Where's Enzyme when you need him?
Moral question for everyone.

I have two cats who I love dearly, (even though I complain about them constantly). They're getting on a bit now and I've been thinking about their inevitable demise. Whilest I would love for them to live a lot longer, I do not wish them to live with an illness that would put me in debt with vets bills. Am I evil in deciding it would be better to have them put down should they get cancer for example, (after all they've had a good innings), rather than find myself in debt keeping them alive a bit longer? I think I would be more willing to fork out the dosh if they were still young.

Discuss.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:12, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's not just the money
Prolonging an animal's life is not always the nicest thing to do anyway.
You wouldn't need to feel guilty, whether money was a factor or not.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:16, Reply)

This is equally true of humans

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)

It's when people whine about
the NHS saying "why can I buy this drug privately but not get it on the NHS, it's putting money before peoples lives" and you want to smash their faces and say "YES, YES IT FUCKING WELL IS, THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO DO IT! You can only compare like with like, so you have to make a cold calculating decision as to how much someone's life is worth so that you can compare that with the cost of the drug. And most of these drugs are so expensive and offer such limited benefit that it isn't good value to provide them so that one person may live three months longer but twenty people die because the hospital has less beds."
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

The NHS don't put a limit on the amount they'd pay for a cure.
They put a limit on the amount they'd pay for treatment.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:26, Reply)

That's what I said
It's assessed against how much more life someone will get, and that life is converted to an amount of money to make the comparison.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

what about pet insurance?
if you get it before they get ill it might be worthwhile
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:17, Reply)

It will be quite expensive as the cats are already old.
I couldn't afford it when they were younger.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)

I think the kindest thing to do should they fall ill
is to club them to death with a cricket bat
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:17, Reply)

you say 'cricket bat, I say 'penis'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)

Those things have got claws (cats that is, not penisess'ses'ss's)
I say soften it up with the bat before going in with da schlong
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Tom cat penises
Have barbs on them. Which is why cats make so much noise when they're shagging. The barbs point backwards to stop the queen escaping the tom once he's in there.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

It's the other way round with me.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

when you have an iron shaft
and a titanium helmet (as I do), these trifling matters are of no concern...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

club them to death with a cricket bat throw them through a window
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

Unless it's a mexican gliding cat

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Those are the hardest to kill

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Not if you build a wind farm near their caves.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:26, Reply)

Yes!
Good plan, it's environmentally friendly and it chops them up real small.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

ready to make into sausage

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Yes
their only weaknesses are weak thermals and low yielding financial products, one has to be very cunning and drunk to catch one.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

It's also important to consider
whether or not the cats are in pain or discomfort. I've known people who kept their cats alive even though they were in great pain just so they could be with them longer.

It's not an easy question.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:18, Reply)

why don't you insure them?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:19, Reply)

They're too old now.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

One of our cats had a Thyroid problem which would have cost something like £40,000 to fix.
It needed radiotherapy or something. We didn't bother, she lasted about another year and was perfectly happy just ridiculously hyper the whole time and ate about twice as much as she did before.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:24, Reply)

If I was dying
I would kind of like to live longer, as long as that time was spent being able to do stuff, if it was going to mean wheezing or limping and being in pain all the time then I'd rather just toddle off.

But, since cats don't have aspirations like we do, they aren't going to know any different. Cats don't put things off, you never see a cat going "I might jump on the shed roof next week, but only once I've got all this bottom licking out the way and i've done a poo in next doors garden" and then next week they're going "Hmmmm, looks like I've got some carpet to claw, better not do the shed roof thing until tomorrow, or maybe monday".

