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( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I was woken up this morning to the sound of the road outside being ripped up. It need resurfacing, and I guess if they've started early it means they'll finish today, but it wasn't half noisy! If they're still there when I go home, I might make them all a cake to share. What sort of cake do you think builders would like?
( , Fri 9 Oct 2009, 8:53, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Needs more Daves Insanity sauce though. And fish and chips.
( , Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:00, Reply)

I bought a bottle of this.
For everyone newcomer to my house, they have to get a tiny bit on the end of their finger and lick it. Call it an initiation if you will. As a result, everyone knows where I keep it.
Which is why I woke up a couple of weeks back with my lips on fire. Yes, one of my friends had decided to take advantage of my napping state, and had rubbed it all over my fucking lips
I had my head in the sink for half an hour, and couldn't even chase him with it, because I couldn't move my lips more than 2 seconds away from the cold water coming out of the tap. Eventually I did, and got some ice cream to help. I then sat there telling him he was a cunt for the next hour.
Don't get me wrong, it was very funny. But he's still a cunt.
( , Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:08, Reply)

Man, he was fucked. Eyes streaming, nose on fire, it took him ten minutes to say anything other than 'Argh!'
( , Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:12, Reply)

I can't stand hot foods or sauces myself. I'd be crawled in to a balls on the floow crying, begging to be put in a bath of ice then whimpering like a gerbil in a condom.
( , Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:19, Reply)
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