Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 18:53, 87 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening Spakk
Hows goes it in Laaaaahndaaaahn?

(aiming to stick around much longer tonight. I'm not cooking)
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:09, Reply)

Evening Stimples
I'll only be sticking around for another 45 mins or so and then I'm off to my Tai-Chi class.

I think I've now lost the last of my daylight bikerides home (unless I get to work earlier).
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:12, Reply)

Are you learning the way of the leotard?
If not, why not? I demand more men are leotards! more!

I'm walking to and from my bus in darkness now. Do not like. Much prefer walking in the sun. Today was raining though, which made me happy. If it's not sunny and I'm outside, it should be raining. Or snowing. Either is good.
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:18, Reply)

Not the way of the leotard
but the way of the leopard.

I'm lucky enough to work at a place that starts late enough to let me cycle in in broad daylight.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:23, Reply)

Do you work 10-6?
I did that last winter when we were really really backlogged (the other girl in my team does 8-4) and I used to hate that last half an hour in the office on my own...
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:24, Reply)

Indeed, I work 10-6
But if I arrive up to half an hour earlier, I can go home up to half an hour earlier. I like my late nights. Hopefully, if enough people don't screw things up too much, I can have more flexible flexitime.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:32, Reply)

Damn you
I could drive and do that in daylight, but I hate driving. I'll stick with being nocturnal and my buses... alternatively, can I move the three of us in with you and join where you work? Then I can also cycle in daylight!
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:25, Reply)

My company is indeed a fab place to work.
However, my studio flat barely has place for one, let alone four.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:34, Reply)

We can live in the ceiling

(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:37, Reply)

You can live on the ceiling - the roof is nice and flat. I even have a spare tent.
But you can live in the ceiling if you're exceptionally skiny. Come to think of it, having someone live in the ceiling may help me find out what happened to that wasp that was in my bathroom this morning and mysteriously disappeared.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:41, Reply)

it is in your overflowz
watching you shit
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:42, Reply)

Evening Spakkaman
I'm tired and cold and my washing machine is still fucked so who knows what random things I'll be wearing to work by Friday...
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:11, Reply)

Evening Maladelica
Perhaps you could try wearing used washing-machine components.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:14, Reply)

Depends if smashing it up in a fit of rage would invalidate my contract...
We may be down to cocktail dresses and WTF looks from colleagues by the end of the week.
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:16, Reply)

More cocktail dresses should be worn in work
I would wear mine, but I already get odd looks for being skimpily dressed at the (admittedly rare) cocktail parties, and I'm already on one written warning for what I wear at work. Damn them all to heck! Do it and show us photographs Ms. M!
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:19, Reply)

Oh, are you sent to posh events with ice sculptures and ventriloquists where you feel shockingly out of your depth too?
We did discuss changing from Casual Friday (which for us is the same as any other day since we're only customer-facing if something goes epically wrong) to Formal Friday once a month...

Are you invoking POIDH?
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:23, Reply)

I am invoking
I don't get sent (luckily. I think the company is too scared to send me out after the last time I got sent to meet a client). I have been invited to a few though (sadly lacking in ice sculptures), and since I prefer a) strapless and b) I'm a metalhead, take three guesses what mine tend to look like...

I am invoking though. I want the whole office if you do go formal friday. I think this should be done more often. Or, I could cause a failure somewhere to make you go formal and customer facing...
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:28, Reply)

A challenge appears!
I decided against a corset dress (out of my budget at the moment) for the event I was sent to last weekend and opted for a halterneck thing that went down quite well if I do say so myself. There were no ice sculptures this time and it did transition quite nicely to the 80s bar in Birmingham afterwards (Rick Astley-a-gogo). I imagine your taste is like my "if I had all the money in the world" wardrobe...

We shall see what happens :) I will suggest it to my manager again (and she makes her own corsets so she'll be well in)! I don't advise causing a failure since I'll be the one opening the letters from the pissed off customers (if I never see another cab receipt again it will be too soon)...
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:38, Reply)

Halterneck aren't bad
Don't work on me though. What was the name of this bar? I must find it when I next have to take a trip to the forsaken city.
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:46, Reply)

This one required structural engineering to contain the norks
since I didn't want to do a Janet Jackson at a work thing!

The bar was Reflex - they're a chain (or must be, there was one in the town I grew up in). I used to go to Birmingham all the time for the shopping when I was a teenager (Bullring = heaven on earth) but had never experienced the nightlife until now, and compared to where I went to uni it was insanely crowded!
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:48, Reply)

I feel lucky sometimes I don't require said engineering
It would be nice to need it occasionally. Not doing the Janet Jackson is much better though!

