Disappointing news, old chap.
Not a fucking sausage: we behaved perfectly well the whole time. My brother did let rip a loud and extremely pungent fart during Chirstmas dinner, but there was no vomiting or drug-related breakdowns at all. Must try harder.

How was it with you daughter on the big day? Fucking ace, I'll be bound.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 9:46, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Oh man, it was great.
The clothes I bought her to wear Christmas day were too bloody small so that fucked that, but she was happy and eloquent and great company. We got fed and watered and gifted-up and delivered home content. So year, it kicked ass! Glad to hear you got to spend with with your little'n too.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Grand. Most pleased for you both.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 9:57, Reply)

You two going on make me feel like I want to get my own daughter.

( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Hmmmm.
Should we use this power for good, or evil?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Wotcha mate.
I have to say that despite the awful, awful shit, court and massive expense, I wouldn't not have my daughter for anything.

I was the most un-child-wanting man on earth until I had one.

Go on - nick one from a hospital, see if you like it. You can always return it if not...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Nah! the feeling doesn't last long, thank God.
Luckily the desire to be able to fornicate in any room of the house at the drop of a hat overpowers any maternal urges.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:08, Reply)

Is that purely theoretical
or are you GETTING SOME COCK now?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:14, Reply)

No and I doubt I ever will again but it's the theory that it could happen which is important.

( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:43, Reply)

It just makes me feel like Monty and Noel should continue with their civil partnership...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:31, Reply)

Actually
I got a very saucy text from an extremely fit Polish girl on Xmas Day. She's 15 years younger than me so there's no future in it, but I am sorely tempted to have a physically rewarding dalliance with her.

But I am in self-imposed celibacy mode at the moment - women have been the cause of all my life's woes - and I am surprising myself when I say I'm really not that bothered.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:40, Reply)

Yeah, steer clear mate
I only really want it with someone when I'm with someone.
Every time I get it from someone I'm not with (even if it was 'amazing'), within hours I'm thinking either "Leave, you disgust me..." or "Leave, *I* disgust me..."

It int worf it. God gave us hands.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:45, Reply)

*Sighs*
I know you're right. She is very attractive in an Eastern-European slutty way, though, and EXTREMELY complimentary about me.

It's very flattering to know I've 'still got it'.

Luckily for me she doesn't know that when I say 'it', I mean 'genital herpes'....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:54, Reply)

Haha
Yeah, as long as you know you wouldn't run short if you wanted somw, then you're better off refusing til your head can be bothered.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Could you package her up and post her to me?
I could do with some dalliance.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:46, Reply)

No problem
Gaz me your address.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 10:51, Reply)

You want one of mine?
CHEAP?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 29 Dec 2009, 13:15, Reply)