repeat after me
"A've got diss pain in me back. A cun ardly waaalk"
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:29, Reply)

waaalk wank
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)
And that
Can you get DLA for being disabled in the wank department?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)
No
but you can get DLA for living in Wales. I read it in a leaflet.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:34, Reply)
What the hell is "DLA"?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:35, Reply)
Disability Living Allowance

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)
Oh.
Fair enough!
I'm not dole-scum yet, I've only been out of work for a month.
I say "yet", I have no intention of becoming one.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)
good lad
it's better for you not have the money than to lose the self-esteem.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:41, Reply)
You still planning
on fucking up young people's futures teaching?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:41, Reply)
Yeah,
I've done a week in a school, which was great fun, and has given me an awesome reference.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:42, Reply)
Disability Living Allowance

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)
The Newport Shopmobility shop is ace
I've had my photo taken there.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:35, Reply)
I'm in a relativley shit mood,
but I've got glastonbury tickets, so I'm torn.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:21, Reply)
Hasn't Glastonbury been and gone this year?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:24, Reply)
Next year.
It's already sold out.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:25, Reply)
Yes. I've got tickets for next year.
They're sold out now.

isn't anyone going to ask why I'm in a bad mood?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:25, Reply)
Why are you in a relatively shit mood?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:25, Reply)
I don't want to talk about it.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)
Rod?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)
hahahhaha
twat
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)
ha ha, I am a funny guy,
In reality I broke up a burgeoning relationship on thursday between two friends.
The guy slept with his ex while she was on holiday, I told her best friend.
The guy deserved it for being a dick but I still feel like a bit of a cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)
hmmm
a tricky position to be in. not sure what I'd do. You're the one with all the facts though, so as long as you think you made the right decision then don't feel too shit about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:32, Reply)
Was the "guy" you?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)
That would mean he was a dick who felt like a cunt
Oh...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:34, Reply)
Nope, I couldn't get two women who wanted to sleep with me at the same time,
dammit I've tried.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:34, Reply)
Tough break, I guess.
On the plus side, you get £5 of Vipros Smug Pennies to spend at your own leisure for "doing the right thing".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)
valuable currency indeed

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:37, Reply)
How long had the burgeoning relationship been going?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)
on and off for a few months, maybe 3,
properly for about 3 weeks.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:37, Reply)
She's been into him for about a year though.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:38, Reply)
it's only the proper part that counts really

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:38, Reply)
Not really,
he did it even though he knew that she adored him, and had done for some time. He also knew that she would be devastated when she found out... just accept that he's a cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:41, Reply)
well, that is extra cunty then
the fact that she was into him for a year before anything happened is irrelevant though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:42, Reply)
So you think someone has a responsibility to the person that adores them?
That's not sarcasm. I'm really asking.
So it would kind of be ok for them to still be sleeping with other people at 3 weeks proper/three months not proper if neither of them were head-over heels?

EDIT: I suppose I meant that for Chomp really. Oh i dunno I've eaten too many cakes and bananas.
/sanity
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:45, Reply)
not sure whether one of us is slightly misunderstanding something here
my view is that if someone likes you, no matter how much, and nothing has happened previously then you have no responsibility to them at all. it is entirely their own issue. Once something has happened, if it is still casual there is a little responsibility there, but still not much. once it is something proper then sleeping with an ex is very much a no-no

edit: that makes more sense
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:48, Reply)
yeah
I think I agree.
I wonder if she knew he was a cunt and went ahead anyway though.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:50, Reply)
that would be a typical woman thing to do
several times in my youth I was in a position where I liked a girl, we got on really well and had a bit of a snog and stuff, but ultimately they would prefer to go out with some cunt, who they know is a useless cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:51, Reply)
I made it clear to her that he was a cunt before anything happend,
she ignored me.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:53, Reply)
Maybe not, I'm not sure,
I think the reason I'm so annoyed about it is that she's a very good friend, I've known her since I was 13-14. She hasn't had a boyfriend for a while because her last boyfriend screwed her over and then the one time she starts a relationship within a month he's cheated on her.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:52, Reply)
if she's into bastards
You might have to get used to feeling bad on her behalf.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:55, Reply)
that sucks
it's annoying and saddening watching someone like that have these shitty relationships.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:55, Reply)
Oh.
Your next task is to break up a married couple.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:38, Reply)
Invite me to your wedding, I'll do my best.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:46, Reply)
Hahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:47, Reply)
Why are you in a bad mood?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)
why are you in a bad mood?
/pretending to care
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)
Why are you in a bad mood?
Why are you in a bad mood? Why are you in a bad mood? Why are you in a bad mood?
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:27, Reply)
Is it because you're a girl trapped in a boy's body?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)
Is it the AIDS?

(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:29, Reply)
aaw
does pompy wanna cookie and a hug to cheer her up?
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)
I have cramps.
But I'm jovial because I just had cofffee and boiled egg on buttered toast with salt and black pepper, and at the risk of sounding like Gonz, BEST LUNCH EVAR, OH MAN.

My god, I could be on /talk with a lunch post like that.
Needs more cuntishness though.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:01, Reply)
I had a shitty ham sandwich
in my shitty office where I do my shitty job. I'm in a really bad mood today.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:02, Reply)
If it helps,
At least you've got a job.
And food.
I've had a lumpy brown cracker thing, and the "dusty end of the tobacco" roll-up.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:05, Reply)
WWRJDD?
What Would Ronnie James Dio Do?

