My Mrs is coming down tomorrow
do I jump her bones as soon as I see her, or do the 'hugging, kissing and chatting' stuff first?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:48, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Don't say anything
just turn her round and bend her over.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:50, Reply)

and ride her like a horse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:50, Reply)

This is a serious possibility

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Do you have some leather chaps?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Yes we do, old bean

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:53, Reply)

What delightful mental image
*fwaps*

*self loathes*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:54, Reply)

I SAID OLD WOMEN.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:54, Reply)

His mrs
is actually his aunty sandra.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:55, Reply)

isn't that crackhouse?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Berts aunty is the poor mans crackhouse.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Ha!
My poor Auntie Sandra, she'll be gutted when I tell her about this
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:58, Reply)

I tell her about this my barbed penis rips out her innards
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:00, Reply)

I wish
she's gotten well sexy since Uncle Jim died
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Sexy, sexy crackhouse
and her lovely sister-of-my-mothery-ness
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:57, Reply)

I'm not going there again, I'm sorry
Online flirting is my limit these days
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:56, Reply)

Hahaha!
Unexpected serious answer!
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 9:59, Reply)

I might make you the exception that proves the rule

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Only because I'm desperate and would ride you like one of the four horsemen of the apocolypse till you screamed for mercy.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:08, Reply)

I'd love every minute


EDIT haha, just realised horsemen has SEMEN in it
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:15, Reply)

GAH!
That makes no sense in that context, FFS BERT IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE A CLICHE LEARN WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS BEFORE YOU LET IF FALL OFF YOUR FAT FINGERS AND ONTO THE INTERNET.

*unexpected seriousness online*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Get a girlfriend, homo

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 10:15, Reply)