Home Sweet Home

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:19, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I got 99 problems but a triflin ass bitch ain't one...
hit me...
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:35, Reply)

If I hit you on the ass, can I be your ass-bitch for the evening?

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:37, Reply)

what's an ass-bitch?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:38, Reply)

Someone who'll hit your ass on demand
and spank it like a pair of bongo-drums.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:40, Reply)

That's not something I generally ask for.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:41, Reply)

Perhaps I can be of more use solving your 99 problems
That's so many problems I can pick and choose which ones I want to solve.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:45, Reply)

go on then

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:48, Reply)

If you list your problems
I can pick one. Only one I can see is an unspanked ass.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:52, Reply)

the spanking would be easier than trying to list 99 pointless problems

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:54, Reply)

* rubs hands together in anticipation *

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:57, Reply)

*holds breath*
*shuts eyes real tight*
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:59, Reply)

* takes a few warm-up swings *

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:02, Reply)

oh just get on with it

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:06, Reply)

Hand-ass contact in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

WHACK!

And just look at those shockwaves ripple through your fleshy buttocks!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:11, Reply)

I'll have you know that I have quite a firm buttocks
I can't make it clap or anything
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:13, Reply)

FIrm on the inside, fleshy on the outside
I've never heard of applauding buttocks, but I have heard of someone using their buttocks to crack open wallnuts.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:26, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUQLQnZiMTI
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:33, Reply)

It's cheating if you're pretending the precussion in the background-music is clapping

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:41, Reply)

ignoring that bit, I'm just saying my cheeks don't swing together like that

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:44, Reply)

Is this something you aspire to
or would that just be an inconvenience?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:47, Reply)

ummm......no
I'm good
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:52, Reply)

If you had fleshy buttocks
You could sit wherever you wanted without feeling uncomfortable.

Your buttocks would just squeeze into the background like a pair of flexible Tetris-pieces designed to fill any gap.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:58, Reply)

A hoy hoy!
I have made brownies for work tomorrow (lacking in any kind of magical green stuff) and will finally have a working washing machine by this time tomorrow, if the guy actually shows up.
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:51, Reply)

oh, share please
*puppy dog eyes*
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:54, Reply)

Share I may indeed, although I will need to save some for the colleagues.
They taste like the best sex you've ever had ever.
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:59, Reply)

Then I don't want them.
All good sex turns into disaster for me so you can keep them.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:00, Reply)

Victory is mine!
*nom*
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:01, Reply)

*sad face*

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:02, Reply)

*offers brownies*
Go on. Come to the dark side, we have ... brownies.
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:05, Reply)

no !

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:05, Reply)

Come over to the dark side this instant!
Don't make me count to three!
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:06, Reply)

I'll come over to the dark side but I dunnut wantcha brownkneees

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:10, Reply)

Good :)
you come to the dark side, and I get to eat brownies. Everyone wins!
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:10, Reply)

Sounds like you're using the special ingredients again.

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:03, Reply)

My special ingredient is a closely-guarded secret.
If I told you, I'd have to kill you. Or at least forcibly exile you to wherever wins this week's QOTW.
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:06, Reply)

As long as I can have just one taste of your brownies first
you can exile me to wherever you want!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:12, Reply)

Sure - catch! *chucks*
You don't need much, they're pretty potent...
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:17, Reply)

* scoffs the lot anyway *
Might as well make the most of my last chance to nom Maladicta's brownies before exile.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:29, Reply)

That you had.
Since I hope for your sake it's not somewhere like Runcorn...
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:50, Reply)

Greetings Mallie
As long as you use your magical brown stuff, it should be OK. Maybe if you sprinkle it on your washing machine, that should fix it.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 19:57, Reply)

I am tempted to bake another batch
just to fling it at the washing machine. Fortunately, Flatmate's mum is a saint and has washed all our clothes and brought them back tonight!
( Maladicta, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 20:00, Reply)

Magical brown stuff, eh?
Well if you're offering it'd be rude to refuse.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 21:55, Reply)

*slopes in quietly*
allright gadgee?
fettle?
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 29 Oct 2009, 22:56, Reply)

Been drinking a bit.
Listing crap for my mate's mum on e-bay.

Otherwise, just as you would expect.

Howard Street?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 23:08, Reply)

Howard Arms?
Edward Street?
Is all good.
been a fucking intense 6 or 7 days and am running on empty.
had to give Gronzo the heave-ho last week cos he keeps choosing fun over work, hence the increased workload.
but the kitchen is bonzer and getting on with 2nd fix sparks, door casings all in, back-moulds and skirtings tomorrow.

then i can finish the central heating and hot water and boiler flue and flooring and a bathroom and and and and and and dn ;cmoliakhn

ahem.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Thu 29 Oct 2009, 23:26, Reply)