Got home security? Got access to kids?
Saturday was spent looking after my nieces, tasked by my brother-in-law to help them write to Father Christmas. Easy you’d imagine. No.

Take 3 over excited girls, aged 5, 3 and 11 months, give them some paper, glitter and glue and tell them to write/draw/scribble to Santa and you’ve got 2 overactive kids and a baby who just cries.

Cunning plan? Identify in the corner of the room that infra-red alarm censor and tell them that whenever it flashes red, that’s either Santa or one of his helpers watching them to see if they are being good or not.

2 hours of near silence ensued (well, bar the crying baby).

When was the last time you conned some kids?

Alternatively, who is the greatest ever soap opera character?

PERT!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:32, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

tits or gtfo

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:33, Reply)

and i was always told that the egg in egg fried rice was chicken
oh how they mustve lol'd
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:34, Reply)

i don't see what's so funny about it

( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:37, Reply)

yeah me either, thats like, tantamount to child abuse or something

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:38, Reply)

No more child abuse than telling them about Santa
Most parents who have had to control/deal with/make happy/nurture/etc two young girls and a baby would understand this and probably be supportive (as long as it is not done all the time) especially for an unexperienced uncle or aunt.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:12, Reply)

what's all this about then?

( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:14, Reply)

lol

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:24, Reply)

im talking about egg rice here man, its just not chicken

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:25, Reply)

just when i was starting to enjoy offtopic too

( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:36, Reply)

its alright, im here

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:39, Reply)

i've been holding the fort here all day without you

( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:40, Reply)

working and shit innit, i hope youre alright im totally here now

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:41, Reply)

i'm abandoning the place now i think,
it's always dead after 6pm
( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:42, Reply)

yer strangely enough its when i turn up...
whats with this guy, why ent he replying
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:44, Reply)

we hijacked his thread and talked a load shit
scared him off probably
( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:46, Reply)

oh man wat, my reply was totally relevant to his interests

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:47, Reply)

have you seen the length of his qotw answers?
he probably started typing a reply to you right after you posted it, he'll be done soon enough, just be patient
( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:51, Reply)

nah im eating steak and potatoes
i have no time to click. i fucking overcooked my steak, no blood :(((
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:52, Reply)

my curry was rubbish,
i don't even like curry, why did i order it
( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:54, Reply)

what sort of cunt dont like curry, i hate you so much right now

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:57, Reply)

whatever,
i just realized that i've got a bottle of vodka
( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:58, Reply)

jog on then

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:00, Reply)

can't find a shot glass now

( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:00, Reply)

bottle innit

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:03, Reply)

shot glass?
drink it out of the bottle
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:04, Reply)

that's all the encouragement i need,
thanks
( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:05, Reply)

That's exactly how I feel with about 90% of all the take aways I get.
I'm gonna have a ping vegtable lasagnia tonight, probably.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:57, Reply)

ding love
its ding
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:58, Reply)

Ohh =(
I'm totally gonna try and live like a pourper by buying some frozen mince, frozen veg and see how long it'll last, I reckon i'll mostly be on the mexican food for the week with that stuff.

Aside the John Lewis:Oxford Street sushi Russingleton is bringing back for me from his trip up the west end.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:00, Reply)

shit man get yourself to iceland its a whole world of crazy
ive got a whole months dinners for like, £11 or something. i dont think ive ever seen so much food
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:02, Reply)

Wanna go to one on friday?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:05, Reply)

no

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:11, Reply)

instant noodles are where it's at man
10p a meal
( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:05, Reply)

Not quite at that level yet.
I'll eaither be at that level in january, or i'll be a millionare.

Depends if I can get myself motivated.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:07, Reply)

i order them, eat a little then regret it
every time
( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:58, Reply)

If I'm out with someone and we're goin' for a curry, i'ld find something to eat, but I'ld rather go Thai or Chinese.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:02, Reply)

oh man i totally have a recipe to make african beef curry
oh gosh I've never made a curry
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:06, Reply)

*cough*, 'we'.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:55, Reply)

shut up im eating my dinner

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:57, Reply)

you're one of the locals though, it's not the same

( well, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:57, Reply)

Anywhere I lay my hat is my home.
I'm the origional little hobo on this place.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:58, Reply)

For legal reasons, I politely decline to awnser eaither of these questions, and I wish to issue a statement of "no comment" and "Can I have the middle one's number?".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 18:56, Reply)

Laura Palmer.
I can still picture her now.
Wrapped in plastic.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:05, Reply)

christ I'm always surrounded by bad ass kids, nothing gets them to calm down
except for this one time I slipped a massive pair of headphones on the young'n and he didn't move for like three blissful minutes

I've taken to spraying water on the middle one, it's not child abuse see cos he's not my child and he likes it, tries to catch the water in his mouth
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:15, Reply)

alright kristine

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:16, Reply)

alright sweet sexy thing

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 23 Nov 2009, 19:51, Reply)