I'm shitting myself pretty much every minute of every day at the moment
and the only way I know for sure to take the edge of it is a load of pints and a load of bugle.

*punches own face*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:01, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

what's the dealio with the meeting?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:03, Reply)

I emailed my boss at 8:55 yesterday morning
effectively saying 'I like my job (lying through my teeth) and I'm good at it (further lies) but unless you give me a five grand raise immediately I cannot afford to work here, live in my tiny East End flat and support my daughter at the same time. Yes there's a recession on but if I have to sell my flat to survive there's no point in carrying on with this shitty fucking job you tight-fisted Hebrew bastard'



or words to that effect
The meeting is to discuss my requirements...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:07, Reply)

that's quite an email
good luck!

we've been told, by email, that one of our offices is closing and that 30% of the staff in another are being got rid of. no one is shitting themselves here yet because we are really quite busy, but it's not great.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:09, Reply)

thanks mate
It's going to be a long, nervous weekend.

The one thing I have on my side is that (I hope) things cannot get any worse for me. Either I get the raise I need or I sell up and start a new life. Even after I've paid off my eye-watering debts I should still have a good 50 grand left. Not great for a 36 year old with no pension but better than I deserve, the way I've lived. As long as I get to keep my record collection and can pay my maintenance for Eleni I don't really care NB this is a massive lie, I care a shitload but am putting on a brave face as it's all my fault...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)

sounds like it could be a shitload worse mate

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:22, Reply)

True indeed
My poor brother's in negative equity. He bought his house about 5 minutes before prices started dropping. Poor sod. Where I live the area is very central and is constantly being renovated so prices have never gone down, they've just stagnated a bit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)

pretty much same as here
our fixed rate ran out a little while ago and we were concerned we'd be in negative equity. not quite though, but it was close. fortunately we've got a lot to do to the house and its a desirable area
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Mine needs a fairly brisk facelift
Problems being

a) I am fucking shit at DIY and have zero motivation to do any anyway and
b) I can't afford to pay someone else to do it any more

Growing up we had maintenance people to do everything so I never learned the basics from my father. I bloody wish I had, I can tell you
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)

heh
my old man is a DIY master. Never learned anything from him though, except how to slice the ends of your fingers with a stanley knife.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:42, Reply)

Enough money to go out boozing / galavanting
*strokes chin*
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:10, Reply)

Cash withdrawn from the non-maxed credit card
I'm a cunt, you see.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:12, Reply)

I really think you are
either move to somewhere cheaper, get a better job, or chuck your little one off a cliff.

Asking your boss for a payrise when you're on £30,000pa, the bloody cheek of it. I hope he laughs his tits off as he hands you your P45
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)

The job I do,
with the 15 years' experience I have in it, means that were someone else be foolish enough to hire me to do it, my going rate would be nearer to 40k. I've not had so much as an inflationary raise in five fucking years.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Then you'll really have to kick up a fuss
write your demands on the office walls using a red sharpie, and throw your fax machine at the MD
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Ah.
I wrote them on his monitor in shit.

Was this wrong?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)

oh dear
that's a pretty heady combination, and i'm sure it only serves to intensify the feelings of despair and potential doom. i would suggest a few reefers, a bottle of wine and a pipe of DMT to make those fears simply, evaporate....but then probably return quite soon after.

an early night would probably work better
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:25, Reply)

In my current precarious place
I'm staying right away from hallucinogens for the time being.

Maybe tonight I will just have a hot bath, get biblically stoned and play a load of records for the benefit of my cat.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:30, Reply)

sounds good

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)

that sounds like plan
a reefer IN the bath as well, happy days, get browsing the records you haven't played for years and revel in how great they sound, like i done the other day with a load of half man half biscuit 12 inches, after 20 years, they still sound more dynamic than most cd's of today..however, once you have had a few doobs, played a few choice tunes, you look to see that is only 11pm, you might start getting twitchy, one last weekend of excess.....

....by 11:20, you're halfway to your favourite hostelry with the promise of a gak fest ringing in your ears. that's the bit you should try and avoid, if possible.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)

It's like you have webcam trained on my daily life
Uncanny, old son. Uncanny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:41, Reply)

ha
i've upped the number of webcams to four and your snooping ex has just subscribed to the live feed ;-)

seriously though, if you can manage through one night at least, and by rights you should be tired, then saturday morning should see you less stressed and mentally galvanised...plus the fact you had an early night and you now deserve to treat yourself to a 24 hour binge of Montana like proportions!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Sage advice, my friend

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:57, Reply)

I've had many a happy bath with a tankard of beer
a fat reefer and a good book. one of the greatest pleasures in life!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:49, Reply)

I think I make them too hot and/or full
I get all set up, hop in the tub and halfway through smoking a 'number' and having got through half a page of my book, I start spinning out. I'm gonna do a Jim Morrison one of these days...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:52, Reply)

heh
been there. that's where the icy beer comes in handy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 13:54, Reply)

my situation means that those
aquatic based reefers never happen..i would end up getting it wet, then getting more stressed than i was before i started. i usually decant to the garage and play some darts whilst i indulge, the stuff i have absolutely stinks, in a good way of course
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:06, Reply)

naturally
darts and reefers are also a good combo

my mate ended up throwing a dart into his acoustic guitar though. fucking hilarious after the initial shock of thinking it was my brand new one.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)

ye canny beat it, the game of kings.
In all my years i still haven't managed a 180. the mad skillz required to be consistently good at darts is off the scale. I went to see some live darts earlier this year, the atmosphere was also off the scale, Raymond 'barney' Barneveld claimed it was the best reception he had ever had in his career, and i don't doubt it.

I was there as a guest of Virgin, the main sponsors, back-stage passes, the lot.....and after 4 hours of malt whiskey with glayva as a mixer, i ended up putting the hospital into hospitality, and woke up with my head having 6 stitches inserted into it. Apparently I slipped and bashed my head off the ground, quite spectacularly.

Scary stuff though, being knocked out. The missus was ever so proud :-/
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:28, Reply)

sounds eventful!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I'm proud too
Good work. Extremely good work.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:34, Reply)

total fannybaws
more like it...funny thing was, i didn't even a hangover or anything the next day, felt great actually!m although i insisted that had i had a cheeky reefer, i wouldn't have gotten so mangled on the bevvy and disaster would have been averted. smoke is good for applying the booze brakes, keeps things under control.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 14:41, Reply)