I think the kindest thing to do should they fall ill
is to club them to death with a cricket bat
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:17, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

you say 'cricket bat, I say 'penis'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Those things have got claws (cats that is, not penisess'ses'ss's)
I say soften it up with the bat before going in with da schlong
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Tom cat penises
Have barbs on them. Which is why cats make so much noise when they're shagging. The barbs point backwards to stop the queen escaping the tom once he's in there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

It's the other way round with me.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

when you have an iron shaft
and a titanium helmet (as I do), these trifling matters are of no concern...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

club them to death with a cricket bat throw them through a window
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Unless it's a mexican gliding cat

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Those are the hardest to kill

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Not if you build a wind farm near their caves.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Yes!
Good plan, it's environmentally friendly and it chops them up real small.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

ready to make into sausage

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Yes
their only weaknesses are weak thermals and low yielding financial products, one has to be very cunning and drunk to catch one.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)