my question is:
who's been to amsterdam and where is good to go?
i should add that i am;
a: not averse to getting mangled BUT am not basing my trip on doing so
b: interested in art & culture and taking photos of things
c: on a tight ish budget
d: (and this one is key) a bit of a herbal connoiseur, and nerdy with it.

i'm already planning a trip to bluebird in the evening and to green frog (i think that's the name) and the van gogh museum, the crazy science exhibit that looks like a boat, and the hash museum.
what else?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:07, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Homegrown Fantasy
My favourite coffee-shop. It is quite near the train station, but unless you knew about it, you would walk straight past it. No garish signage or lines of oscillating tourists. Lots of locals, board games and a superb range of weed.

Great hot chocolate as well, and the last time I was there they had a small jar with roach in it on the tables. Now that's service
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:11, Reply)

HOLY SHIT!
FREE CARDBOARD??!!!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:19, Reply)

You see, only a flid would say that
The reason is that you don't have to rip your rizla packet, it is very handy thing to have in that particular scenario. Free cardboard at say, a chinese buffet, wouldn't be so handy. Similarly, chopsticks in a coffee-shop would also be a bit useless



Do. You. Under. Stand?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:26, Reply)

nobody gets me on here
:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:32, Reply)

Thats why you should come back to /talk
People are too serious on hereBAAA BOI OI OING! OH NO!! MY POP-UP SPACE HELMET hoobhoobhoob
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Have you seen how angry real qotw got at me mocking spanky?
www.b3ta.com/questions/slapstick/post620061
(PsychoChomp, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:00, Reply)

What a fucking spastic

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:29, Reply)

I try
because I love you and everything about you.
( Peej, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Good call
The Greenhouse Effect is also excellent - they have a bar and adjoining coffee shop - and rooms to let, including some gorgeous ones overhanging the canal.

I have to confess to once spending my entire visit there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:29, Reply)

I really liked a cafe called The Doors and the one next door whose name I've forgotten
the great thing about the doors is you can sit out the front and watch the world go by, rather than be stuck in a dark smokey corner.

Heineken Museum is fairly diverting for an afternoon

EDIT: www.coffeeshopthedoors.com/coffeeshop_info/drugs_home.html

the place 2 doors down is called the rockery, all looks abit different on street view to my memory though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:13, Reply)

It's a good one, you're right
For selection of weed they are front runners
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:25, Reply)

both times I've been to Amsterdam
I've randomly ended up in the same coffee shop first, both times. No idea what it is called, or where it is, but it is a great place.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Thanks for sharing!

I suppose the best advice is listen for Dutch accents and avoid merkins at all costs, they seem to allways be terribly overexcited and annoying in Amsterdam
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:28, Reply)

americans wouldn't be able to get up the steep stairs in the coffee shop that I failed to describe earlier
it's also a mission to get down them when chonged
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:30, Reply)

I stayed in an amazing flat right across from The Doors coffe shop
it was affiliated with the Radisson hotel next door, and was amazing for languidly watching the world go by. Fuck, that was in 1992


*feels ancient*
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:28, Reply)

Lovely place once you get outside the tourist trap
I recommend taknig a stroll along the canals and being freaked out by peoples enormous, curtainless living room windows.

The Van Gogh museum is a must and Rembrandts house is really eery and atmospheric like the Ane Frank house used to be before they bordered all the interesting stuff off.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:14, Reply)

word of advice:
They don't like you wanking in the Anne Frank museum.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:40, Reply)

she was a hot little piece of ass

(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:46, Reply)

It's always the shy ones isn't it?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Shit drummer though
Maybe she'd have improved with a bit more practice, the lazy bitch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:06, Reply)

I always liked...
...'as unused as Ann Frank's tap shoes.'
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:19, Reply)

By the Van Gough museum, do you mean the Rijksmuseum? If so can heartily recommend it. Most interesting. When you're at the science museum (Nemo I think it's called) it's worth popping up onto the roof. Nice views to be had.

Amsterdam does a decent line in Thai food as well. There's a place somewhere near one of the slaezier bits of the red light district that's about the size of someone's living room where they cook the food in front of you.