I shall look up said bar. Although I'm not that big a fan of going out in the night, so may well end up skipping it. Sounds like you had a great time!
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:01, Reply)

I do, to a rather inconvenient level at times!
If only I could wear corsets all the time...

I did :) am not usually much of a clubby type myself but there's something rather charming about spazzing out to 80s cheese with your boss when he's had a few and is singing 9 to 5 at the top of his voice! I'm even more impressed no unflattering photos have appeared on Facebook yet...
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:03, Reply)

I'll invoke POIDH on Stimpy
Anything worth a written warning must be picworthy.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:26, Reply)

There are no pics! If there are, I will eat them. And the camera.
It was a stupid thing to be pulled up on. I simply wore a black skinny fit style t-shirt in one day. It has no hem at the bottom, so it rolls up. Leggings and skirt were rather low down as well, so I ended up showing rather a lot of my belly all day (although no more than some of the people in the office who meet clients all the time do) and it showed off some of my tattoos and piercings. Apparantly people take offence to that... but have no problem when I managed to pick up a "Danni filth is a cunt" t-shirt in error once, which I spent most of the day cringing in before I could nip out at lunch and buy a new top.
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:31, Reply)

Ah, the logic of management.

( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:41, Reply)

Never ceases to amuse!

(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:47, Reply)

I especially like it when one manager says "do this and send it to the other manager"
and you do it and then the other manager says "stop that, you don't need to do it".
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:49, Reply)

Sounds like a job for
managment consultancy. Mangers can be a bunch or right little unmanageable buggers if left unmanaged.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:58, Reply)

A sheepdog would do the job well.
Round them all up and manage them. Or an Alsatian.
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:59, Reply)

I'll set my rats on them
They have sharp claws...
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:02, Reply)

But they look so cute! And they wash their little noses with their little paws.
(I like anything small and cute; you will come to learn this.) I find it hard to believe domesticated rats are vicious!
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:06, Reply)

wus gud nigguh

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:17, Reply)

laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarevley!

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:27, Reply)

you know what I figured out today?
if you suck in your fat gut your tits perk right up
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:30, Reply)

This is why waist cinchers are so damn good.

(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:32, Reply)

that's cheating

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:35, Reply)

So?
Nothing wrong with that...
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:38, Reply)

I didn't say there was.
Actually, I imagine it depends on how tight you're going for.

I have terrible posture.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:44, Reply)

Attach a couple of straps to it
You have a posture brace.
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:48, Reply)

I'm going to hire a troop of midgets to push on my back

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:57, Reply)

You'll need a couple on the front
Push you forward as well
(stimpy, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:05, Reply)

Apparently, this works on moobs as well.
Or so I've heard anyway.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:35, Reply)

uh huh

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 19:37, Reply)

Evening all persons
Here it is raining and I'm getting wet when I go out for a smoke.

And that's wrong and I blame the BNP.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:03, Reply)

Evening Gadgee!
how's yer fettle?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:09, Reply)

Damp
Yersen'?

(Hang on whilst I bung some more coal in this Babbage machine. Being a technophobe...)
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:12, Reply)

i'm utterly buggered today mate.
the housemove deadline approaches a little too rapidly for my liking!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:50, Reply)

Oh god, I don't envy you moving at all.
I hates it. Hates it!
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:52, Reply)

i've got a kitchen to fit, a bathroom to fit, second fix electrics to do, skirtings and architraves to make and fit...
radiators to fit, boiler to install, unvented hot water cylinder to install, doors to hang, kitchen floor to seal, living room floor to lay, carpets in bedrooms and hall/stairs/landing to fit...

and we move in a week on sunday.

FUCKSOCKS!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:59, Reply)

Please tell me you're not working the next two weeks
or else you might go a bit mental. You poor thing!
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:02, Reply)

well, it's not going to do itself...
it's gonna be a tough 12 days...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:04, Reply)

Gah, I'd help if I could.
You must be epically stressed...
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:06, Reply)

it's no wonder i'm on medication.
but there's nothing quite like a deadline to focus the mind.
or cause it to implode!
LOL
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:09, Reply)

I'd agree with you there, actually; I work best under pressure.
Just a shame it usually nearly drives me mental, too...
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:10, Reply)

i've simply got too much to do in the time.
something will have to give.
i'll be doing a few late shifts.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:17, Reply)

You'll have to I guess, are you your own boss?
That makes it easier.
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:25, Reply)

Yes he is
In case he's buggered off.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:27, Reply)

to quote Bill Hicks...
"the thought that ANYONE could be my boss? i think you see the problem."
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:32, Reply)

