not being American or a pagan,
I'm going to say 'nothing'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:18, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I bet the chavvy kids round near me
will be "trick or treat"-ing. Any excuse for begging.

I'm tempted to lay in some trick sweets: www.spritz.co.uk/browse/17/SG191

or possibly some wildly inappropriate bum and willy chocolates.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Gotta love the kids round my way
One year my ex-gf answered the door to be confronted by the 'yout' man dem' sporting hoods and balaclavas, pointing replica pistols in her face. That passes as a Halloween costume in the East End, it seems. She shat herself - I, however, did see the funny side...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:27, Reply)

that reminds me
of the year me and my friends were supposed to be handing out the sweets at someone's house, while the parents were away.

everytime the door ran, someone would stick on the black cloak, sneak out the back door, and run round the front howling, brandishing a massive butcher's knife.

i don't think anyone stayed loing enough to get sweets
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:29, Reply)

anyone attempting that vile American practice at my house
shall receive, as a treat, a signature Monty Boyce facepunch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:30, Reply)

One Halloween some boys stuck shit to our window
I was having a sleepover with my mates. These lads knew we were in on our own, so they got into the garden and were banging on the windows. Then one of them did a shit and stuck it to the window next to the front door. I got called Shitty Window for months.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:35, Reply)

now playing in my head:
'Shitty windooows, comin' from mah baaadi heat'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:51, Reply)

That's how they sang it at me in the street!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 11:56, Reply)

I find this tale inordinately funny, I confess
I've read & re-read it, and chortled each time.

This means I am rather puerile, but this is not news to me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:11, Reply)

I can't tell it without laughing
And you haven't even heard the bit about us praying desperately to St. Jude in my mother's bedroom. Or my uncle booting the perpetrator up the bum three weeks later.
It got read out on the radio once.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:20, Reply)

I'd advise against offering a child your chocolate willy.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 16 Oct 2009, 12:52, Reply)