Good morning b3taland
I am all on my lonesome today (or this morning at least), and have a mountain of work to do. And it's not even interesting.

Today's question:

you have one day left on the planet before your death sentence is fulfilled. freedom to do whatever (legally) accompanied by prison guards. what do you do in your final 24h?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 8:45, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Catch up on some sleep, probably.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 8:52, Reply)

I'd go and sit at my favourite spot by the river.
I'd call people who were near enough to come and join me, listen to some music, look at some photos. I'd phone everyone not near enough and try and include them (webcam or something).
Then I'd say bye to everyone, have a bit of time to myself, watch the sunset, turn round, rip the guards' windpipes out and run off into the night to steal a new identity.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 8:52, Reply)

I love google
www.bombshock.com/weapons_combat/fighting/how_to_kill_someone_with_your_bare_hands.html/comment-page-1/
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:05, Reply)

No sweat...
:)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:07, Reply)

'...these should work best for the average person...'
*blank look*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:09, Reply)

Groin: A VERY vulnerable spot. If left open, get it with knee hard, and he’ll buckle over very fast.

(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:20, Reply)

Are the prison guards attractive?
This would be important in my choice.
( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I never thought about that
Wrong kind of screw as far as I'm concerned.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:12, Reply)

nope
unfortunatley you get stuck with the ugliest guys/girls on the team - designed to prevent this kind of thing
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Ok then.
It's re-runs of Father Ted and all the chips I can eat.
( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:28, Reply)

cry like a sissy girl

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:15, Reply)

Probably right...
...and maybe offer the guards sexual favours to let me sneak out.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Try and get out of it by blaming Wet Ham Man

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:27, Reply)

It's all his fault, Monty.
Why won't they believe me?!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:29, Reply)

FREE THE BUCKINGHAMSHIRE (right?) ONE!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Oops, yes, right.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:56, Reply)

I'm sorry but it wasn't me
I was far too busy shagging my cousin (apparently)
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:15, Reply)

The old 'shagging my cousin' defence, eh?
That doesn't wash with me for a second, sunshine.


I was shagging your cousin at the time and you definitely weren't there. You were right about her tits though, fair play mate...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:28, Reply)

One Last Day?
I'd call all of my friends and family and take them to a place that's very important to me (I've got 24h left - surely I can be selfish?).

We'd sit by the water looking out to sea and eat fish and chips, drinking non-alcoholic drinks and enjoying music that we make together.

End the night with a big fire on the beach and then spend one last night with wife, daughter and dog.

Go to my execution the following morning with a contented look and a smile on my face.
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:14, Reply)

Gay.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:57, Reply)

I get spending a last night with your wife,
but your daughter and your dog as well? That's just wrong.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 11:01, Reply)

For Clarity
In this fantasy, the night would be spent playing on the beach, talking and enjoying life as a family chap for one last time. None shall sleep...
(Medical_Male Say aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 11:06, Reply)

But seriously, non-alcoholic drinks?
The last chance you'll ever have to get your daughter pissed, spin her round fifteen times and laugh as she charges into a sand dune?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 11:07, Reply)

I would...
...build a time machine and go back into the past to frame Wet Ham Man; and while I am there maybe have sex with my grandmother in a DeLorean.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:23, Reply)

all of that in 24h?
that's quite impressive - and if your time machine is a fail, it might just kill you anyway :)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:24, Reply)

Exactly...
...no need to test drive as I am going to die anyway.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Wank. Drink cider. Eat roast meals.
repeat for 24 hours.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 15 Dec 2009, 10:56, Reply)