Cofeehouse wise the only ones I remember with any clarity is the Damkrig (for the Ak47s) and Abraxas, which has mental decor on the third floor and is generally a very pleasent place to spend some time.
(barnaby_kettleworth, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:16, Reply)

i think they're different entities
BUT i heard good things about the rijksmuseum too.
and yeah nemo that's the science one i meant.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:37, Reply)

Just saying...
www.rijksmuseum.nl/

www.vangoghmuseum.nl/vgm/index.jsp?lang=nl
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:01, Reply)

Don't buy weed from a small denim-clad Puerto Rican-looking guy with a pencil moustache and a squeaky voice.
It will not end well for you.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Or you by the sounds of things!
last time I was there I stockeed up for interailing and carried about an ounce through Holland, Belgium, France, Spain and Portugal without getting caught as the borders were all open, those were the days
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:19, Reply)

HA!
I accidentally took about an 8th of resin (not much at all) to Australia - from Manchester to London, to Hong Kong, to Melbourne.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:22, Reply)

45 Euro entry to the Banana Bar.
free drinks. dildo concussion. sorted.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:18, Reply)

I saw Dildo Concussion at the Corn Exchange.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:23, Reply)

You got concussion from exchanging dildos in the cornhole.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:53, Reply)

I went when I was about 10
I quite enjoyed it although I didn't take part in any herbal joys as it wasn't deemed to be an age-appropriate activity, plus it was 20years ago so may not have been legal then.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:20, Reply)

if you get sick of tiny crowded pubs and coffee shops
the Grasshopper is nice and spacious and airy, although touristy and expensive for beer.

getting space is necessary sometimes though.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I recinde my previous advice due to these people sitting next door...
maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en&source=hp&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=the+doors+coffee+shop&fb=1&gl=uk&hq=the+doors+coffee+shop&hnear=Amsterdam,+Niederlande&cid=0,0,17916382456290422695&ei=zKRZS9TgGY7KjAfl9qicAg&sa=X&oi=local_result&ct=image&resnum=1&ved=0CAgQnwIwAA

EDIT: that doesn't work does it...oh well streetview the Bulldog next door and you'll see what I mean
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:22, Reply)

cant say i blame you
EDIT: is the Bulldog the name of the pub/cafe next door, or reference to the people outside?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:26, Reply)

both

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:29, Reply)

thistle licking piss off

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:31, Reply)

The Grey Area
Is also good, especially for cutting edge strains. A bit further out, but worth it if you are a connoisseur.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:35, Reply)

noted.
thanks!
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Don't blame me though
If you stagger out of there wild eyed and looking for a rock to crawl under. They sell some pretty lethal strains, so probably best to take their advice, as opposed to be being a, gung-ho spacker, like I was.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:40, Reply)

if i DON'T stagger out boss eyed and twitching
i shall about face, go back in, and not come out until i can muster a passable impression of a brit on holiday.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:53, Reply)

ok, so i'm sorted for herbals, culture, and probably food
now what about somewhere to rock out to some filthy metal and drink jack daniels to the wee hours.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:39, Reply)

The wonderfully named Excalibur...
...is a biker bar if like that sort of thing.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Cockring is a lovely little club...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:53, Reply)

they used to have good acts on at the Melkweg
but i am talking about fucking aaaages ago - Spacemen 3 recorded their genius live LP Performance there in '89. People like Gong and Ozric Tentacles have also played there...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 14:20, Reply)

My brother in law went there and fucked a prostitute
Timmie who you have met went there and dropped a couple of tabs. "First time on acid?" I asked. "No" he replied "But first time I ever paid for a blowjob"
( Peej, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:40, Reply)

well, while i'm not claiming that i won't look at sundry titties
i'm sorted for blowjobs and pussy that doesn't have a price tag or some kind of filthy supermegabastardaids attached, so while i may well windowshop, peteloaf junior will be remaining in my pants (or hand)
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:52, Reply)

Do not believe...
...'what happens in 'Dam stays in 'Dam' - a dose knows no boundries.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 13:54, Reply)

Ignore that!
Right, avoid the grasshopper at all costs. Nemo is great, and for sure the roof. You want to go to Gollem off het spui or in the pijp for a great choice of Belgian beers. Check out Paradiso for bands/gigs/a good night out. The van gogh is over-rated, assuming they have finishe dremoving the asbestos go to the rijks. Haarlem is great for a day out and loads cheaper. Visit the jordaan over the red light, though go to the red light on a Thursday if poss as Friday and Saturday it's full of English pissheads.

Oh, and get the train from the airport to the dam. Aboout 10 times cheaper, quicker and more fun. Just don't get off at Sloterdijk. :)
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Fri 22 Jan 2010, 23:55, Reply)