I got arrested once.
Apparently someone pulled my old baggage neighbour's Sky satellite cable off her wall late the previous night, which thrashed her Sky box around in her living room. I was arrested the next day on suspicion of criminal damage but they let me off. I was so shitfaced I couldn't remember a fucking thing for about nine hours. Spending six hours in Aylesbury nick with the worst hangover ever is no longer on my list of things to do before I die.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:14, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

"someone"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:19, Reply)

Wonderfully transparent.
I suspect that Noel went round in a glasses/moustache/newspaper disguise when he did it.
( thealternativefact, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:21, Reply)

Talking like a 'laydee' in an operatic voice

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:23, Reply)

Apparently she saw me lying in the communal driveway in front of our terrace
for about half an hour at two in the morning, not disguised or affecting a feminine voice or nuffink.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:27, Reply)

If she's got SKY TV,
then she deserves to have her whole house pulled down and to be subsequently shoved into a pot of boiling oil while Gonz rapes her head with a mop.
( thealternativefact, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:30, Reply)

I'll suggest this to my ex-housemate who still lives next to the miserable cunt.
I'm sure she'll agree it's the only way to be sure.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:37, Reply)

Oh, I certainly suspect I did it, yeah.
But I couldn't say for sure.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:23, Reply)

yeah, it's shit isn't it?
The difference is that you didn't quite know whether you'd pulled off the sattelite dish and so really shouldn't have been in the police station. I knew I'd acted out of character, I remember hitting the bouncer and then the police man. I remember three policemen trying to put handcuffs on me and fighting against them. Not a good story to tell my kids
( no longer a user, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:23, Reply)

Oh, I dunno.
I was mortified for a few weeks after I was arrested but I look back on it now and it's something I can find no small amount of mirth in.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:30, Reply)

yes
but it's still new to me, so i'm still in the mortified stage
( no longer a user, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:32, Reply)

Good luck finding the mirth.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:38, Reply)

If it feels like everything is getting too much for you
just promise us you won't, you know, just don't do "that" thing you know, talk to someone first, you've got kids to think about, it's not fair on them, just don't do it.

McDonalds just isn't worth it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:40, Reply)

pfft my god

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Dec 2009, 21:44, Reply)