this morning, i find myself sorely tested
our venerable inkjet printer has fucked with me for the last time. as soon as the boss gives the word, i'm taking it out on the lawn outside the office, where everyone can see, then i'm gonna drop trow, mount it, and fuck it to death, no lube, no cuddling and chit-chat after. and while this happens, i shall be reminded of the scene from office space where they fuck the printer up with a bat.
what in your morning draws parallels with pop culture shit-naks?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:06, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

i like breasts

( broadsword, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:10, Reply)

i like em too
which makes me think of russ meyer.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Russ Meyer
Get in!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:26, Reply)

YAY!

( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 14:42, Reply)

My life is just like an episode of Friends
Without the attractive women.
Or Friends.
But a slight misunderstanding did once end up with hilarious consequences*.



*Triple rape/homecide
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:16, Reply)

homecide?
is that when you trash a house, or is it a pest repellant to keep comfortable, welcoming houses with good fridge and bed perks away?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:17, Reply)

I fucking hope so
it would certainly make my upcoming trial less of a worry
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:19, Reply)

They wanna ban us on Capital Hill
'cause it's die motherf***** die motherf***** still!
( djtrialprice, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:18, Reply)

I am doing loads of work
It is giving me palpitations because it is fiddly and has to be accurate and I keep thinking I'm going to press the wrong button and blow up the Universe.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:19, Reply)

The green button turns the ham slicer on, the red button turns it off
Use a new bag for each order and don't mix the veggie and chicken samosas
(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:22, Reply)

"No, the chickpeas aren't hal-al, Mrs Watson."

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Not once I've had them up my arse

(Bazongaloid, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:28, Reply)

You don't put frazzles up your arse do you?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:39, Reply)

do you work at Cern?
if so can you pop a slice of bacon into the beam? i'm hunting for the ultimate crispy bacon slice.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

Ugh
I hate it when bacon is so crispy that you can drop it and smash it like glass.
That is not meat. That is dried leather.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:50, Reply)

I'm not really surprised
that you plan no chit-chat or cuddling afterwards, if you want to fuck it to death
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:30, Reply)

I dunno...
...at least you can get a word in.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:39, Reply)

well, the residual warmth might as well go to good use
waste not want not eh?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:48, Reply)