Oh god, I think I've just been homophobic discriminated at work =/
Some guy who is a right cunt at work started complaining about viruses on the computer, and how it's all my fault. I said to him I use my laptop for everything I do, I only use their computers to work.

He then said it was all from gay porn websites (he thinks I'm gay, because I'm not homophobic, so I must be one of 'em), so it has to be me. The conversation went as thus...
Him - "I don't know what you're doing at night on these computers, but it is full of viruses from gay porn websites"
Me - "Oh really? So the virus said the names of the websites they came from?"
Him - "Yeah', bumboys dot com, kissing boys asses dot com, sites like that, that's where the viruses come from."
Me (thinking) "Wow, you really are a biggoted little ignorant old man, you think I'm gay so I go on those websites at work. You're also an unimaginative liar, or a clausit homosexual who doesn't really know much about the internet because I doubt those sites exist. And thirdly, if you can tell those viruses come from those websites, you should go and work for Norton or something."
Me (said) "I use my own computer for everything I do, so it must be someone else"
Him "Nah', it must be you, that's what [manager] said".
Me "Fair enough, he can come and explain it all to me, I don't know very much about this sort of thing"
Him *walks off*

I'm straight, but I'm quite insulted to be honest, on two levels, a "your gay so i'll make up a story about you putting on viruses because of looking at gay porn" one, and on another level, "You look at porn websites that have viruses/ovbousely-pay-porn-websites".

=/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:15, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

get a new job

( well, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:16, Reply)

I'm so looking out for a replacement.
This job makes me SAD FACE every day. Some bits I like, but others I really don't.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:35, Reply)

Go to work in leather chaps and a dog collar.
Really freak the fuckers out.

EDIT: And grow a handlebar moustache!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:20, Reply)

Ohh DiT, can't I just borrow the lovely Flim Flam to come up to work in a red ball-down dress and I'll put on a tux and we can dance a jive under a street light?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:38, Reply)

If you give her 50p and a bunch of grapes
she'll let you hold her hand.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:43, Reply)

OH BOY !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:45, Reply)

Keep asbestos pages open when he appears.
See if he thinks he's going to get asbestosis off your laptop.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:22, Reply)

The amount of people I've worked with who've implied that I'm a bad gay man..
..when I'm a bad straight man.

I've even been asked outright about my sexuality a few times, as if it should make a difference to them.

If you have a slightly kooky sense of humour - like a lot of b3tans - I suspect this will happen a lot.

Mind, I live in the West Midlands. It's not hard to inadvertantly convince someone you are gay, just by not being a massively small-minded cunt.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:28, Reply)

uh-uh
I would have cussed him six ways from sunday
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:29, Reply)

What he did there was very illegal.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:35, Reply)

Gonz should totally gaz Cr3 and ask him to sort it out

(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:42, Reply)

Haha

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:45, Reply)

Tell me where he lives.
I'll bully him IRL.
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:41, Reply)

Simple solution:
Stop going on gay websites at work, fagboy
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 20:01, Reply)

ME THINK
someone doth protesteth... snort. Gayer.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 22:49, Reply)

Perhaps you should get a lawyer then threaten to sue your employer.
Also get a restraining order against the guy.
( Wildheart Baby. Drunken Mess In A Good Way, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 23:48, Reply)

assrape him
that will learn him good.
(knackerz is skinning up, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 2:03, Reply)