Mother swap.
Most of us are loathe to lend each other our books. How about we lend each other our mums.

Mine is old but not bad looking for her age. Not really a fan of cooking but she has very good taste so is helpful for anyone who is looking to decorate their home etc. She has a good sense of humour and she can speak German, (albeit a bit rusty), in case you are looking to learn a new language.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:38, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ooh, I've been wanting to learn German properly
Mine cooks really well and speaks very good French. Also enjoys her fair share of G&Ts and red wine. Fancy a swap?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:41, Reply)

Yay for drunk old women : )

( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Add mine too...
...and you can keep her.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:51, Reply)

That's a point,
I will want mine back. You can have her until I've got the hang of this German-speaking lark but no longer.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:55, Reply)

Of course.
You think I would give my own mother away?
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:56, Reply)

Just wanted to make sure the terms of the agreement were clear -
I promise to return her in mint condition. Well, as good a condition as she was when I got her.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:58, Reply)

I'll check her for damage before we swap.

( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:59, Reply)

I'll drum up a cursory inventory,
but I'll allow for "acceptable wear and tear" on the liver...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:02, Reply)

Mine has been repaired a few years ago, (face-lift) but in quite good nick for her age.
Very good with children and small dogs.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:05, Reply)

Shame I won't be able to take advantage of such skills
Being bereft of both children and small dogs. Unless you count me trying to house-train my flatmate - perhaps she might have more luck than I am at the moment...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Affinaty?
*run*
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:05, Reply)

*chases*
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:08, Reply)

Mine walks a lot
Smokes reefer, cooks great vegetarian food and has a cracking sense of humour. But you can't have her, she's mine.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:43, Reply)

Not even for the weekend?

( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:45, Reply)

There was someone on talk once who had a really hot mum.
When we found out he left, quickly. I'll swap with him.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:45, Reply)

Sure.
Mine's a bit quiet, doesn't speak much and will never tell you to tidy your room or do the dishes.
You could say she's a bit of an "earth mother" these days
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:52, Reply)

Haha!
Nice!

Mine too
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Mine's tiny
but 'padded'.
She makes the best roast potatoes, but her veg is a bit mushy.
She's verging on the OCD with the tidiness, but it's handy because she enjoys cleaning friends' and family members' houses.
You initially think she's a bit boring but she actually has a bizarre/sick sense of humour.
She has beautiful smiley eyes and a pleasant singing voice.
She's VERY short-tempered. Do NOT speak to her when she is watching Casualty.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:53, Reply)

mine is a dork, incredibly eager to please yet incredibly awkward in social situations and personal issues
when I found out the ex was getting married she said "Oh, that's nice. I mean...not for you..."

but she can cook pretty well and will keep you in stock with cookies, pie, fudge, etc etc
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Mine's a lesbian
She can speak Ancient Greek and is an expert on plants and gardens. Every single one of my girlfriends (and pretty much all of my friends) found her intimidating, but I don't see that. She's a big softie really, she's just rather 'keen' and an intellectual.

*shrugs*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Ooo! sounds interesting.
Especially the lesbian part.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:01, Reply)

My mother has been likened to Mrs Goggins from Postman Pat
she is quite fragile looking, but is an excellent cook of all manner of things. She has a fine singing voice, can play classical guitar and is very arty.

She can make excellent ceramic stuff, including throwing bowls etc. on a wheel. she draws very well, can sew by hand or on machine a huge variety of things from sails to ballgowns. She can also knit very well.

oh yeah, she is incredibly green fingered. Can grow anything without it dying.

Likes gin, sherry, wine, martini, guinness
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:00, Reply)

My mum is great.
Always knows what to say, even if it's nothing. Great at hugs. Excenent cook, always a laugh.

I've got nothing but high praze for what she does for our organisation at Gonz Industrys... And she ain't up for swapsies.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:09, Reply)

What will her position be at the Em-Paul-ium?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:17, Reply)

Head of all matters releating to unreleated stuff.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:33, Reply)

Do you sell otters?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Only the fur, as it's a by-product of our dog food for Queen Liz's corgies.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 15:54, Reply)

My mum is a former British Prime Minister
Who wants her?
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 16:28, Reply)

YM
is Tony Blair?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 16:31, Reply)

She used to sing me lullabies to help me to sleep as a child
I still find myself nodding off when I hear 'things can only get better' by d:ream
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 17:00, Reply)