I'm a bit bored. Which are the best and worst music videos EVER?
To my mind they are both one and the same:

Jagger/Bowie's 'Dancing in the Streets'

Car crash television in extremis. The bit where Bowie's singing and Mick keeps popping out from behind a pillar is fucking priceless. The clothing is hilarious and the song itself beyond parody.

I could watch it all day, every day and never stop pissing myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:32, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You should probably see a doctor about that.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:34, Reply)

I think I must have cystitis

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Hello by Lionel Ritchie
Scary stalking bastard.
And if she's blind right, why is her bedside lamp on?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:35, Reply)

STOP spoiling teh love

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:37, Reply)

But why's it on?
So she can see her Braille copy of Grazia more clearly in the dark??
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:38, Reply)

So when her helper comes in to comfort her
he can see where he's putting it.

For me it is the clay head she is sculpting, pure terror.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:40, Reply)

'comfort'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Yes
The sloppy variety
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:49, Reply)

she's also FUCKING SHIT at sculpture
I don't care if she IS blind - she's in the wrong business. She should try being a piano tuner or something.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:41, Reply)

She makes Lionel look like a fucking bison
and he doesn't need any help in that department as it is.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:44, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Best: "Kiss me where it smells funny" by the Bloodhound Gang
Man in hat goes into fishmongers. Looks shifty. Grabs big fish and runs. Rest of the video consists of him running, jumping and diving while holding the fish. His hat falls off a lot and is mysteriously back on his head in the next shot. In the finale he arrives at the beach, kisses the fish, hurls it into the sea and walks off happily. The fish washes back up on the beach.

Poignant.

Worst video: (also worst song) Vertigo by U2. just because
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:36, Reply)

the one
when they're up on that rooftop in America is even worse.

Cunts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I hate those cunts
ooo, playing on a rooftop, that's original
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Falling off a rooftop - now that I would like to see...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Standing on the rooftops
everybody scream YOUR HEART OUUUUUUUT!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Uh-oh.

(TheColonel, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Hehehehe
What don't you like the LostProphets? Hehe

Rooftops always reminds me of my friend Tom who gets really drunk and starts singing it really loudly - he's special.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Lost Prophets
acceptable live, awful on record
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Are they really acceptable live?
I have heard contradicting statements. But my friend Mike was off his tits so I suppose I can't take his opinion too seriously - He thought he was being chased by a gremlin at Leeds a few years ago.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:11, Reply)

I saw them just after they released their first single
I think they were supporting Pitchshifter. I recall them being decent enough live, I was kind of into nu-metal at the time though, so I obviously wasn't thinking straight.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:15, Reply)

were you a fan of 'Limp Bizkit'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Shinobi vs. Dragonninja had a good riff.
It was all downhill from there.
(TheColonel, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Ah that was when the leadsinger was stealing fashion tips from
Douglas Robb of Hoobastank. Lostprophets bascially have no look, they just steal it from whoever is also big at the time. They 'borrowed' their style from Incubus on the next album to that! Madness!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:30, Reply)

What have Madness got to do with this?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:34, Reply)

You know Suggs is Married to Betty Bright from Deaf School dontcha?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:39, Reply)

Yes it is a fucking riot.
That rubber faced cunt is even worse than his Spitting Image puppet in that video.

The Windowlicker video is great. Super sleazy tune with bad trip visuals, a great combination.

Bonnie '40 a day' Tyler and her horrendous 'Total eclipse of the heart', frightening and horrific for a variety of reasons
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:36, Reply)

That Bonnie video is mint right

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:37, Reply)

the 'glowing eyes' sequence is terrifying

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:40, Reply)

It's not. It's poignant.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:45, Reply)

If you thought Bonnie Tyler's was bad
I was linked to this once www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJAI2lAi8HE
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:00, Reply)

Truly appalling. I could watch no more than 10 seconds.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:03, Reply)

Lies
you watched it all and loved it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

I wanked so hard my cock actually came off in my hand.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:17, Reply)

they'll take it as a tribute

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:59, Reply)

BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE BEST MUSIC VIDEOS OF ALL TIME BUT IMMA LET YOU FINISH

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:40, Reply)

There's a Cliff Richard
video where he is rollerskating around in neon and tiny shorts... I saw it once on the telly and it mad me do a bit of sick in my mouth! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:42, Reply)

'Wired for Sound' - truly hysterical viewing
What. A. Homo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Hehehe
Indeed!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Come on now.
He's just good friends with the ex catholic priest.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Of course
of course.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:56, Reply)

my gay uncle shacked up with an anglican priest
for a while at least.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I bet you can't guess where that was filmed?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:44, Reply)

