Morning Benders.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:40, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

that's what I get when I wake up with a hard-on
but I'm lying on my front
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:41, Reply)

It is also the name of a band...
..but they are crap.

Thanks for the info on your morning-wood status.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:45, Reply)

knowledge is power

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Breasts are great.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:48, Reply)

So what is knowledge of breasts?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:54, Reply)

GREAT POWER
Like kitten-powered robots with platform shoes on the mechanical feet
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:56, Reply)

Vague memories of mammaries...
...and lashings of pron.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

*sings*
"Mammaries are made of this..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Misty, water-coloured mammaries...
of the way we were...'

Oh wait, is that a different song?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:02, Reply)

Possibly...
But who cares? There are breasts to be thought about!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:10, Reply)

I'm more of a bum man
breasts are just sacks of fat with nipples on them, there's no entry point there at all
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:13, Reply)

You've just got to be a bit Welsh about it
i.e., head for the valley
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:14, Reply)

my penis is too small for soapy titwanks
:C
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:16, Reply)

Great!
That's what it is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Tuggers old boy! How the devil are you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:49, Reply)

This bloody work thing is driving me mad.
The expectations are getting ridiculous.

It was so much easier when I was in Atomic Kitten.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:51, Reply)

I know what you mean.
I look back at my years with the Goombay Dance Band with some fondness, these days.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I am serious.
Not only do the expect me to be here during 'work-hours' but they have taken to giving me 'deadlines'.

Absolute fuckers with no sense of style.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Mate I have to work on Sunday night, this weekend.
It's a fucking outrage. I'm thinking of complaining to human rights campaigner and uber-shirter Peter Tatchell.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I wouldn't.
He'd only bum you and give you teh AIDS.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Refuse to do it.
Storm into their office, announce you are a Christian and consider Sunday the 'Lord's Day', play RATM at full volume 'Fuck you I won't do what you tell me' and flounce off.

That will show them.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:08, Reply)

Tell them you can't do Sunday
That's dogging night down the scout hut.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:09, Reply)

I heard you prefer it up the Brownies?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:10, Reply)

Ha ha! Beautiful.

(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:34, Reply)

Pffft!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Was that a slack ringpiece fart?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Sir! Sir!
Noel's farted, sir.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:50, Reply)

And possibly prolapsed...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Motorbike kickstand.
When the severity of the erection renders it impossible to lie on one's front.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:07, Reply)

Is that of equivalent hardness to
"A pan-handle that could poke holes in a cheap door^[1]"?

_{[1] Viz Profanisaurus Calendar 2007}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:11, Reply)

Indeed.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 12:15, Reply)