Happy Thanksgiving
To all our Merkin friends.

And in other news, what have you got to be thankful about?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 7:44, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Near miss
Yesterday, miles from anywhere up on the Pennines, my son skidded off the road in the bad weather. Luckily the car only rolled once and we are both OK. Thank goodness for farmers with fucking huge tractors, I'll never complain about being stuck behind one again.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 7:47, Reply)

I'm not
shitting as much blood as yesterday.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:15, Reply)

Christ!
That's two pretty downer posts, but still happy results so it's all good!

I'm knocking off early today to go on the pop. Long weekend ahead. Happy days.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:34, Reply)

I awoke this morning thinking 'Fuck, it's only Thursday'
then realised it's actually Friday. I know it's actually Thursday but I'm not working tomorrow. So I'm thankful for muslims and their occasional religious holidays.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:36, Reply)

I have breasts.
I'm always thankful about that.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:39, Reply)

And what smashing breasts they are.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:44, Reply)

They're ok.
They've never let me down so far.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:51, Reply)

Woo, loyal breasts
The best of all the breasticles.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:54, Reply)

I haven't had my balls
ripped off like that chap in the paper.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:45, Reply)

Indeed, another thriller from Dundee
What the fuck do they put in the water up there?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:09, Reply)

Tonic wine?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:17, Reply)

Tonic wine and crystal meth,
the best of all the mixers.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:19, Reply)

A mate of mine
did meth in Las Vegas. He went in a strip bar and didn't come out of there til 2pm the next day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Not in a body bag i hope?
The media keep banging on about it, but I have yet to be offered it, or met anyone who has some, unfortunately.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I've had it, fucking years ago
mixed with mdma in a pill - Fantasys they were called, and they lasted for 24hrs.

Never.a.fucking.gain.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:28, Reply)

lolz
I will take that comment as a warning, advice and a statement of regret. The main danger would be that it would may turn you into a walking hard-on, which may be a fun for first hour, but after 15 hours of frotting, could be problematic.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:33, Reply)

the only 'fantasty' involved
is that you fantasise about the ability to sleep, and about killing all of the world's tweeting birds, whilst sweating like a rapist.

wonderful stuff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:56, Reply)

my Mrs is designing the new winery for Buckfast Abbey, where they make the stuff of legends

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:04, Reply)

no WAY?
Really? That's hilarious.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:15, Reply)

I believe it is being built at the moment
Mrs V is structural engineer.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Cool job, lovely wine.
In all honesty, i have never actually tasted Buckie or Commotion Lotion to call it by it's more appropriate name, and that is how I plan on keeping it.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:23, Reply)

I'm planning to get my dirty drinking chums together and get thoroughly sauced on the stuff
will see if I can get the other half to get the monks to give her some for free
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

bizarrely
all the Shoreditch Barleys are drinking it these days, in a bid to be 'edgy', I'll be bound. 'Commotion lotion' gets gratefully added to my canon.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

You are fucking shitting me.
Buckfast in Shoreditch.... pure Nathan Barley, the boundary between fact and fiction blurred and hazy. If it tastes anything like another famous tonic wine, Eldorado, then it is absolutely vile. Viscous, cloying, horribly alcoholic and in no way pleasant. They are fooling themselves, and nobody else. Probably retching it all back up a few hours later.

They won't be doing it right unless they are drinking it straight from the litre bottle in a kids playpark. That will be next though.... theme pubs in Shoreditch with the beer garden turned into a broken glass strewn kids park, where the hooting Henry's and braying Bartholemews kick fuck out of each other after the drink is finished.

Totally authentic.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:44, Reply)

That I'm not being bummed to death in a Turkish prison
Other than that, nothing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:50, Reply)

I don't live in a country founded by religious maniacs who left their homeland because it wasn't repressive enough for them.
That's a pretty good start.
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:50, Reply)

I'm thankful because
I've got food in ma belly
And a licence for ma telly.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:57, Reply)

No Bush...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:03, Reply)

waxed, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:17, Reply)

Shaved....
...balls like prunes.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:54, Reply)

My mummy loves me.

( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 9:06, Reply)

I'm thankful...
that I'm not a Merkin

[edit] damn you stuj, beat me to it.
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:20, Reply)

(I lied about the blood-shitting)

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)