So in summary, give me twenty quid and i'll hit them with a shovel for you.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

cat bully

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:24, Reply)

To be honest I can see them living to a ripe old age.
They've never been ill. They're well fed, wormed and regularly de-flead. They're about 12 years old.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

you might squeeze another 6 years out of them
like a well rolled tube of toothpaste
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Get one of those metal rollers
that crimps the end. And attach it to their tails.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Like you get on tins of corned beef.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

he's talking about the device you attach to toothpaste tubes to get all the paste out

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:35, Reply)

They are much the same thing, no?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:26, Reply)

They're only 12?
Stop wishing them dead, just because you want to go on a luxury cruise.
With Reg Holdsworth.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Haha!
I like to plan ahead is all.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:25, Reply)

I'll be keeping an eye on those cats
You don't have a lot of loose change do you?
Cats can choke on pennies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

Only if you throw them at the window first.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

My cat lived to be 16
and was never ill. She just curled up in front of the Rayburn and died one day.

But if she had been ill I'd have pitched her, the scraggy wee shit.
( Peej, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

No wonder she died
if you put her in front of some killer laser beam.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

the important question is
how are you going to cook them once they are dead?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:20, Reply)

I'm making them into slippers.

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:22, Reply)

wise move
you'll get the benefit for longer.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:23, Reply)

You have to keep rhe
heads on the front of the slippers and a tail in the back.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I'm keeping the heads on.
But no tails. I might trip over them.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:36, Reply)

but you can wrap them around
your ankles to keep warmer.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)

You should make them into hot water bottles!
Although it may be odd puring bouling hot water into their anuses
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

I had one of my old cats put to sleep
She had a kidney tumour and was peeing all over the house. There was nothing the vet could have done to ease the discomfort she was in, so it was the kindest thing to do. She was about 16 years old, so a good innings for a moggy. I was in the surgery with her when she had the injection, and it was very quick - took about a minute for her to drift off.

Then I threw her through a window.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Why do we need Enzyme?
Is someone thinking of putting him to sleep?
( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:28, Reply)

cunts

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

He's into moral dilemmas isn't he?

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

Yes, I know.
I was being as funny as psychochomp.
( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

No, she needs Enzyme to tell her what God would want.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

She wants to fuck him

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I'm not into the hippy types.
Edit - Oh you mean Enzyme. I thought you meant God. Ha!
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I consider myself to be quite the hard bastard.
But wept like a baby when another cat of mine years died in my arms years ago.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

I shall be like this when Al finally goes.

( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

goes comes
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

I always cry when he comes.
I've barely had a chance to get my knickers off.
( thealternativefact, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I'll record you a special message
to listen to after I'm gone.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Is he getting stuffed?
He'd like that.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Will spunk set hard

or will the stuffer need to eat loads of plaster of paris beore the deed?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

ah, I had to take my cat to have him put down
the vet injected him with something to help him sleep and told me I could pet him and hold him until he did, I balled my bloody eyes out

really really fucking terrible
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Should have seen me when the hamster went!
But when the 2nd hamster went, I was on Prozac and my ex had just moved out, and the cat was chuffed, and I just didn't care enough.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

My parents cat is 20!

He is bald down one side, can't jump as well as he used to and slepps even more than other cats, but he is still happy so he'll soldier on for a nother Christmas where I will dress him in ribbons until he makes his grumpy face!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:29, Reply)

You could always give them the blue injection
and then have 'em stuffed. That way, they'll never get older, they'll never incur vets bills, they'll never need feeding, won't use a litter tray, nor will they claw your sofa.

And you, on the other hand, will have a handy coffee table/pouffe/backscratcher/mop/emergency loo brush. Everybody wins!

