Anyone here play the tenor sax?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8455535.stm

If so, I need to organise a band to go along to this and play "Yakkety Sax" (aka the Benny Hill music) in the background.

Any takers? Alternatively, can anyone else suggest some inappropriate songs to expand the setlist? I've already added the Clown music and the theme from The Archers to the list...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:38, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

'Sweat Loaf' by the Butthole Surfers

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Must admit I'd never heard that one before
"Locust Abortion Technician" is probably the best album title I've heard for a long time.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

They are a stupendously good band
Utterly original and completely deranged. There's a superb DVD of them that really gives the flavour of what they were about.

CLUE: absolutely SHIT-LOADS of LSD.

Gibby Haynes is a unique man. Love them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:52, Reply)

This sounds more intriguing
After hearing the name and reading a couple of less than flattering reviews, I'd written them off as just another snotty american punk band. Shows what I know, eh?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

It's not easy listening but well worth sticking at.
Genuinely experimental - I can't think of another band that they sound remotely like. Part of this is due to their technical incompetence but that very lack of traditional skill makes for some really weird music that technical session musicians could never make no matter how hard they tried.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Hahahahaha!
Have you any idea how bollox that statement is?
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:07, Reply)

is the answer 'not in the slightest'?
I'm of medium ability on the guitar and trying to work out what the fuck they're doing on their records is completely beyond me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:08, Reply)

we should totally get mashed and jam
I reckon we could create some outrageously awesome noise
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Don't forget
Scouse Patsy on BVs ;)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:12, Reply)

as if I could!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:17, Reply)

*yodels*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I agree. It would be excellent.
Maybe I'll head west sometime and annoy you in your natural habitat...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:25, Reply)

that'd be the best plan
that way we would have access to my full compliment of instruments and amps.

you could guest on the red squirrel / grey squirrel scenario part 2
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I would be honoured.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:30, Reply)

it rocks quite a lot more than the other one
so far at least. and it has a good industrial metal / drum and bass bit going on
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Sounds splendid

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I think it's down to the way it's worded
I can see what you're getting at, viz, trained session musicians would have learnt all the standard "rules" of music and therefore that kind of thing wouldn't have come to them naturally.

But Blousey's got a point - I do remember one of those "backing singers" from The Human League being interviewed about her vocal on their one hit, where she manages to come out with "the best singers don't always have the great voices." Seriously. Without a hint of irony.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Great vocalists are not always great singers....
...would be a truer statement.

And for that matter great singers are not always great vocalists.

(My paradox glands hurt.)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:56, Reply)

It would.
John Lee Hooker is testament to that. Amazing voice, but would be advised against trying anything technically challenging.

Tom Waits is a more contentious one: very capable singer who chose to rough up his voice and sing like a drunkard, I'd say, but many might disagree.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Isn't technical incompitance just another way of saying they can't play their instruments?
Or do they not play their instruments well in such a way that makes them unique?
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:13, Reply)

lack of technical skill doesn't necessarily translate to not being able to play
Hendrix wasn't a technical player by any means. whereas someone like Dave Gilmour is all about precision and technicality. both great guitarists (shut up monty) in completely different ways
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I get your point now.

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Gilmour is an excellent guitarist
and a perfect example to make your point.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:29, Reply)

I was going to suggest Joe Satriani or Steve Vai
but thought I'd better go with someone who people are likely to have heard of. Plus, I fucking love Dave Gilmour's style.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:32, Reply)

He's the best thing about that band post Barrett
He also did amazing things to help Barrett out when he lost it - a really good unselfish human being.


Waters, however....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:37, Reply)

I need to read a biog of him really
sure it would be interesting

waters is a tool of the first order
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:43, Reply)

And he was instrumental
in launching the career of sultry songstress, Kate Bush.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:47, Reply)

if you made them sit a music exam they would fail utterly
but similarly a technically skilled musician would have the so-called 'rules and regulations' of music so ingrained in them that they would find replicating that style as impossible as the Buttholes would in trying to pass an exam.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

LETS MOCK ALL FREE PUBLIC ART

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:48, Reply)

if we can't mock free public art then what can we mock?
enjoying your role as b3ta's moral and political guardian?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:51, Reply)

If in doubt, mock a ginger.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:53, Reply)

wise words
you always manage to set me right when I lose sight of the big picture
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Too easy.
My mocking skills are way beyond gingers.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Yeah!
Instead of that we should mock people personally and specifically on the internet!