I bet he'd MTFU.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:06, Reply)
Fuck I wish I had thought of that
If RJD was in my position, he'd RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)
I bet he would,
I bet he'd backcomb his hair a little more, polish his leather and make a "grrrrrrr" face and then he'd RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)
I bet he would use both hands to make his Devil Horns.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)
And then he'd go to MUTHAFUCKIN TOWN
on that ham sandwich.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
you should rewrite that song from South Park the Movie
about Brian Boitano, and call it What Would Ronnie James Dio do?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:31, Reply)
naa
we all know you're a cunt

I had tomato soup. it's given me indigestion.

on saturday though I had a bagel (encrusted with all manner of seeds and stuff) with salt beef, horseradish mayo, lettuce and pickles. it was incredible.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:03, Reply)
Better cunt than smug.
*nods sagely*
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:05, Reply)
wrong

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)
You would say that.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
Now I want egg & soldiers!
Did your Mum ever make choppy-uppy-in-a-cuppy for you when you were little?
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:06, Reply)
BLEURGH!
Egg beat up in a cup, we called it. I hate it. It makes me want to boke. It's just the wrong consistency or something. Any other form of the same ingredients is fine.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:08, Reply)
what is it?

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)
The clue is in the name.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)
This was something of a long running joke on /talk for a while

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:10, Reply)
I gathered the egg is beaten in a cup
but how is it cooked?

or is it a boiled egg chopped up and mixed about in a cup?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:10, Reply)
Cooked?
With HEAT, one would assume.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)
do try not to make yourself look like an idiot
there are a number of quite different ways of cooking an egg
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
I'm pretty sure they all involve heat though.
Am I right? What's that? Yes I am? Oh good.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
well done

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
*high fives*

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)
I don't think you can cook an egg
With cold.
So, yeah, heat.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Aye,
boiled egg chopped up with butter, salt and pepper. In a cup. It may actually be the cup bit that disturbs me. I could probably handle it if it was in, say, a small bowl.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)
have you been traumatised by a cup at some point?
this has reminded me of a recipe.

line a ramekin with parma ham, crack in a couple of eggs, pour on some double cream, salt, pepper, chives, maybe a sprinkling of cheese and bake in the oven till the egg white is cooked and yolk is runny.

fucking awesome
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
*cup flashbacks*
I don't think I can bring myself to talk about it yet.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Was there just
One cup?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)
sometimes, when I close my eyes,
I see two handles.




And four girls.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)
Because CHCB is faffing around with text instead of just doing this...
xkcd.com/467/
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:25, Reply)
GET BACK TO WORK, MIDGET!

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)
Oh, she's let you out has she?

(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)
I had to stand over him this morning and force him to send out his CV.
If he gets an interview it's because of my cunning Word formatting.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)
I should hope so to.
Everyone needs their mum to check their CV before it goes out.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:32, Reply)
And then I made him some egg beat up in a cup.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:32, Reply)
You beat him up in a cup?
You evil harpy.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)
Don't tempt me.
It's been his turn to clean the bathroom for 4 days now.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)

force him to send out his CV furiously masturbate
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:40, Reply)
Hey!
You wanna come do unemployed things with me, like break the aerials off shiny new Mercs, then use them to smoke drugs?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:28, Reply)
I was going to call you yesterday and suggest this weekend
But CHCB told me you're moving so I decided not to bother.

How does sometime next week sound?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:31, Reply)
Stop having fun without me!
I'm so lonely in London now with only becky and clenders and DIT to amuse me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)
Hahaha!
This reminds me, I need to start arranging my Halloween Party.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:35, Reply)
You can go out to play as soon as you've fixed the washing machine leak.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)
As in "next week when we're going to that gig"?
You can come over earlier, if you like.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)
I meant sometime during the week
Earliest I can really do would be this weekend but you're moving.

CHCB informs me that I'm being a grumpy bastard today. Apparently "I mean sometime during the week" sounds somehow grumpy.

I'm off again - house rearranging to do!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:35, Reply)
May I also inform you that the bathroom is not self-cleaning?

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:36, Reply)
This whole adjacent-desk thing is great. I can yell at you and type at you at the same time.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:37, Reply)
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Have fun arguing though :p
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:37, Reply)
I SO have a job for you.
I'll gaz you.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:38, Reply)
Ok...
EDIT: I can't kill anyone, or I'll fail my CRB.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:38, Reply)
I'm off the graph.


^
|
|
|
|_______>

No. of girls vs. no. of cups.



(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)
When you're little and too poorly to dunk soldiers in a soft boiled egg,
your Mum chops the soldiers into dainty squares, in a cup, with chopped egg so you can eat it feably with a teaspoon.
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)
But do you mash it with a fork, or a knife
and is it consumed with salt, pepper, or brown sauce? We need to know!?

In fact, How would Ronnie James Dio have his?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)
he eats eggs whole

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
I think he has the dragons fire
to cook them for his Rock 'n' Roll Children.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)
I think he eats devilled eggs.

(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
I reckon that sometimes
when he fancies a midnight snack he races down to the all night garage as fast as he can to get the eggs. This is the real reason why he Speeds at Night.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)
Daintily chopped, no mashing required.
A bijou sprinklette of salt if you wish, and if the egg yolk isn't sufficiently runny you can add a large knob of butter.
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
YES!
We call it guggy egg.
She still makes it if I look malnourished or upset when I'm round at their house. *not as embarrassed as I should be*

EDIT: it also has bread and butter in there, yes?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)
I've never had one of these.
Sounds odd.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)
It's what poor working class types eat.
You may be too posh and too well-nourished.
(I helped save b3ta! crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)
^ What she said
it makes you better
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
Oh...
I always got "Go to school anyway, and I'll pick you up if you're ill".
By "pick me up" she meant at 5, when school was over.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
this is what I got too
got my own back by vomiting all over the carpet during show and tell though.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
I have been impersonating a busy corporate drone
While actually doing the in-house magazine cryptic crossword. Only two clues left!
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 5 Oct 2009, 14:11, Reply)

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