The Redways?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Yep, part of it was filmed about 20m from my front door.
before any of that area was really built.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:46, Reply)

the bit at 1:43
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sn9mLnKmPco
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:47, Reply)

I knew I recognised it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:49, Reply)

00:54 is outside john lewis.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Everytime I pick up my earphones
My uncle goes "Wo-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh" and says "Going for a spin?"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:46, Reply)

I like your uncle.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Oh you'd fucking bum him
He's always on something.
Apart from during Corrie, which he watches with his mother.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Are you calling Monty
an uncle fucker?
( djtrialprice, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Gosh, it would appear I am

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

+in 'that' way

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:53, Reply)

almost mindpiss...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I fear your uncle.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:54, Reply)

You'd like him a bit
he's small and amiable.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Do you like him?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I had an elaborate edit joke thought up for here but you were to slow in replying and now I'm going home.
NOW YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:00, Reply)

OH NOES!
The mystery will leave with ze chomp!

*air grabs*

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

POOF!
It was gone...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:25, Reply)

My dad sold them the skates to that video.
I can't remember if they're wearing Figure Skating stuff too, but if they are, he did that aswell.

He also did the skates for the Robby Williams video where he strips down to his bones.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:07, Reply)

Are you lying?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Nope
He sold/rented a lot of skate stuff to telly people, the gladiator's equipment all came from him too.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:50, Reply)

I would say, the best would have to be..
this
(Millz is skiving off work on, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Please leave the internet.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:44, Reply)

:(

(Millz is skiving off work on, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:46, Reply)

permission
to piss myself please?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:53, Reply)

are you new to the internet or something?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Are you new to sarcasm or something?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Is it the first time you've decided to try being a cunt?

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:55, Reply)

*cries*
Yes. Yes it is. I'm not very good at it am I?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Whatch and learn nonce, watch and learn.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I feel inspired by the brilliant 'Maffers', earlier.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:05, Reply)

Who me
WTF did I do?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:20, Reply)

That was rather my question.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:35, Reply)

an' I stole it.....

(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:43, Reply)

stop it.
There is some truly awful bilge mentioned so far. I would just like to add "Shaddap a ya face"

And despite being a fan of the band in question I find the vid for Rio quite nauseating.

I'll get me coat......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Russ Abott - Atmosphere
Filmed in under an hour, so bad, it isn't even funny.

Although i did pick up one of his albums, mainly for the 'Mad House' theme tune, which i have used to strike fear into the hearts of those far too high on drugs to know they are being abused, and on it is a cracking cod-reggae track called Burnley Is Babylon by King Wilf and the Rastaplasts. Worth every penny of the 99 i spent on it

"I'm a Northern Rastaman, ee by eck I am"

EDIT: Here ye go, fill yer boots

amiestreet.com/music/russ-abbot/nDdnI90mEv0x/

"Knitting woolie hats and smoking me herb, smoking sage in Babylon" - Super stuff, i wonder if he done a video for this?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:47, Reply)

that sounds fucking excellent
I was in The Griffin in Shoreditch recently and some cunt played a reggae number off some 70s Coronation Street LP. How ironic.

I beat him to death shortly after that, and everyone bought me lots of drinks to say thank you.


EDIT: just reading the song titles has made my teeth itch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:53, Reply)

they are all pun fests

(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Yes, pun fests of the lowest order
But the Rasta track is ace. Guarantee you'll be humming it on the way home.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:32, Reply)

no sound at work sadly

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:37, Reply)

Sledgehammer!

( monkeybananaraffle, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Best:
Benny Benassi - Satisfaction
( djtrialprice, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:03, Reply)

I don't know, but here are some honnerable mentions....
www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbkUqRQY14E - The Offspring: The Kids Arn't Allright
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oqXVx3sBOk - Blur: Coffee and TV
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxj7IxPmoIw - A: Nothing
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGytDsqkQY8&feature=channel - Semisonic: Closing time
www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmJxtgmsqAE - Greenday: When I Come Around
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

you've reminded me of the girl in the Offspring's Want you bad video
she makes little Vipros cry salty tears of joy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:08, Reply)

*youtubes*
Oh man, that's an awesome video.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I'm a nobody arriving late to a party I wasn't invited to
but these five songs fill me with joy. Hot, spunky joy.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 2:34, Reply)

The bit in Bowie's China Girl video
Where he makes his eyes go all slanty and then laughs in front of his Chinese 'girlfriend' always seemed wrong to me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:06, Reply)

There he goes again, upsetting people.
Nothing would surprise me about that man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Yip, she should have poured food dye into one of her eyes
and laughed at him, the chromatically challenged CUNT
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:16, Reply)