Much less offensive!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:53, Reply)

fuck off cunt face

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Yeah! That sort of thing!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:56, Reply)

Whoa, there, chicken...
It's not the art I'm mocking. I'm simply planning to mock the deep-seated religious folklore that people hold sacred.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:56, Reply)

If they banned a play about the passion because of posible offence to other religions/athiests you'd probably still complain.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

that was a vomit of a sentence

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Then again if all religous public events were banned, who would be point and laugh at?

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Religion is quite good though, I wish I was religious, I really do.
It's had terrible things done in it's name, but it has also done many wonderful things.

Some of it's principals are dated, like everything else that is at least 2000 years old, but many of them hold true today.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:11, Reply)

You don't need religion to think about doing good things.
It was invented for us to make sense of our short and crappy lives.

I may not want to die soon but when it does come then I will glady embrace the nothingness afterwards.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:18, Reply)

No, but plenty of people do.
Imagine if the various nutters around the world kept to the principals of the 10 Commandments, and they had uncorrupted religion and kept to it, masacures around the middle-east and africa probably wouldn't happen.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:22, Reply)

But those good commandments are sound philosphical tenets
They don't need to be religious to be a good idea.

'Don't kill anyone' is good secular advice - not wanting to kill anyone because you are scared of divine retribution is inherently selfish, whereas not wanting to kill anyone because it is simply a cuntish thing to do is morally superior.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I'm not saying they should ban it.
In the same way I don't think they should have banned Islam4UK. I reserve the right of these people to spout their opinions, however stupid, crass or offensive I might find them. But I also reserve the right to spout my opinion back - in the same way that "Thought for the Day" makes me wish I could phone in to tell the sanctimonious prick speaking to fuck off.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:00, Reply)

just shut up and go and watch it, you may enjoy it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Why don't you shut up and go and watch it?
*pokes tongue*
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I've got better things to do.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:15, Reply)

no you haven't

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Hey! Leave him alone!
Failing miserably to get chicks is fucking time consuming, alright?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:28, Reply)

couldn't be described as better though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Me and my uncle can whistle it really well

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Is there no end to your talents?

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:01, Reply)

There is an end
And it comes just after 'Best Lady Whistler in the North West'.
You wanna hear me do My Sweet Lord. Lad out of Zutons requested it off me once.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I will definitely request it when we get to meet.
*thinks of something to bring to the table*
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:10, Reply)

The size of yours, they'll rest nicely on the table!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:11, Reply)

haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Can you whistle that "We buy any car" song?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I could try and learn it

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Can you do that one by Oasis?
Amazing pile of bricks stacked in such a way as to form a structure used as a barrier, or in the construction of a building?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

That was Pink Floyd wasn't it?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:28, Reply)

No silly
Pink Floyd did "The single oblong object which was stacked with other oblong objects in such a way as to form a structure used as a barrier, or in the construction of a building"

"Amazing pile of bricks stacked in such a way as to form a structure used as a barrier, or in the construction of a building" was definately Oasis.

The titles are quite similar but the songs couldn't be more different.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I'M SO FUCKING STUPID!!!111!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:37, Reply)

CLICKIN DIS!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:44, Reply)

I expect an MP3 by this afternoon !
=)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:27, Reply)

What about getting some people dressed up
in traditional Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and whatever else garb, and singing the "Go Compare" ad?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:21, Reply)

That is inspired.
And far more clever than my childish suggestion.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Yep - genius.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Excellent.
You've made my Tuesday morning slightly more bearable.

But my sandwiches are still soggy.
(TheColonel, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:39, Reply)

You'd have to put twirly moustaches on them
just for fun.

Can't do anything about the sandwiches, I'm afraid.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I would like to play...
...'Always look on the bright side of life'.

or..

'Hangin' Around' by The Stranglers.

Edit - Colleague suggested 'Sit Down' by James.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:51, Reply)