I was told I was too stroppy to have a boss when I was 17 or so.
If anything I think I'm stroppier now and for some reason I still have a job.
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:37, Reply)

yeah, i'm a self-employed Plumber with an apprentice.
so i have an advantage i guess.
the problem i find myself facing is that i have VERY high standards. and this work is for myself and my family so i'm not managing to compromise at all.
Bugger.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:29, Reply)

Bah, caught out by your own standards.
Still, the place will be absolutely palatial when you do move in, right?
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:30, Reply)

it's gonna be fooking gorgeous.
i completely gutted the place, absolutely removed every shred of it's previous identity.
all that remains of the original is the lower staircase and one internal wall. the rest is all new.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:37, Reply)

It sounds amazing!
I invoke POIDH when you're properly settled :)
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:38, Reply)

it's a deal!
TBH i'm getting a bit fed up with it now, it's gone on too long.
i'm more tired right now than i have ever been. but it's a strange kind of tiredness.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:40, Reply)

Much obliged!
I bet you're fed up with it, I would be by now - where you can't see anything but what needs doing before it's all done...
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:41, Reply)

right now i'm not sure what to do next.
too much going on in my brain.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:45, Reply)

Disengage brain for a bit.
Works for me.
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:46, Reply)

it's all gone too thin for me over here...
i cannae handle it.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:52, Reply)

And has Gronzo cried off
With a ferret-induced injury?

There was a sign on the cage to the effect that if you poke your finger in these ferrets will vandalise you.

And he got bitten by a ferret!

I was sniggering all the way home with that memory.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:59, Reply)

he was asking for that one! made me chuckle.
and i'm glad you enjoyed MY crispy cake.
you fiend.
you are so definitely gonna pay for that.
and so is Gronzo.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:07, Reply)

Yes, it was a mighty fine crispy cake.
Scoffed on Platform 2 at Preston Station.

A mighty fine cake.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:11, Reply)

so i really got ripped off then?
Grrrrrrrr!
I DEMAND A CRISPY CAKE!
D'YA HEAR ME?
I FUCKING DEMAND A CRISPY CAKE!
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:13, Reply)

Well don't look at me.
Mrs Gronz makes the cakes.

Me and Gronz struck the deal while you were perving over passing Lancias.

I got the cake.

Your loss.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:18, Reply)

i will have my revenge.
i'm a patient man.
what do revenge and crispy cakes have in common?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:26, Reply)

Best taken cold.
Like a sharp blade between the ribs.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:28, Reply)

Precisely!
i love a bit of cold steel...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:30, Reply)

Tony Iomi on Radio 2 right now.
Him and Geezer Butler had the idea of Sabbath in Silloth, believe it or not!

So it's not an absolute wasteland after all.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:36, Reply)

seriously? WTF?
well i never etc.
i'm watching marcus du sautoy investigate consciousness on bbc2. splendid stuff.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:43, Reply)

There you go.
Obviously I keep my steam powered computer in the cellar (because, of course, I've GOT a cellar) and therefore can't keep checking my Reddifusion black and white telly on a regular basis.

Time to retire to my four poster bed as the servants have now warmed the bedpans over the dog grate.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:51, Reply)

okey dokes dude!
catch you next time.
btw how did you get on with the wi ladies?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 20 Oct 2009, 21:54, Reply)

A hoy hoy!
It's fucking freezing here, not even my new slipper sock things can keep it out, and I'm in my flat with the heating on!
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:12, Reply)

I'd recommend
1 - Getting your heating checked.
2 - Closing the window.
3 - Carefully checking your pulse to ensure that you've not died recently.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:14, Reply)

1. Flatmate's heater is working; the one in here is struggling.
2. The windows are always closed; we live on the ground floor and in a chav-infested area.
3. To the best of my knowledge I am not dead, although I am attributing this to the lack of desire to eat people's brains.
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:17, Reply)

Well that's very not good.
Especially as the sages are predicting a very cold winter.

Pleased to hear you're not one of those terrible undead zombies though. They're scamps, those undead zombies.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:28, Reply)

Frightful bounders, yes.
I may have to cocoon myself in fleecy blankets and duvet till the spring comes since my boss would not permit me to hibernate!
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:33, Reply)

Or
You could get your landlord to get the heating serviced.

If it's gas the landlord must get all equipment serviced annually anyway.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:39, Reply)

We have no gas, just these little storage heater things.
And I've lived here nearly 18 months and have never once met my landlord or spoken to him - we do everything through our letting agent.
( Maladicta, Tue 20 Oct 2009, 20:51, Reply)