Please note that DiT does not endorse killing household pets in order to use them as footstools, or any of the above suggestions
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:30, Reply)

if they get a red injection

do they wake from their cat matrix?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:31, Reply)

lol at this

( Peej, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:11, Reply)

My dad predicts my future to be full of stuffed cats,
my mother's pearls, and an upright piano.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:33, Reply)

Will this be some sort of wierd stuffed animal Bordello?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Apparently, yes.
And the cats will all have squinty eyes.
This is what my dad says.
He says I'll sit in my mother's pearls in their from room, bashing on the piano, singing to all the stuffed cats that have had their eyes set wonky.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:35, Reply)

This is the stuff of nightmares

I also imagine there will be lashings of Gin
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:36, Reply)

Of course
and cough linctus.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

5) Profit

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

Eh?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:39, Reply)

is your did euphemising that your mother is going to jizz round your neck?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:37, Reply)

You know that when he was buying them...
he emailed me "Do you think your mother would like a pearl necklace for her anniversary?"
and I replied "You dirty bastard"
and it took him a while to realise...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

hehehe
good work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)

he sent back:
"You disgust me. You're not too old for cot death. Watch your back."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:44, Reply)

your dad sounds awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:45, Reply)

yeah but what was he gonna do to my back?
More pearls????
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:46, Reply)

let's hope not
that'd be kinda gross
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:49, Reply)

Yes
I went there...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:50, Reply)

you fucked your dad?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Vomits.
It's ok because he's only my cousin really.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:52, Reply)

the girl has standards
good stuff

you should head down here for a 3-way
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:58, Reply)

Oh my god
I just made ectoplasm
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:59, Reply)

spiritual
I like it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:14, Reply)

Er
Yes.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:19, Reply)

Water/Laptop interface achieved.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

This is initially confusing!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:38, Reply)

I'm of the opinion that if they've had a good innings
and the condition they have is not curable, to prolong their life just because you don't want them to die is rather cruel.
Having them put down if they are in pain or discomfort would be the kindest thing to do.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:32, Reply)

I'm in a lot of pain right now due to
some lower back issues. I keep hearing my daughters whispering about quality of life and how easy it would be to remove all my pain forever. They keep trying to give me sleeping pills and scotch.

"Come on dad, just take this bottle of pills and drink the liter of scotch, you will feel much better, but just for the future, where do you keep the life insurance papers? Not for right now of course, yes, just for the future. Now take the whole bottle as the pills are very weak."

(I've told them I changed the will and all the money will go to the b3ta moderators).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:41, Reply)

Don't forget your bestest British B3ta buddy.
I knew I'd strike it lucky at some point if I was just nice to everyone on here.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:44, Reply)

I would never forget you.
Are you still going to send me that special cake you said you would bake just for me and no one else?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:47, Reply)

The one with the file in so you can escape from America?

( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:54, Reply)

Thats it,
the solid gold file so I can afford a first class ticket. (You are too nice!)
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:19, Reply)

I'd ask if you will support me along with your cats
but I see how you treat the poor dears and I'm worried if I got a slight cold, you woudl bash me with one of your cats to save doctor bills.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:25, Reply)

I value human life a little more.
Especially if you don't shed hair.
( girlinthehole, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:28, Reply)

God help me if I start to go bald.
(If I start shaving my head you will know I'm in trouble.)
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:31, Reply)

I fucking don't

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:34, Reply)

I think the answers it
"I do not wish them to live with an illness that would put me in debt with vets bills." see, you've already decided!

Cats are moochers anyway. Get a tortoise, it will outlive you. No worries, then!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 14:53, Reply)

Less litter issues too.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:15, Reply)

They are really slow when chasing string
or the lights from laser pointers.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:23, Reply)

Ha ha
Fucking hell you'd need the patience of a saint. Imagine the poor cunt chasing the sparrows out yer garden?!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Tue 22 Dec 2009, 15:46, Reply)

Fucking hell.
I only just woke up and am laughing at all the "throw through a window" references.

The ex hubby and I had 2 cats, and one of them was seriously ill. He refused to have him put down until he was screaming on the vets table, obviously in pain. I was the one that had the vet put him down.

If they get sick, then yes, put them to sleep, but if they're happy as a clam until such time as they get sick, leave them be.

or throw them through a window and force a penny down their throats
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 22 Dec 2009, 18:10, Reply)